Tainted Love

Chapter 9

Raven's POV

"Wow, this hotel room is huge!" I gush to Spencer as we enter our suite.

"I know right," he chuckles. I walk over to the bedding area to find there's only one bed. I bite my lip and turn to him.

"I guess I'll take the couch." I mumble.

"You don't have to! I can take the couch." He fiddles with his hair.

"You don't have to sleep on the couch. This is your room after all and-"

"You can't sleep on the couch either, look how tiny it is." I purse my lips and let my hair down from my terribly messy bun.

"I guess the bed is big enough for the both of us." He nods and heads for the bathroom.

"I'm gonna take a quick shower." I take this time to just change. Showers are way too much of an effort for me. I flop on the large bed and dial Brian's number. Two rings is all it took for him to answer.

"Hey, Raven." He greets in a sweet voice.

"Hey, babe. How're things over there?" I cuddle up in the sheets longing for Brian's presence instead of a cold phone.

"Fine, I guess. Zim and Ash visited. I have to babysit Seth tomorrow for them." I smile at the thought of Brian holding a baby in his arms. I slightly envy Ash's family. The thought of babies whirled my stomach. Me of all people, fail to have a child. I shake my head to rid the thought.

"That's cute. What are your plans to do with him?"

"Probably just take a walk to the park. Apparently babies sleep a lot, so not many plans for the child."

"Yeah, that's true." There's pause between us. Not an awkward pause but as if he needs to spit something out. As I just hear his gentle breathing and finally him taking a breath to speak.

"What if he was our child?" He whispers more to himself. He grew silent knowing what had just escaped his mouth.

A child? Our fucking child? It's my fault isn't it? In his voice is almost seems as if I were the guilty one. More and more thoughts, coming this way and that way crowd my head. This sets me off. I begin to cry hysterically. He tries to calm me down with gentle coos but this only pisses me off.

"Sorry I can't produce a fucking kid, okay?!" I scream into the phone and hang up. I toss it over to the nightstand.

"Uh," I look up to see Spencer in confusion.

"You h-heard that?" I ask embarrassed. He nods slowly. My cheeks begin to heat up. I wipe my tears and he carefully comes closer to me.

"What happened? I just heard you crying then you screamed something." He crawls beside me and puts his arm around me. I lean into his touch.

"It's nothing." He doesn't respond knowing that's just code words for 'I don't want to talk about it'.

"Whoever is making you upset like that doesn't deserve to even talk to you." The words quietly come out of his mouth twisted with disgust. I bite my lip. Because in actuality, that man does deserve to talk to me. I married him for gods sake, if I just stopped talking to him that would not end well. In the moment now though, I do feel as if I don't ever want to talk to him. I didn't want to talk to him yet the lack of phone calls after my hang up just stirred me up.

"Let's just go to bed." I mumble. He gives me a squeeze and removes his arm. Hopefully this will just die down tomorrow. I tuck myself in and scoot a little closer to Spencer. I feel him shift closer to me as well. I wrap my arm around him and cry softly. He wraps his arms around me and tired to calm me until I finally give into sleep.