What It Cost

8-Noah

Noah watched as Lily walked as close to the edge as she could without risking falling and stared down at the city below her. His heart felt like it was about to break through his ribs it was pounding so hard, his breath coming in short spurts. He hated when she did that. One wrong move and she was gone forever. Clearly that part of her hadn't changed over the last five years. Always pushing her limits. Putting herself in danger.

"Lilith. Come away from the edge, please." He tried and failed to hide the fear in his voice.

"It's fine, Noah. I've got a fall zone."

"Not enough of one. Please, Bambi?" Noah begged, his palms sweaty. She was hell bent on giving him a heart attack. Had to be.

Lilith slowly turned around, making sure he saw her roll her eyes before she walked back towards the bench. And no matter how much he wanted to be frustrated with her, he couldn't help but smile at her sass. God, he had missed her sassy fucking attitude. Missed the way she rolled her eyes when he stopped her from doing something that could get her hurt or worse. The way she would always have some quip at the ready when he pushed her buttons just right.

She turned around, standing beside him, gazing out at the city from a much safer distance. He watched as she took a long, slow, deep breath in, the tension leaving her shoulders as she exhaled just as slowly. There it was. His favorite thing about coming up there with her. That one breath she would take where all her stress seemed to just melt away. Sure, it was a busy trail, but it had the most breathtaking view of the city and she had instantly fallen in love with it when they first moved out there.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking," he started.

"Thinking? You?" She feigned shock, a slight smile curving her lips.

"Brat." He laughed, nudging her with his elbow. "But, yes. Remember when we first came up here?"

"You mean when I had to persuade you with the promise of letting you teach me to play guitar?" She side eyed him, wary of where he was headed with this. "And then you decided going on this hike wasn't so bad after all when you saw this killer view?"

Noah smirked, looking down at her. The guitar lessons never did actually go anywhere. Every time he had tried it turned into them doing absolutely unholy things that would make even Satan himself blush. Which, now that he thought about it, may have been entirely her intentions to get out of it. There was no way someone needed that much hand on help with a guitar.

"Guitar lessons. Sure." He watched as her cheeks turned pink and had to bite back the laugh that nearly escaped him. "You have this thing you do when you're up here. There's always me begging you to step away from the edge, you pretend to be annoyed by it. And then you take this almost terrifyingly long breath. By the end of that breath it's almost like all your stress is gone." He looked back out at the city. "That's why I kept bringing you back here."

He let his words hang in the air, letting her digest them. Honestly, he wasn't entirely sure why he felt like he had to tell her that. That hadn't been a part of the plan. The plan had been to come back up there with her so he could selfishly spend some time with her. And he knew being at hers and Sadie's place or his place would be too intimate of a setting for her right then. No way would she have agreed to that.

"I, uhm, didn't know that." Her voice was quiet, just barely loud enough for him to hear her.

"I guess now you do."

He looked back down at her, shocked to find her looking up at him, she'd tears threatening to spill over. There he went, making her fucking cry again. Like an asshole.

"Fuck. I'm sorry. I'm not trying to make you cry. Goddamn it. We can, uh, head back now if you want."

Lilith shook her head, quickly wiping her tears away. Rather than answer him she moved over to the bench, sitting down to look out over the city a little longer. She patted the bench next to her, a silent invitation for him to sit with her. One he happily obliged. Carefully he leaned back, stretching his arm along the back of the bench behind her.

"Noah?"

"Hmm?" He hummed his response, keeping his eyes fixed on the city below them.

"Why did you bring me here today?"

"Honest answer? Because I'm being selfish. I wanted to spend some time with you, and didn't think you would be up for a movie night." He chuckled, jumping slightly when she scooted closer, fitting herself against his side, leaning her head on his shoulder.

"Thank you. Even if it was for selfish reasons."

The two of them sat there in a somewhat comfortable silence, neither feeling the need to speak. Just a quiet understanding shaping around them. Somehow this one small, totally selfish act had gotten him to a point where maybe he could really start to make amends with her. And no way was he about to ruin it by sticking his foot in his mouth.

"When did you figure out the thing with the guitar lessons?"

"Just a couple minutes ago." Noah laughed, realizing just how gullible he had been.

"Seriously? It's not like I was sneaky about it!" Lilly laughed, that deep, came from her soul laugh that he loved so much.

"Listen. I'm a guy. I was just fucking thrilled that you somehow still wanted to have sex with me."

The two of them quickly dissolved into a fit of laughter, neither of them able to stop as long as the other was laughing. Maybe sometimes being a little selfish wasn't so bad, after all. It got them here, didn't it?