Constant

Chapter 8

Mom sat in front of her computer, dressed in her Lumenoil shirt, hair flowing over her shoulders in soft waves, and earphones on. Her smile was too wide.

"Hi everybody," she said, waving at her camera. "I'm so glad I could take part in this video call. My name is Pauline, but my friends call me Poppy, and I have been a part of Lumenoil for a little over three weeks now. My favorite product is Lumenite, which is the essential oil and incense combo that helps you sleep. I look forward to hearing more about you all!"

I watched from the door to the living room, knowing Mom was too focused on her task to notice me. This was our new normal, Mom having her team-talks every other day. Her smile never left her face, and the longer it went on, the more forced it became. She nodded to whatever they said, and every now and again she would raise her eyebrows and mouth an "oh". Too bad she didn't have her speakers plugged in; I'd love to hear what was so amazing. I took a deep breath, trying to shake off the feeling of unease. I'd spent the past two weekends with Hannah at the community, and we were reaching some kind of friendship territory. She had a wicked sense of humor, while there was an innocence to her, which probably came from her secluded upbringing. She spent most of her time in the community, leaving no time to experience much of the outside world. She wasn't even allowed to have social media.

Mom was finally making money. Maybe things were turning around, and she would make this work. I really wanted to believe that, while I also wanted to gag. I had never heard Mom sound so fake before. Her voice was at least two octaves higher than usual. The sugary sweetness to her voice didn't fit her. She was a force to be reckoned with, not a sweet, submissive princess.

"Yes, I would love to attend a gathering. I've heard so much great things about them," Mom said, nodding.

I rolled my eyes, slowly sliding my back against the wall until I was sitting on the floor. I knew I needed to listen to this if I wanted to understand it.

"I'm currently in the self-improvement coach program," Mom said. "I think there are definite reasons to use incense during sessions. My paper will be on the advantages of incense during self-improvement meditation."

My ears perked. She was writing a paper? Maybe the self-improvement course was legit after all. Why else would she be required to write a paper? Would she become certified as well? A small smile found its way to my face as the small bubble of hope continued to grow inside me, replacing the feeling of unease that I was so used to. People sought self-improvement all the time, so there must be a market for coaches. Even though Highstone was a small town, bigger towns surrounded it, and Baltimore was only roughly an hour away. Also, there was social media. I got up from the floor, deciding that I didn't need to listen anymore. I would ask Mom about her paper later and have her explain exactly what that coaching-thing was about. She could settle the last of my worries.

I walked with my head held high, a small smile tugging at my lips. I barely recognized the feeling of happiness because it had been quite a while since I'd had a reason to be happy. When I met Bethany and Joyce in the girls' bathroom I smiled at Bethany.

"Hi," I said, as I washed my hands. Joyce didn't say anything as she disappeared into a stall. Bethany smiled back.

"Hi," Bethany said. "How's it going?"

"Good," I replied.

"That's good," Bethany said, looking at me. I nodded, while my mind fumbled for something more to say, but I drew a blank. The longer the silence between us lasted, the more uncomfortable I became. I let out a nervous laugh, and she gave me a curious look. I was really bad at this. Why did my friendship with Hannah come so easily, but with Bethany, it was like pulling teeth?