THE LOST DOG ' s. black

[17] have yourself a merry little christmas

The warmth of the fireplace flickered in the dimly lit living room of Grimmauld Place, where the holiday cheer felt forced amidst the weight of impending danger. It was Christmas Day, but the air was thick with unspoken tension.

I watched as the members of the Order exchanged gifts and laughter, their merriment a stark contrast to the turmoil brewing within her.

As I absently picked at a half-eaten biscuit, the door swung open, revealing Sirius. He stormed in, his expression dark and stormy, a palpable energy crackling around him. I looked up, instinctively sensing that something was very wrong.

“Can we talk?” he demanded, his voice low and edged with frustration.

I hesitated, glancing at the others before nodding. They slipped into the adjacent room, where the laughter faded into an uneasy silence.

Once they were alone, Sirius leaned against the wall, his arms crossed tightly over his chest. “I’m sick of this,” he said, his voice thick with anger. “Sick of these missions, sick of the secrecy, and especially sick of pretending everything’s fine.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, my heart racing as I sensed the storm brewing.

“You know exactly what I mean!” he snapped, stepping closer, his frustration boiling over. “Every time we’re out there, every time I see you in danger, it drives me insane! And you act like it’s just another day in the life. It’s not, Cheshire!”

I felt my pulse quicken, caught off guard by the intensity of his words. “I’m doing my job, Black. You know that. We all are!”

“That’s the problem! You’re too damn casual about it!” he shot back, his voice rising as he closed the distance between us.

He reached out, gripping my shoulders, his touch sending an electric jolt through me. “Like you don’t even care what happens. Like you don’t realize the risks we’re taking! I can’t stand it!”

I crossed my arms defensively, but the heat from his hands made it hard to focus. “And what do you want me to do? Curl up in a corner and hide? I can’t just sit back while the world is falling apart!”

“This isn’t about that!” he roared, his eyes flashing with fury and something deeper—fear. “This is about you. About us. You can’t just keep pretending that everything is fine between us when we both know it’s not!”

“What are you talking about?” I challenged, trying to keep my voice steady, even as I felt the heat rising in my cheeks. “You think this is easy for me?”

He stepped closer, the anger in his gaze shifting to desperation as he lowered his voice. “I care about you, Eloise! I’ve cared about you since the moment I stumbled into your life. And watching you throw yourself into danger without a second thought is tearing me apart!”

I felt my breath catch in my throat, the heat of his words igniting something within me. “You think I don’t care? You think I’m not scared?”

"You told me the night I arrived.. we just had to find a new Time-Turner so you could bring me back.." Sirius spoke firmly. "You had all the time in the world when you arrived here.. and Merlin knows this house is full of magical artifacts.. why didn't you?"

I went speechless at his words, forgetting what I was about to say.

"I.. maybe there was a part of me that didn't want you to go."

“Then why are you pushing me away?” he pressed, his voice now raw and filled with emotion. “Why do you keep pretending like this doesn’t matter? You think I can just stand by and watch while you act like you don’t have feelings for me?”