Monachopsis

Chapter 1

Inizio
(n) New beginnings.

As a teenager, you think the hardest thing might be getting over your first love, confessing to your crush, or finding a lover - but that's a load of BS, if you ask me. The real challenge for a teenager is fitting in; with trends, underage drinking, trends, partying , online shopping, drugs, and publicized relationships all over social media inwhich you envy, the world can be exhausting if you don't align. If you're smart, you'll have a tight-knit circle, regardless of your appearance. If you're funny and popular, everyone seems to flock to you - that's the reality here. On your first day of school, putting yourself out there isn't what you aim for. It's about ensuring you find your place in the right group.

I've recently transferred from a private institution to attend a public school, but this is not just another public school; it is Sigwinta High, the best school in the whole region and the worst here in Verzetsstraat a town near Diepsloot and not so far from Cosmo City, found north of Johannesburg, Gauteng Province, South Africa. Why would the school system allow an eleventh-grade transfer student? This has to do with my father bribing my way out of that expensive private school and into a public school. Where does my father get that huge amount of money? Mzwandile Zulu is a big man in the taxi business although he wouldn't move us out from eKasi and that RDP housing of his. Tomorrow is the big day where I have to embark on a new journey. I shall put onI promised myself I will make the best impression and make some friends. Doing so, I would break the cycle of loneliness and sociopathic habits.

A sunny, blue sky and the sound of singing birds simultaneously. I look around my surroundings I'm already here, Sigwinta high the stepping stone for me socially, academically and romantically. This school feels like home to me. I glance around, greeted by a joyful and welcoming atmosphere, filled with happy students. They all seem to regard me with admiration. Three students stand beside me, appearing like my friends. One invites me to her house party this Saturday, while another snaps selfies. We strike girly 'bestie' poses, capturing the moment with the camera shutters. The air is filled with the essence of friendship. Abruptly, a relentless and ear-piercing sound jolts me awake. In my dazed state, I unintentionally exclaim, 'F*ck,' as I realize it's just the excruciating sound of my alarm.

I burst out of bed, swiftly brushing my teeth while vibing to some Amapiano music particularly Kwelanga by and featuring . Next, I thoroughly wash my hair, ensuring it gives the perfect impression when I reach school. Following that refreshing moment, I indulge in a breathtakingly hot shower, standing there like a Hollywood actor washing away the blood from their body-it feels almost cinematic. After drying off, just as I prepare to dress in the school uniform, a scary realization strikes me. My father, Mzwandile Zulu, bought this uniform without my input. He doesn't know my measurements or even my age. While the white socks and school shoes fit, the mustard skirt feels like I'm wearing a wedding dress, and just as I'm about to iron my shirt, the devil strikes: load shedding. Suddenly, a bad day unfolds. Alongside my mounting anxiety, I've also forgotten to fix my hair properly-it's now a bad hair day too at least my school shirt is ironed. My father gives me a ride to school in his Volkswagen Polo, tension thick in the air due to my frustration about the skirt. The moment the car stops, I exit without hesitation and slam the door to his face.

'Have a good day, mntwan'am (my child),' he exclaims as I enter the school gate.

I don't even turn to glance or wave at him; at this point, I'm more concerned about potential bullies and making a bad impression. I Look around; the place is crowded, with social cliques in every corner-the popular kids, the jocks, the gangsters (amaphara), and so forth. Unlike in my dreams, this place feels like a dystopian society, with the popular atop the social pyramid. I can't stop observing this environment, trying to understand it as there's a huge gap between it and the private school. The place is beautiful from an architectural perspective, although the students tarnish it by vandalizing it.