Constant

Chapter 7

The bus ride to school on Monday morning wasn't awful. I sat by the window, thinking about the past weekend and about Hannah. I didn't know if I could consider her my first potential friend in years. My lingering feelings of aversion toward Lumenoil was starting to fade, and a small seed of hope was sprouting. Mom had reached level two and was invited to attend seminars in Baltimore. I didn't know exactly what that entailed, but it sounded promising. Hannah's positive attitude about Lumenoil and the community also aided to put the company in a positive light. If Hannah had grown up with this company, and the community, and loved it, how could it be bad? If it was bad, then she should have wanted to revolt and leave at first possible chance. The possibility of a scholarship was what finally did me in and jump on the Lumenoil train. It made me forgive their smelly oils, candles and incense. I could endure smelling like roses and cinnamon, if it meant that I could go to college.

The eternal dust of doubt inside me could, however, not be completely obliterated. All the moves, all the missed opportunities, all the losses, had turned me into a skeptic of epic proportions. I couldn't trust a good thing, because I knew it could be gone in an instant. I knew better than to get my hopes up.

Yet, I still did. I let the promise of Lumenoil spark hope inside me, making the crash that eventually would come even worse.

The rain that hung in the air as I made my way from the bus stop to the main entrance to school didn't bother me either. I aimed for the main entrance and was just about to grab the handle when someone pushed me aside. Ben. What the hell. Why did our paths keep crossing?

"Watch where you're going," he said.

"Excuse me? I was here first."

"Well, I'm here now, so move it." He pushed me aside again and pulled the door open. Ty White—Ben's best friend—followed him, not even glancing at me as he passed. I rolled my eyes. I had identified Ty as one of the more popular guys at school, and Ben being popular by association. Even with his grumpy attitude. I wondered if I was his only victim, or if there were others he tormented as well. I tried my best to ignore them, knowing I had to rise higher because God only knew I couldn't go any lower than Ben. He had it out for me, and I didn't understand why. Was this still all about those damn oils?

My locker still had lingering smells from the oily event. I noticed a patch on the bottom of my locker, that couldn't be anything else but a thin layer of oil. I had to get rid of that.

"Lemon zest," someone hissed behind me. I whirled around, seeing Ben walk past. Why did he keep appearing everywhere?

"What's your problem?" I asked, angry. Ben kept walking. "Hey, I'm talking to you!"

"Yeah, and I'm not listening," he replied over his shoulder. Ty, who walked next to him, whispered something in his ear, which made Ben laugh. Ty looked back at me, an apologetic look in his eyes. I frowned in confusion. What did I miss? Urgh, it didn't matter. Ben wasn't worth my time.

When I came home, Mom sat at the kitchen table, typing away on the calculator and making notes. Papers were scattered on the table, and she frowned deeply.

"Hey Mom," I said. "Is everything alright?"

"We're in for a hard month," she said, mostly to herself.

"Yeah, how bad?" I asked.

She sighed deeply and pushed away the calculator. She wrung her hands, and her eyes were deep with worry.

"We're behind with four hundred, and I don't know if I can make that much before the bills are due."

I nibbled on my bottom lip. "Maybe you should ask SaveTown for some extra shifts," I suggested. Her look of worry turned into one of determination. Maybe even anger. I sat down across from her, and she started gathering the papers into a neat pile.