Shadows & Stars

Chapter 17: Past.

~Henry's POV

I sat there sobbing in Alexander's arms. All of my past memories rushing back to me. I'm scared at what he would think of me when I told him. "We don't have to speak about it if you don't want to. Just know I'm here for you my boy." His word made me relax a little, but I was still crying. 

I pulled back and wiped my tears. "Uhm..." I struggled to find my words. Alexander took my hand and rubbed it with his thumb. "So about 2 years ago, before I had my glow up I was being bullied a lot. I was constantly pushed against a locker or hit in the stomach." A few more tears escaped my eye. "That caused me to fall victim to depression. My parents decided to send me to therapy." I already told him this but I left out a few details the previous time, aka the cuts.

"During the depression my head started to fight me constantly. My thoughts began to suffocate me. That is when I decided to cut for the first time. I thought that the pain from the cut would relieve me from my thoughts for a bit. It worked actually. With every cut there were more pain on my leg. My mind stopped attacking me and started to focus on the pain in my leg." 

I sniffed. "It felt good. My mind left me alone for a bit. It was a feeling I hadn't felt in a while. Although the pain in my leg was extreme, I loved having a clear mind again. That night I cut myself a lot because every time the pain calmed down, my mind turned on again. I kept cutting causing me to loose an excessive amount of blood."

I saw Alexander tear up as he listened to my story. "When I felt my body get weak I tried walking to my parents. When I entered their room I fell to the floor passed out. They rushed me to the hospital. I woke up to my parents sitting next to my bed and I had some injections in me."

Alexander wiped a tear from his eye. "After that incident, I had to go to another therapist who specializes with self harm patients." I wiped away a few more tears. "A few weeks ago, my mind started attacking me again. I felt pressure to be perfect for everyone else. In that moment I wanted to go back to my old self, aside from the depression. I thought to get my old self back, I'd have to fall back on old habits which led me to do 2 more cuts."

 Alexander stared at me with pain in his eyes. "Henry...What you went through is seriously not okay. No one deserves to feel that way. I hate seeing you like this. Just know that you are already perfect just the way you are." His words meant a lot to me. I hugged him again. "Promise me you wont ever hurt yourself again. Please Henry." He spoke into my shoulder. "I promise." 

After we wiped down our last tears he took me to a strange place. We drove quite far. We reached this road that led into the forest. The road is surrounded by trees. He parked to the side and opened my door for me. "Come." He took my hand and led me through the trees. I was a little freaked out but was soon calmed to the sight on the other side of the trees. 

There was a huge lake surrounded by trees as the forest went on. It was gorgeous. "Wow Alexander this place is beautiful." I gazed at the water. He put his hand on my face making me look at him. "Henry." He started. "Will you be mine?" I was shocked at his words.

"You are the most perfect guy out there. You make me feel things I've never felt before. When I'm around you I can express my self freely. Your eyes, smile, giggle and laugh brings me the most joy I've ever felt..." Before he could continue I placed my lips onto his. 

I pulled back, "Alexander you made that sound like a proposal." I giggled at him. He stared at me. "So!?" He nudged. "Yes Alexander, of course!" I could barely finish then he picked me up and hugged me. He held me in the air. I took my legs around his waist and my arms around his shoulders. Our lips collided once more. 

He walked me over to the car with me still in his arms. He got into his side with me still in his arms. He sat down with me straddling his lap. Our make out session began to heat up. He moved his hands down from my waist to my butt. 

⚠️Graphic!⚠️

He guided me to grind on his lap. I did so for a while. I could feel him get exited. "Alexander." I whispered into his ear. He let out a groan in pleasure. "Alexander. We can't." He stopped guiding me. "Why not?" He asked, his eyes filled with lust. "I mean, I can't. I'm still sore from the other night." His eyes looked sad. 

"I can still make it happen just without the actual happening though." I suggested. He let out a breath. "No, it's not gonna be the same." I wasn't about to let my man down. I took my lips to his ear. "Alexander." I whispered. I started grinding on him again. He through his head back and put his bottom lip underneath his top in pleasure. 

His hands fell to my butt again. He squeezed as he guided me. I got of his lap and went on my knees between his legs. His seat was pulled all the way back for space. I pulled down his pants and started to kiss his member through his underwear. I pulled it down revealing his fully erect shaft. 

Seeing it from this angle again made me wonder how it even fit in me. Seven and a half inches at least. I wouldn't be surprised if it was eight. I repeated my steps from the the last time. I kissed his tip and then spat on it. He groaned in pleasure as his head now looked down at me. I took his hand and put it on my head. "Go crazy." I whispered. His eyes lit up and he smirked at me with lust.

His hands immediately forced me down. He guided me at his desired pace. Every now and then he pushed me all the way down making me choke and gag with him in my throat. Every time he did that he lift his hips forcing him even deeper. 

His moans became uncontrollable. He soon pulled my head up and lift his shirt as he came on his abs. As he was still on his high I slightly got up and licked him clean. His hands were still in my hair as he got down from his high. 

"You're so fucking amazing." He looked me in the eyes. I got up and gave him a kiss before going to my seat, both of us still out of breath.