EUNEIROPHRENIA - tmr, minho

IV

Alan's words were as thick and heavy, lingering in the air. All eyes now rested on me, some concerned, others irritated, or somehow both. Julian was the first to break the silence; he leaned forward in his chair, a faint smile teasing at the edges of his lips, despite the tension – filled room.

"Look, Marie, we're all glad you have the guts for this stuff, but do you really want to go off without us? We're a package deal, you know."

Alan gave Julian a pointed look; Julian merely shrugged and leaned back. I could see the concern etched on his face behind the humour he used to veil it.

I blew out a sigh, my frustration washing over me anew. "You guys just don't understand. It's not about 'kicking butt' or being some hero. I just can't sit around while Minho's out there – wherever he is – more than likely hurting. I'd never be able to forgive myself for doing nothing."

"Well, maybe you should think more about the rest of us instead of just Minho," Nick cut in sharply. His tone was edged with anger, and I could see his jaw clenching. "We're all here too, Marie. You're not the only one that's lost people."

I did, taking a deep breath in an attempt not to snap back. "Nick, I am not trying to disregard the pain of anyone else here. I just... I don't know. I guess I feel like I owe it to him. He was there for me. Now it's my turn."

"And you think ditching us is the best way to do that?" Nick shook his head, practically vibrating with anger now. "You don't think we want to help too? You're just acting like this is some personal mission."

Julian jumped in again, softer this time, "Look Marie, you know we'd help if we thought we could. But you can't go out there alone. We just got to the point where we can breathe again. We saved a load of people. I know it's not everyone, but it's something. You gotta give us a little time."

I nodded slowly, my eyes closed. I mean, it wasn't like I didn't get it – but the idea of just sitting here – safe –while Minho was out there in danger, made me feel sick.

Alan cleared his throat, as if being tactful. "Marie, maybe Julian does have a bit of a point. You want to find Minho? We can do it together. Just... not right now. Let's give it a few months, yeah? Seems only fair, doesn't it?"

I bit my lip, looking at each of them. They were here because of me, because they trusted me to help them, and perhaps I was being a bit reckless. I knew Alan was right, but part of me just didn't want to admit it.

"I don't want to make any promises I can't keep," I finally said, looking down. "But I guess I can wait for a little while."

Nick scoffed. "How generous of you."

"Nick, I swear to—" I caught myself, taking a deep breath. "Fine, whatever."

I managed a small smile. Won't be happening.

"Glad that's sorted, then," Alan breathed, taking a long, relieved sip from the steaming cup before him. For the first time in days, his face softened and the lines around his eyes finally eased as he took in the rare moment of calm.

I nodded, falling back into my chair. My own muscles felt loose, as if finally tension was seeping away after being bottled up for so long. "In a few months, then?" I asked, keeping my voice steady, but the question hung in the air between us, heavy with unspoken uncertainties.

Rosa looked up at me and gave a small, reassuring smile. "Sounds good." Her eyes were soft and warm, but I saw something else there too-a reflected glimmer of something bottomless, perhaps mutual relief, perhaps just the shared exhaustion of all that we'd been through.

I forced a fast smile of my own, hoping it seemed real, before pushing back my chair to rise and leave. Rosa waved a little. Alan nodded. I didn't linger further; little was left to say, and with a step outside, the coldness hit my face like a reminder of everything still ahead. I pulled my jacket closer, but those icy winds managed to force their way in and yanked my hair out of place almost right away. Burying my hands deep in my pockets, I made my way across camp toward my tent.