Finding Your Missing Harmony

Last Stall On the Left

Mr. Bannister: Welcome, freshmen. I'm sure you're bummed to be back in school. Well, so am I! Five hundred words: what you did on your summer vacation! (hitting the desk)

Randy: Name: Randy Cunningham. Grade: Nine. Title: What I Did On My Summer... (his sentence is interrupted by a ginger-haired boy, Howard Weinerman)

Howard: Cunningham! Let me copy off ya.

Randy: Howard, we can't turn in the exact same essay!

Howard: But we had the exact same summer! (He is struck by Mr. Bannister's shoe.)

Mr. Bannister: No talking!

Howard: Ohhhh...

Randy (voice-over): Well... not the exact same. I mean, it started out the same.

(Flashing back to summer break. The scene transitions to Randy's room. The two best friends enthusiastically play the Grave Puncher trilogy)

Randy (voice-over): Then a week ago, something epic happened!

Video Game Announcer: Congratulations. You have punched all the graves. (Randy and Howard perform their handshake to celebrate their victory)

Randy (voice-over): The day after that, something even epic-er happened! (A silhouette of an unknown man wearing a cowboy hat sneaks off Randy's room after dropping by to place a mystical box on Randy's table, Randy then curiously opens the box, to which the contents of it gave a radiating golden glow)

Randy: (carrying the book in a dramatic way) The NinjaNomicon... eh. (Randy dismisses the Nomicon and throws it aside, to which the Nomicon glows, he then picks up a handwritten note and reads it) You are the Ninja. Oh, my swee-heet! (He triumphantly holds the mask in excitement) I have to tell Howard! (reading the accompanying note) 'You can't tell anyone.' Aw, that's wonk! (Randy tries on the mask and feels a surge of power within him, where the magical ribbons of the suit envelope him, suiting him up into his Ninja form, finished off with an extravagant flip with the scarf flowing with the breeze)

Randy (voice-over): Listen, I don't know how it works, but the Ninja suit is the straight-up cheese. It lets me do things I could never, ever do. (The flashback shows Randy as The Ninja giving martial-arts shouts while destroying objects in his room, such as punching a robot into minute contents and another alien toy, he then finished it off with kicking a purple plush bear's head): Hah... huh... haaaaa-YAH! Ha-hahh! Hah, haha, hah!

Randy (voice-over): I am Randy Cunningham. I am the Ninja! (Randy performs martial arts poses, his scarf transitions back to the present) ... It's pretty much the coolest thing ever! (Flashing forward to Bannister's class) Only problem is, I can't tell anyone – not even my best friend! (Howard hums.)

Mr. Bannister: Pencils down!

Randy (voice-over): And now I'm realizing, this probably wasn't the best topic for my essay! (tearing up his paper)

Mr. Bannister: What's this supposed to be?

Randy: Uh, my commentary on the fleeting nature of summer?

Mr. Bannister: Mmm... excellent use of metaphor!

Randy: Aced it!

Mr. Bannister: I'll give you a B.

Randy: B-ced it!

Bucky: (Running away) Go away, Bash! I don't want a wedgie!

Bash:(Swinging Bucky's underwear) I already gave you a wedgie! I just wanna give you your change!