Ignorance Is Bliss

9 . Marion

Something was off.

I knew I easily got paranoid about stuff like this, but maybe this time my gut feeling was right. The thing was, that Asa hadn't been hanging out with me as much as before. Thinking about it like that, made me feel stupid. But shouldn't I be worried, if someone that used to spend every day with me, suddenly stops without warning? When he did spend time with me, however, he made my time worthwhile. As if he was making up for all the other days he hadn't given me attention.

I hadn't spoken to him about how I was feeling, out of fear he'd be offended. I didn't want to make him feel like he wasn't putting any effort into this relationship. But surely with the amount of free time he had, he would be with me on daily basis? It felt like he was spending his time with someone else.

Dad caught on to what was happening. Which was surprising, considering the amount of time he wasn't present. But seeing as I was spending more time at home nowadays it kind of made sense. The motherly instinct, as you would call it, or in this case a fatherly instinct.

"So," he looked at me above the rim of his glasses. "Anything new?"

I shoved the remains of my toast in my mouth, avoiding his eyes. He knew something was up but didn't dare ask me about Asa. I told him about Asa as soon as we made it official. Normally I always told him what was going on in my life, because I used to tell my mum about everything, so when she wasn't here anymore my dad took on that motherly role.

"Not really," I mumbled whilst still chewing. I finally looked at him and realized that he was waiting for me to elaborate. I sighed, knowing what he was waiting for.

"We're still together, okay?" My voice raised automatically, but it didn't seem to concern him, judging by his raised eyebrows.

He took a sip of his tea. "I didn't say you weren't."

"You did. With your eyes."

Dad looked amused.

"So, what's the problem?"

"I don't know," I chewed on my lip. "It's just..."

"Just what?"

I looked at the floor, embarrassed. I felt ashamed about saying my concerns aloud, but it somehow slipped out.

"When we first met," I started. "We spent every minute together. But it's been a month and now we only hang out every few days. Something changed and I don't know what it is."

Again, he waited for me to say more before speaking. It must've been some sort of psychological trick.

"I know it sounds stupid. But now that I've noticed it, I can't seem to stop thinking about it."

He set down his mug.

"It isn't stupid. Why don't you discuss this with him? I'm sure he'll understand."

I nodded, knowing that there was no way I would tell him this. I told myself that it didn't matter either way. I'm sure things would change after a few weeks.

Raven wasn't on the bus when I got in. I was pretty sure, that she had her classes at the same time as mine. And she wasn't the type that was ever late for anything. I hoped she wasn't getting herself in trouble. Lately, it seemed that she was practically asking for it.

There was no sign of her in front of the university either, which made me think that she probably caught a cold or something similar. After all, it had been raining for weeks up until today. As per usual I kept my eye out for Asa so that we could walk together to our classes. He had this weird need to do that every morning, that had now become a routine. Weird, I know. In a way it was adorable, but such an effort to wait for him if he hadn't shown up yet.