Constant

Chapter 13

Louis helped me up the basement stairs, through the library, and out into the frosty night. With my head spinning and vision blurred, I collapsed on the grass. How could the ground be spinning when I was laying still? I groaned, feeling the bile rise in my throat. The cold crisp grass stuck to my cheek. What happened? I couldn't really recall...

"You okay there, champ?" Louis asked, standing beside me, looking down.

"No," I said.

"You'll be alright, welcome to the Light," he replied.

I groaned as I became more aware of my body. Everything hurt, nothing felt alright. It was as if I didn't belong in my own body anymore. Nothing made sense. The pain. The dullness in my brain. Me going insane. Nothing felt right.

"You'll be alright," he said, as if reading my mind, before going back inside.

"Wai–" I said, just as the door shut behind him.

Was he just going to leave me here all alone? I awkwardly sat up, trying to balance whatever needed balancing in my head. It was as if something in my brain had shifted. This felt wrong. Something on my arm hurt. I started sobbing. What the hell happened? I looked at my left arm, seeing it wrapped in crisp white gauze.

I scrambled to my feet, head spinning, stomach turning, and tried making my way to the gates. They were closed, of course. I grabbed the bars, shaking them. It did nothing.

"Maya, where are you going?" a voice called. I turned around, seeing a blurry figure in the distance. I spun back to the gates, shaking it to no avail. "Maya!" I recognized the voice now. It was Louis. I turned to the right, following the tall brick fence toward the woods. It couldn't go on forever, could it? I heard Louis running toward me, sending me into pure panic as I started running toward the tree line. Still hearing him, I ran faster. My mind was a blur, I barely saw anything in front of me, but adrenaline shot me forward. Running straight was impossible, keeping upright was difficult, but I managed.

Twigs, roots and stones got in my way, making me trip, but I got up each and every time. I could still hear him after me, and I continued deeper into the dark forest. A low-hanging branch scraped my cheek, making me swear under my breath. If only I was running on an empty street or a track, then I would have outrun him with no problem. Even intoxicated.

I couldn't see further than three feet in front of me. It wasn't until several minutes into my journey in the woods that I realized I had no idea where I was. I dug into my bra, picking up my phone. The GPS wasn't working, because the maps wouldn't load. I guess there was no service out here. Damn it. I fumbled with my phone as I tired putting it back in my bra, accidentally turning on the flashlight. Perfect! I carefully listened to the sounds of the forest, expecting to hear Louis call my name. But I heard nothing other than my own heartbeat. Ironically, I let the light lead me forward. After a while, I stopped and leaned against a tree to catch my breath. The adrenaline had been replaced with my drunken daze, and I stumbled.

The ordeal was a sobering experience, yet my eyes had trouble focusing.

I continued moving, trying to find a path to follow. Whenever I heard a voice in the distance, I turned off the light, afraid that it would give me away. I counted to sixty, before turning it back on and continuing my journey.

A light shone through the trees in front of me, terrifying me. Had I somehow turned back to the community? Just my luck, running in a circle.

But the light disappeared, and a moment later another light shone through the trees the same way and disappeared. I frowned in confusion. Then it dawned on me.

The road!

I started moving again, as fast as I could, and the trees finally started thinning out, leaving me with the open road. Stumbling over the ditch, I fell to my knees on the cold, chilly pavement. I looked up and down the road, wondering which way to go. I tried to make sense of which way I had run from the community, and which way would make sense to go. But my mind was useless, only thinking that the ditch looked comfy enough to sleep in. I picked a direction at random, and started walking. There were no streetlights here, but the moon shone bright enough for me to see the road in front of me, so I let my phone rest in my bra. The thin sole made it feel like I was walking barefoot. My feet ached. My arm ached. Everything ached. Tears streamed down my face, and I sobbed and shuddered. Everything was crap. What the hell happened tonight? It was like a locked door in my mind, refusing to let me think back of what happened after dinner.

I slipped on some black ice, scraping my bare knees on the pavement.

"Shit, shit, shit," I groaned and sobbed. The dress and shoes were ruined after running through the woods. Would Hannah hate me now?

I couldn't get up. I remained on the road like this was the place I was going to die. I didn't want to get up. I didn't want to do anything. Except sleep. Oh God, I wanted to sleep. With a heavy sigh, I eventually got to my feet again and continued my shaky journey. I knew I had to keep going, it was only a matter of time before Louis or someone else caught up with me.

The rumble of a car approaching caught my attention, the headlights casting shadows on the trees and winding road. A car! A car!

I stumbled into the road, waving my arms to get the car to stop. It wasn't until the car rounded a windy corner of the road that I realized it could have been someone from the community. Did Louis get a car? Impossible, he had been drinking, so the breathalyzer wouldn't have worked. The headlights blinded me as the car rushed closer. The tires screeched like nails on a chalkboard, but the car didn't slow. Why wasn't it slowing?

The car came rushing toward me from an awkward angle. I tried getting out of the way, but my feet slipped on the black ice, keeping me in place. I raised my arm, bracing for impact...

The car slid to a halt a few feet in front of me. I lowered my arm and was almost blinded by the headlights.

The driver's door opened.

"What the hell are you doing?" Greta yelled. "Get in the car. Now!"

I looked around.

"Are you alone?" I asked. "I don't want to go back."

"I'm not taking you back. I'm taking you home, you idiot," she snapped. "Get in!"

I got into the passenger seat, shuddering by the sudden warmth of the car. Greta glared at me when she put the car into gear.

"You really done it this time," she spat. I met her gaze, expecting to see anger and fury, but seeing nothing but sadness. Her harsh words didn't mirror her expression.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled. "I... I want to go home."

"Yeah, I figured," she said, still sounding annoyed as we drove off.

A part of me expected her to take me back to the community, but she did as I asked. She drove me all the way home, without saying a word. It wasn't until I opened the door, to get out, that she grabbed my hand. I looked down, then at her.

"Welcome to the Light," she said. "I'm happy you've been enlightened."

I frowned. Was she serious? Her face was blank and unreadable until she forced a smile. It didn't look natural. I pulled back my hand and shut the door hard behind me. She didn't drive off until I was safely back inside the house.