Tainted Love

Chapter 11

Raven's POV

I stare out the window of an early morning as we drive over to our next venue. Everyone went to bed, it was a long night last night. Going on week three of the tour, it almost seems to never end and going by way too fast. Still no phone calls from Brian and none from me neither. I'm startled by someone throwing a magazine in my lap. I look up to see a pissed Spencer.

"Cover." Is all he says and he dismisses himself. I stare down at an obvious picture of Spencer and I kissing. I take a deep breath and interrupted by the lump in my throat of another sob. I try my best to not cry. I even repeat to myself to not cry. The title of the headline going straight to the point.

'Marilyn Manson marries a cheater!'

A cheater is what I am now. A dirty cheater. The redness of my cheek of where Spencer slapped me proves it. I deserved it as well. Brian loves me. I love Brian. One argument and I go running to another man. A fucking dirty whore on the run! Who am I going to go after next? Maybe instead of kissing them I should just fuck them in a parking lot! I tear off the cover and rip it up. I open the window and release it to the wind. I watch as my fault flies away. I wish it was that easy. I wish I could just blow it away.

"Fucking hell." I find a mess of unread messages on my phone. From everyone but the man I married. I wish he can just call and get it over with. I want him to yell. I want him to scream. Anything. I need to hear from him.

"One more week, huh? This tour is going by fast." Jonathan takes a seat next to me and gazes outside.

"Yeah," I mutter. I've never really got to know any of the guys. Ever since the incident with Spencer and I I've kept my distance from everyone. No one knew what happened to us. We were friends then we just stopped talking. I hear the guys at night when they talk amongst each other predicting we had some kind of relationship failure. I hoped that was the case for me. No, I'm a girl who cheated on her husband, a girl who's on the cover of every magazine, and a girl who failed to give birth to a child.

"Why's your cheek all red?" I cover my mark with my hair and give him a smile.

"Nothing, just fell off my bed." He scrunches his eyebrows together and nods slowly.

"It must hurt."

"Not really." In all honesty, it doesn't hurt. More as a reminder of my mistake.

"What are you doing up so early anyway?" He finally asks. I turn my head to the window.

"Not tired." Is what I can only say out loud. It's almost impossible to sleep now. My brain is constantly screaming different thoughts. My head is practically buzzing every second.

"I heard you throwing up this morning, you okay?"

"Yeah, I think I'm getting sick." Well, there's one honest response. I feel my body getting weak, and I practically throw up my guts often.

"Try to get better, just one more week and you can go home and get some rest." He rubs my shoulder and gets up. "I guess I'll go back to bed. I suggest you should too-"

"I want to go home now." The words practically spill out of my mouth. Instead of a demand, it was more of a plea. A pathetic plea.

"Well, I'm not in charge-"

"Take me home." I say louder. He seems at shock of my sudden request. Almost confused at why. Why now, why so sudden yet late?

"I'll call Jeff." Is all he says and disappears to his bunk. I cross my fingers in hopes he's not lying. I hate liars then again I'm a liar. A cheater is also known as a liar. Before I go deeper into my thought I rush to my room. I begin to pack everything. I sit on my bed and wait for them to pull up to my house as if it's down the road.