Angel or Demon

Dream or Nightmare

After a long day of lessons, and preparing for the next week of radio shows, Alastor decides to go ahead and take a small nap. He had been overexerting himself to such an extent that he almost fell asleep while taking notes from his lesson with Emily. Once she caught onto it, she immediately switched the lesson to self-care and upon doing so she made sure to let him know that he should focus on taking care of himself more often. A habit that he never really worked on, otherwise he wouldn't have become a serial killer to begin with. He didn't seek any advice, or seek help. He didn't seek out company. His only thoughts were focused on his work, his killings, and his self-loathing and self-guilt for losing his mother. He had options of going to church and starting there with his healing, but he never trusted churches and their institutions. Considering how the country of America came to be, he definitely did not see himself turning to the church for a damn thing. To him God wasn't present. If he was, then why did he leave him to suffer and be this sick person?

Hence why he never had faith in much of anything. The only thing he had faith in, was the memories of his mother and the faith that what he was doing was just.

However, considering that he made it to heaven, he did wonder if he could ask God as to why he wasn't around. But since he isn't necessarily present in heaven either, he may as well just forget about one day interrogating him.

Alastor lays in his bedroom curled up into a ball as his microphone rests at his bedside. He closes his eyes and allows for himself to wander into his dreams. Literal dreams and not nightmares for once. A wish that had been granted ever since he arrived.

At least, that is how it has been, but little did he know that that would soon change.

In his dream, he found himself sitting on a field of green. He was staring into the sky that appeared to be like a clear blue sea with the fewest of clouds around. It was peaceful, and the only sounds that could be heard in the background were the sounds of some soft jazz. He was most definitely in heaven. And for a few moments the dream would remain like this until the Radio screeches with a loud wave of static. His ears fall as he hurries to cover them completely. He sits up from laying back on the grass and looks around to spot the Radio that was playing on the ground beside him. His smile is gone as he stares at the device with his brow raised up in confusion.

"That's never happened before...."

But seeing as how everything became silent not even a second after the screech, he decides to just leave it be. He lays back down and continues to watch the sky. However, his nerves were just completely alerted to the sudden sound to the degree that it felt like he was expecting an attack any time soon. He sits up once more with the restlessness creeping over his soul as he looks around one more time feeling as though someone was watching him. His instincts as a serial killer were now beginning to come through rather clearly, which shouldn't be possible. He had clearly abandoned those feelings not that long ago, so why was he feeling it now? It could only mean one thing. Someone or something was definitely keeping an eye on him. And they weren't doing it out in the real world but in his dreams.

He stands up carefully and makes the decision to walk. But when he looks down the green grass disappears and instead is replaced with the edge of a cliff. He stiffens and steps back as the atmosphere began to suffocate him. It was tense and overwhelming to the point that he could cry. He turns around, only to be met with several elder like angels who were staring down at him with disgust.

'What is this?! What is going on?!'

He can see several other angels, including Sera with looks of disappointment and fear. That's when he looks to his other side and sees another angel he didn't recognize. He was a bit shorter than the others, and he was defending a taller woman that stood beside him. Her hair about as long as her body and colored in blonde. The Angel's hair of blonde, but more golden like the sun's rays on a summer morning. He seemed to be agitated and in distress as if he was trying to argue back against the other angels.

'Wait....is this....Lucifer? And is that...Lilith?'

There's so many things happening before his eyes, too many things to keep up with. Memories that shouldn't belong in his head. Memories that he shouldn't be seeing at all. Feelings that he shouldn't be feeling. Tears swell up in his eyes as his natural body begins to react to the belittling of his character. It was like watching several sets of older adults ganging up on the bad egg of the family. A feeling he understood. But for some reason it felt like he was the one being yelled at and it was angering him so much. He holds his hands to his head as he was begging silently for it all to stop.

But when he looks up he sees the angel be casted down to Hell. He watches the pain his eyes as he fell with several angelic spears piercing through him as he does his best to protect his lover. The tears that were falling were like little gems and crystals as his halo shatters. All the while he never let's go of the woman. He holds onto her for dear life. That's when he realizes that he himself was also falling. When he looks down to Hell he can see its beginning look.

It was like looking into an abyss of darkness and brutality. He lands on his own two feet, but watches as the angel crashes into the ground with great force. Then he hears it. Nothing but screaming.

He looks to the crater as he sees the Angel's appearance change drastically. His cries were unbearable to hear. The cries of an angel just dying and being reborn into something that one would describe as purely demonic. His eyes are red, his hands changing to claws, his wings changing from their pure white state like pearls, to just a standard pale white that could match his skin tone. But the inner workings of his wings were shedding and he could tell that it was painful as can be. The tearing of feathers is painful for a bird, so why couldn't it be painful for an angel? He screams and cries while his lover tried to console him as the feathers regenerated but with their colors having changed to a blood red color. His head in throbbkng pain as he leans up on his knees as a massive set of horns form from his forehead and a flame bursts from in between them with a yellow snake encircling around it with a small apple sitting in between the head and tail representing his mideed. Once the transformation is over he just continues to sob.

Alastor wants to go over and help them both as he felt as though the punishment was so drastic and hurtful. He doesn't believe that the angels know how painful it is to fall in such a manner. He doesn't believe they ever asked thousands of years later.

The images suddenly vanish leaving him in the dark. Again he feels it. The feeling of being watched, but this time it was stronger. He turns around to see a giant read eye staring back at him.

'It's unfair....and you can see it....can't you? You have doubts. Question them. You're not satisfied. Satisfy yourself. Is this really a place that you belong to? I can show you more than you think. Just say yes to me.'

Alastor shoots up in his bed from his dream with his breath completely taken away. His panting is so unbearable and filled with pain to the point that he felt tears threatening to shed over his already soaked cheeks. He stands up and rushes to the bathroom and stands before a mirror, but when he does he sees another version of himself. This version of himself is dressed in red, and is smiling widely with sharp yellow teeth, black like gums, black and red eyes, long antlers, and the 'x' on his forehead glowing with green colors.

He gasps and steps back as he crashes into the wall behind him with sweat dripping down his face. It was exactly the same thing that he would face when he was alive.

He would look into the mirror only to see a crazed and bloody killer with a massive smile.

He covers his face and laughs madly before changing it all into sobs of agony.

'Do I really belong here...? Is it a mistake to be here? Is heaven a lie? What's going on with me?!'