the one that got away, zayn malik

chapter four

THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY
CHAPTER FOUR
10th of october 2012

"AH the glamour! welcome to backstage at the radio 1 teen awards. i'm here... in a toilet. a very showbiz toilet, though. i'm going to be inviting some guests down to answer questions from this, the radio 1 tombola. it's an archive of every question ever asked by a radio 1 dj to any guest, complete with the original answers, which i definitely haven't just made up myself... so let's see how the stars get on!"

matt calls out, "one direction, hello!" they all respond in a cacophony of different greetings, all squished together in the tiny space.

"did you ever dream, when your journey began, that you'd be here backstage at wembley... in the toilets for the teen awards?" matt asks with a grin.

"i dreamed about it every day!" harry replies, grinning widely.

"been stuck here for hours!" louis adds dramatically, looking around as if trying to find a way out.

meanwhile, liam is sat on the floor, awkwardly wedged between their legs. "are you alright down there, liam? can you at least show us a hand?" matt jokes.

liam waves from the floor, "this is the pit!"

"so, as you can see, we've got the majestic radio 1 tombola, containing every question ever asked by any dj. niall, give it a spin! dip in, pull out a question, and we'll see how it goes," matt prompts.

"dip in, lad!" louis encourages, slapping niall on the back as he spins the wheel with exaggerated enthusiasm.

niall spins it and pulls out a question, handing it to matt. "when did you last accidentally offend someone?" matt reads aloud. "this was asked by jameela jamil to one show presenter matt baker."

liam raises his hand from the floor, prompting zayn to hold the mic toward him. "go for it, liam, give him the mic."

"yesterday," liam admits sheepishly. "i didn't realize what day it was, and one of the contestants walked past me looking a bit sad. i thought, 'man, just enjoy it!' but he'd just been kicked off the show, so i probably offended him there."

"that's better than matt baker's answer," matt chuckles. "he said he upset his co-presenter, alex jones, by asking her to stop doing that silly voice all the time. apparently, she took it very badly."

"classic matt," niall laughs, shaking his head.

"alright, niall, another question, please!" matt prompts.

"yes, sir!" niall responds, spinning the tombola again with a flourish.

"that's a lovely spinning action. it's almost rehearsed," matt teases.

niall pulls out another question and reads, "if you were a puppeteer, what voice would you give your puppet? this was asked by greg james to andy murray."

"oh, i'd probably give it something a bit weird, like..." zayn starts, imitating a bizarre voice, "hello, mate!"

louis chimes in, doing his own ridiculous high-pitched voice, "alright, love? fancy a cuppa?"

everyone bursts into laughter, and matt points to niall and harry. "niall? harry? what about you?"

"mine would be something ridiculous, like a leprechaun," niall says, adopting an exaggerated irish accent. "top o' the mornin' to ya!"

harry leans back with a mischievous grin, "i'd go more low-key. something really slow and confused... uhhh, what's going on?"

olive jumps in, "oh, i'd probably just do a really bad british accent." she attempts an over-the-top posh accent. "terribly sorry, old chap, i seem to have lost my way."