To Our Doom (Paused)

Chapter 16: Night Talks and Breakfast Hustles

The night passes slowly, as the girls continue talking in Sarah's family room. The hotel room was lit by lamps on the sides of two single beds. Sana said she'd sleep on the floor in between the beds with a duvet and blanket while Sarah and Maryam got their own beds.

In the dimly lit room, Sana sat up on her makeshift bed on the floor. Sarah covered herself with her thick blanket as she lay on the bed, getting ready to sleep. Maryam laid on her side, facing Sarah and glancing at Sana when she talked.

Sarah yawned, and both of the other girls knew that meant it was past their sleepy friend's bedtime. "Sana, Maryam, I'm going to sleep," Sarah announced, in her soft low voice, already half asleep.

"Alright, sleep, but I'm going to answer your question now," Sana teased, knowing her best friend would stay awake if she had tea to spill.

Sarah sat up, temporarily shaking away the sleep weighing down her eyelids, "About Hasan?"

Maryam raised an intrigued brow at her elder sister's exchange. "Akhi Hasan?"

Sarah and Sana looked back at Maryam who was glancing back and forth at them curiously.

"Hasan sent Hania to hand me his extra coat because he guessed I would forget mine," Sana spilled the tea. Maryam gasped, covering her mouth with both hands. Sarah raised a brow, and a smirk crept onto the side of her lips.

"Is that so?" Sarah held her chin. "That's weird of him,"

"No!" Maryam retorted. "That's so sweet of him!"

Sana sighed and stood up to tuck her best friend under the blanket. "More tea later, now go to sleep,"

"Are you alright, Sana?" Sarah asked, knowing Sana must be so bewildered right now.

"I will be," was all she said as she switched off the light at Maryam's side. "Sarah keep yours on," she said, referring to the lamp by Sarah's bed.

"Alright then, 3 Quls Ayatul Kursi (read for protection) and go to bed!" Sarah announced.

***

Sana couldn't sleep that night. She stirred restlessly on the makeshift bed on the floor and frowned at the "argument" she had with Hasan earlier. Her heart clenched and tightened at the thought of him. It hurt. Was he pushing her away or drawing her close? Drawing a line between them or expelling any lines? The uncertainty loomed over her heart like a persistent shadow of doubt.

She lifted the heavy blanket off of her and stood up. She grabbed her khimar from her bag and positioned a prayer mat towards the Qiblah indicated on the ceiling. She saw the digital clock beside Maryam on her bedside table, and it read 4 AM. Following the direction, she locked herself away in prayer.

She let her thoughts flow in Salat-at-Tahajjud, the time when Allah is closest to His slaves.

My Lord, You know your slave better than I can ever. Forgive me and forgive him. Guide me and guide him to make decisions that please you – and ease this pain in my heart that you are aware of, but I don't recognize. Our Lord! You certainly know what we conceal and what we reveal. Nothing on earth or in heaven is hidden from Allah. [underlined dua from Surah Ibrahim, Ayah 38].

Sarah blinked awake with bleary eyes. Her eyes registered a figure in a long dress and popped open. She stared at the figure and saw it move swiftly yet steadily. Sarah rubbed her eyes to clear off the blurriness of her eyes, only to see her best friend. She hid herself under the blanket and tried to listen in on her conversation.

"Why does it hurt so much?" Sana thought aloud, frowning, feeling that stupid clenching feeling in her heart again as she thought back to her encounter with Hasan.