Tayvis | OneShots

I'm The Problem, It's Me

TW: ed, bullying

Taylor:

I sighed, as I entered Travis' house, closing the door behind me. Tonight had been amazing, but also extremely exhausting. My friends had taken me out for dinner and we've had a lot of fun. The only thing that ruined it a little was the thousands of people who had been waiting in front of the restaurant, trying everything to get pictures of me. No matter what I tried to avoid paparazzi, they always ended up finding out my location. It was crazy to me how far some people were going, just to get some bad quality pictures.

"I'm home baby" I said, knocking on my boyfriend's bedroom door. I hadn't officially moved in with Travis yet, but I spent most of the time at his place. "Come in baby girl" I heard Travis' sleepy voice coming out of his bedroom. "Hey" I whispered, when I saw Travis laying in his bed, smiling at me. "I missed you" Travis said, while I took off my coat and my shoes. "I missed you too" I quickly undressed myself, before I put on my pajamas. Travis was watching me getting changed, smirking. I knew exactly what that smirk meant.

"Sorry Trav, not tonight. I'm too tired" I told him, as I crawled on his bed, laying down next to Travis who wrapped his strong arms around me immediately. "That's okay baby" Travis assured me. He never pushed me to do anything I wasn't comfortable with and I was very grateful for that, since people hadn't always been treating me like that. "Thank you" I told him, as he pulled me closer. Travis mumbled something, but I was too tired to hear what he was saying.

-

I woke up in the next morning, still a little sleepy, since last night had knocked me out so much. Turning my head to the side, I saw Travis laying next to me, still asleep. It was Sunday, so I didn't want to wake him up yet. Reaching out to the small counter next to our bed, I grabbed my phone and unplugged it from the charger. It was 9am now which wasn't super late. Still very tired, I decided to stay in bed and check out some posts on Instagram.

Usually I barely found time to do that, but I had a day off today. When I opened Instagram, a cat video popped up on my for you page. I smiled to myself and watched the video, before I liked it. Cat videos comforted me so much and I loved watching them. At the end of the day I'd always be the childless cat lady and that was okay for me. 

I kept scrolling for a bit, until a picture made me stop. It was me, walking out of the restaurant with my friends last night. The picture was very unflattering, pointing out my recently gained pounds. My belly was poking out a bit, because of the food I had eaten in that restaurant. The longer I stared at the picture, the fatter I looked. I swallowed hard, trying to hold back the tears that started forming in my eyes. The caption said: "Is Taylor Swift getting fat?"

Yes, she is. They're right. I had stopped watching my weight and this was the consequence. I'm fat. I took a deep breath, before I opened the comments. Maybe some fans would stand up for me. 

User: Looks like that football player impregnated her
User: She's so fat
User: Kelce is probably just dating her for the money
User: Fat bitch
User: She's having his babyyy

I closed Instagram, not able to read the rest of these comments. Fat. Tears started running down my cheeks and I started sobbing, as I put my phone back on the counter, running to the bathroom. I locked the bathroom door, before I sank to the floor, my back resting against the door. Heavy sobs went through my body and I started shaking. This can't be happening again. My body had been so perfect. Why had I stopped watching my weight, why why why? 

After I had calmed down a bit, I got up from the floor. I took off all my clothes, before I stepped in front of the mirror. The body I was looking at was unattractive. I looked fat. Travis was probably so tired of seeing it. The tears came back, as I thought about Travis. Travis was the love of my life, my everything, and I was just his fat girlfriend. God, he must be so tired. I kept staring at my body, unable to move, while silent tears were streaming down my face. 

"Taylor?" Travis knocked on the door. I had no idea how much time had past since I'd lock myself in the bathroom. "Are you okay?" His voice sounded concerned. "Yes, give me a second" I tried my best to wipe my tears away, but I had been crying for too long. My entire face was red and sore from the tears. I grabbed some loose sweatpants and one of Travis' hoodies and put them on, trying to cover up my fat body. Travis didn't deserve that. 

"Hey baby girl, what's wrong?" Travis asked, as I unlocked the door, looking up at him. He was worried, that was obvious, but I couldn't tell him. He knew I was too fat anyway. "Nothing. I'm fine" I lied, forcing a little smile. "Taylor-" Travis started, but the way I looked at him made him realize I didn't want to talk right now. "How about we get some breakfast, huh?" He changed the subject.

Although I tried my best to hold back my tears, they immediately came back, when Travis mentioned food. My body started shaking again and only Travis' tight hug could stop me from sinking to the floor again. "Oh my God Taylor, please talk to me" Travis begged. He let go of me for a second to look into my eyes. His eyes were filled with tears too. I nodded, wiping the tears away. Travis deserved an explanation.

We sat down on the couch, after we had walked downstairs. "Do you want some tea?" Travis offered, but I shook my head. I couldn't risk getting anything in my stomach. It would just make me gain more weight. "Alright" Travis sighed, but didn't ask again. "Taylor, what happened? It breaks my heart seeing you like this" Travis asked with concern in his voice. 

I blinked away the tears, before I grabbed my phone, unlocked it and clicked on the Instagram post again. Without saying a word, I handed Travis my phone. "Oh Taylor" Travis gasped, shocked about what the comments said about my body. He got it now. 

"Taylor, I'm so sorry you had to read all that stuff. Those people in the comments are so cruel, but they're wrong Taylor. They judge you based off one fucking picture and think it's okay. Baby, you are so beautiful. Your body is fucking perfect and there's nothing I'd ever want you to change about it. I love you so much Taylor. I love every single curve of your body and even your imperfections. Do you really think I care about the fact you have put on weight? Taylor, it is great you managed to do that and I'm so proud of how far you've come. Don't let them ruin that. They are no ones who think they can hide behind their comments, but you are Taylor Swift, the prettiest woman in the world and I really wish you could see that"

Warm tears ran down my cheeks, as I listened to Travis' words. The way he'd said them made me believe him. Travis loved me. Travis loved my imperfections. And God, I loved Travis. "I love you so much" I sobbed, crawling over to my boyfriend. Travis had also started crying while he had been talking, so we both just laid there, Travis' arms holding me tightly. We had a good cry together and it just felt comfortable. 

"Tay?" Travis broke the silence. "Hm?" "Please don't read Instagram comments about yourself anymore" "I won't" I promised him. It was probably healthier for me, even though I would kind of miss the sweet comments. "And please get some breakfast with me" Travis lowered his eyes at mine, begging me to eat something. I slowly nodded and Travis smiled at me. "I'm so proud of you baby" He lifted me up, carrying me in the kitchen, and we ate breakfast together.

-

A/N: I'm thinking about writing a Tayvis story...