Constant

Chapter 14

The next morning, I woke up from sleeping on the bathroom floor with a towel as a pillow. My head was pounding, and my stomach had been turned inside out and emptied too many times to count. When my head eventually stopped spinning, I sat up and was reminded of my arm. Snippets from last night flashed before my eyes, but I couldn't make sense of it. Everything that happened before my adventure through the forest was fuzzy, and I started doubting that what happened actually happened. It was too unreal.

Slowly, unwinding the bandage, I breathed through my nose. There was dried blood, making the bandage stick to whatever wounds hid underneath, so I winced as I removed it. I gulped when I saw the cuts.

Three parallel lines, roughly two inches long. They looked intentional. Exactly the same length, and absolutely parallel. What was this? I rinsed the wounds under cold water, to get off the caked blood, and I winced again. Some blood left the wounds, and there was a sting of pain as the cut stretched.

I pulled on a long-sleeved shirt to cover my arms and went to look for Mom. But she wasn't home—go figure. She also didn't answer her phone. I went back to bed, curling up into a ball and cried. I cried for everything that had happened. For everything I remembered. For everything that made sense.

And for everything that didn't.

"Maya." Mom knocked on my bedroom door later that same Sunday. She had arrived home at noon, with no worries in the world. "I'm going downtown in an hour. I'm having a presentation; I'd love for you to be there. Also, did you have fun last night?"

"Yeah," I replied. I didn't know how to put what happened into words. Did she know what happened? Would she believe me if I told her? How would I tell her? Nothing made sense, and my memories were blurry. Could I have prevented it from happening? Was this on me? I didn't know. Tears sprung to my eyes, and I closed them. I tried swallowing down the lump in my throat, making it grow in my stomach instead. Whatever the Light did to me, I couldn't be afraid. What was the worst they could do to me now? I was one of them, right? Wasn't that what they said? I should be safe now. They couldn't hurt me anymore. What they did... it couldn't get worse. It just couldn't. I shook my head, trying to clear it. The memories just didn't fit. I didn't know what happened. I didn't know how I got cut like a fish. I had to ask Hannah about what happened. She should know what happened, and she would clear it all up. I was sure of it. I breathed out a shuddery breath, not believing my own lies. I was sure of nothing.

I met my gaze in the mirror, seeing a defeated little girl. "Chin up, Maya, you can do this," I told myself. The little girl snorted and rolled her eyes. "Please." I needed to believe in myself, I needed to believe I could do this. That I could soldier on. The little girl looked away. I had lost.

The presentation was taking place in one of the lecture halls at the local library. There were people everywhere, and almost everyone was dressed the same, with Lumenoil's trademark gray pants and white shirt. An internal affair.

"I need to prepare," Mom said. "Go find a nice seat."

Mom walked away, while I turned toward the lecture hall. It was impossible to walk in the wrong direction, considering the large signs showing me the way.

"Lumenoil – Tomorrow's Opportunity Today."

I wanted to barf.

"Maya, how nice to see you." The sleek voice sent shivers down my spine. I turned around slowly, facing Lady Keller.

"Hello," I said, cooly.

"I hear you've been enlightened," she said. "How lovely. Douglas is very happy."

I narrowed my eyes slightly. Enlightened. I didn't feel enlightened. "Why would Douglas care?" I asked.

"He cares a lot about our members," she said.

I wanted nothing more than to shout and throw one of those stupid signs at her. I wanted nothing to do with her. But all I did was stand there like a fool. She was Lady Keller, after all, Lumenoil royalty. As if that meant anything in the real world.

"Sweet, sweet, Maya," she said, almost purring. "So... reluctant." She walked past me with a smile to greet someone else.

I followed the stream of people toward one of the two entrances to the lecture hall, and I picked a seat near the back. I watched people finding their seats, listening to their excited talk.

"Oh, I know! I reached the third rank this week. At this pace I'll be doing my presentation in no time," a woman, sitting in front of me, said.

"Fantastic! I'm still on second, so it will be a while for me," the other woman said.

I snorted inwardly. Stupid ranks and levels that made no sense. The lights dimmed, and a woman, with a blonde hairdo that appeared to be the reason for the thinning of the ozone layer, stepped to the center of the small stage. She welcomed everyone, telling us that three people would be having their presentations today, and I was reminded of the paper Mom had been writing. This was apparently the next step toward her being a certified whatever. This must mean she would get an actual paycheck now and could repay Lumenoil.

The first woman out spoke about the power of incense, and how it had helped a couple of college students go from straight D's to straight A's. She spoke about it as if her findings held any scientific value. I seemed to be the only one who thought it was kind of ridiculous, because everyone else took notes and nodded in agreement. She eventually went into brain science, and I found myself listening closer. She spoke with such conviction that it was impossible not to believe her findings. Her words made sense... I shook my head. No. they didn't make sense. Nothing of this made any sense.

Mom was last. She looked nervous, carrying her papers and forcing a smile on her face. "Hello everybody," she said, her voice carrying in the speakers, which made sparking noises. "I'm here today to talk about the advantages of incense during self-improvement mediation..."

I barely listened as she talked. She wasn't as confident as the first two. Instead my eyes focused on Lady Keller who stood by the end of the stage, watching, and nodding at everything Mom said. When she was done, Lady Keller applauded enthusiastically.

When the presentations were over, and the audience had applauded once more, the lights were turned on and people started standing up. I did as well. I tried finding Mom in the crowd, but she was surrounded by people. Lady Keller stood by her side, smiling brightly, and talking to anyone that approached Mom.

Mom was beaming. Absolutely radiating.

I bit the inside of my lip, turning away from the crowd and walking out.

Mom had become Lumenoil property now.