Therapy - Ashton Irwin (AU)

Not a monster

Ashton POV

I didn't know what to do. I hate myself for telling her. Maybe I should have waited for us to get closer but then our relationship wouldn't be build on trust but lies. I couldn't have that. It was the next day but I didn't get out of bed. I stayed were I am, not wanting to move. Only, if I killed myself that day everyone would be happy. My mom wouldn't have to deal with a kid that is a murderer. I didn't want to become like that. I really wanted a normal life. Especially after I found out my dad was a murderer. I read books where if you have a murderers blood then you become a murderer. I didn't want that to happen to me. I couldn't stop it, I have become a murderer too. My mom didn't tell me about my dad but I saw news articles under my mom's bed. After I did some research and came to know my dad was a very bad person. That is the reason my mom never talked about him. Teres were streaming down my face.

"Ashton." My mom said as she walked in.

I wiped my tears quickly. When she saw she ran to me and sat on my bed

"Ashton, what happened?" She asked with a worried expression.

"M...mom...I became.....a.......Mon....monster!" I said crying hysterically.

I couldn't stand knowing I hurt people around me. I am become like dad. When I found out he was a rapist I stayed away from any sexual sense or whatever. My teenager life was a mess, I did everything to not become like him. I am 22 yet I am scared.

"No, Ashton you aren't a monster." My mom said hugging me.

"Then why do I always hurt people?? Why did I kill those two girls?? Why did I make you cry every day?? Why did I make my band members hurt?? WHY DID I MAKE AUDREY HURT??!?!" I said raising my voice as I cried more.

"Hun, that isn't true. Everyone makes mistakes. I never cried because of you. I cried because I wasn't there for you. I wasn't a good mother to you back then. I treated you like first because I was scared you would become like your dad." She said as tears streamed down her face.

"Your band members, you didn't hurt them. It might have been tough on them but they still care about you." She said still hugging me.

"How do you know?" I asked.

"All of them would call me since they didn't know your new number and ask me to talk to you. They would cry. One time when you were in therapy they came over and trashed the house. They looked for you."

My eyes widen. They really cared. They missed me. I miss them too, but if they found out what I did they would hate me.

"And Audrey just needs a little time. She has been through a lot too. I can see it in her eyes. She has been hurt that she build up walls. She just needs time to talk to you." My mom smiled.

She wiped her tears.

"So honey don't cry." She said.

My moms started to sing Ed Sheeran. I smiled. After a while I started singing along with her to thinking out loud.

"Cause honey your soul could never grow old, it's evergreen"

"And, baby, your smile's forever in my mind and memory"

"I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways"

"Maybe it's all part of a plan......... Well, I'll just keep on making the same mistakes"

We both sang together.

"Wow! My still has got it." I said smiling wide.

Just then my phone rang. I picked it and looked at the screen. It is Audrey. I answered.

"Hey." I said.

"Ashton, meet me at the park between your house and mine, in twenty minutes." She said from the other line.

"What?" I asked confused.

"I will text you the address." She said before hanging up.

I quickly got out of bed. My mom jumped.

"What happened?" She asked.

"Audrey wants to meet me!" I screamed with joy.

My mom smiled. "Good luck." She said.

I quickly grabbed my clothes. I ran to the washroom and took a quick shower. I dressed myself and styled my hair. Maybe this is my chance. Maybe, she is giving another me another chance. Well what ever it is I am happy. After, I ran downstairs.

"Bye, mom." I said before walking out the door.

Ahh, I am so happy. I couldn't stop smiling. I checked my phone, to see the address. Oh, this use to my favorite park when I was 10 until I found out what my dad did. I stopped going outside then I met my former band members in school. Calum, was my best friend. He helped me the most out of Ashton and Luke. I remember how we didn't like Ashton in the beginning but finally started to like him when we heard him playing drums in music class. Ahh, those were good times. I was at the park. I waited for her to arrive. I saw her walking towards me. I smiled and waved. Oh I missed her.

"Hi Ashton." She said waving back.

"About yesterday, I am sorry. I didn't know how to react and I did what I did without thinking. But I thought about it all night and thought of meeting you. I realized that it isn't your fault. You were hypnotized by some rude jerk. Only, if you knew who it was. We could have found the real murderer." She said in one breath.

"I missed you." I said hugging her.

"I did too." She said hugging me back.

"Thanks for understanding me." I said to her.

"No, I am sorry for not understanding you earlier." She said.

As we were hugging tears were streaming down. I really did miss her. The way her hair smells and the way she smiles. I just wanted to see her again. She looks so beautiful even when she didn't try. I realized that I loved her. She was amazing.

"Why don't we try to find out?" I asked.

"Huh?" She said confused.

She pulled away from the hug and wiped her tears. She looked cute even when she was confused. I smiled at her.

"Research?" I said.

She nodded.

"Tomorrow, we will find all the people that might have held a grudge against your sister." I said.

She nodded.

"But how?" She asked.

I just smiled at her. "I know people." I said.

"Anyways, why don't we eat?" I asked.