clinical depression is the more severe form of depression, also known as major depression or major depressive disorder (MDD)
in which is joe is lost and he doesn't know where to go.
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joes depression would turn on and off like someone was flicking a switch. he doesn't understand what happened to make him like this. he has happy one month and then sad for 2 months. he's become accustomed to this comfortable yet confusing schedule.
plan everything he can, for that one month, and for those 2 months, he just stays in his room. doing nothing, but sleeping, and really not eating. he thinks no ones picked up the schedule but caspar has. late in the night, around 2:30am, joe would still be asleep, he didn't come out of his room, and he was not eating.
this had been going on for about 4 years, since he started his YouTube channel. he's gotten slightly better since he's moved in with caspar. but nothing lasts forever.
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on the eighth day into his 2 month schedule, caspar rang zoë.
"hey caspar," she said chirpily.
"hey," he replied.
zoë frowned, hearing the slight sadness in his voice.
"what's wrong, casp?" she asked. caspar sighed, not feeling like correcting her. joe was the only one that could call him that.
"i think somethings wrong with joe," he said. "i've picked up on a schedule with him. one month hes all giggles and shits, but the next two months, he's locked himself in his room. he hardly ever comes out to eat, and his schedule for uploading videos is pretty much gone." zoë nodded but then realized caspar couldn't see her.
"he never did tell you did he?" she said to him.
"told me what?" he questioned.
"you should come over, caspar. it's not easy to say over the phone."
"i'll be over in an hour."
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caspar knocked on the door and heard alan (nala) bark.
"nala!" he heard zoë call. "quiet."
the door opened. "hey caspar, come on in."
caspar smiled and come in. "hey zoë," he heard alfie. he rounded the corner.
"where's the- oh, hey, caspar." he exclaimed. alfie looked at zoë in confusion. zoë shook her head as if to say 'dont worry about it'.
"so do you mind telling me whats been going on with joe?" he asked. zoë nodded and moved out of the way.
she closed the door, she nodded her head towards the living room.
"so im gonna guess that you've picked up in a schedule, happy one month, the next 2 sad." she said bluntly. he nodded.
"in joes senior year, i had noticed him being sad; not the sad like if someone had died, it was a type of depressing sad. he was hardly eating and he would never come out of his room, even during the school year."
"so i took him to the doctors," she continued, slight tears in her eyes. "we got the results a couple of days later. it turns our he has clinical depression. clinical depression is the more severe form of depression, also known as major depressive disorder."
caspar nodded, knowing what clinical depression is. "so is that what's been happening when he disappears to his room." he said. zoë nodded.
"well," she said, standing up and wiped her tears. "now that you're here, would you like to film a collab with me?"
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caspar knocked on joes door. "Jojo?" he said quietly. "can i come in?" no answer. "im coming in jojo." caspar opened the door, entered, and closed the door.
he walked over and sat on joes bed. "ugh," joe groaned. "get out and leave me to my misery."
caspar stood up and went to the other side. "y'know staying in your room wont help this." he told him. joe turned towards caspar slowly.
"'s been working for me since high school, caspy," he mumbled. "you can help me with this." caspar sat on his bed now.
"what do you mean?" caspar cocked his head to the side.
"you can get your ass over here, and give me sone cuddles." he demanded. he tried to sit up but couldn't, due to not eating a lot.
"sit back down, you're too weak." caspar said. "and yes, I'll bring my ass over there and give you cuddles." joe opened his arms but caspar put them down. caspar wrapped his arms around joes waist, and joe nuzzled his head into caspars neck.
"y'know, i always wondered what death would feel like. if you would have a slow death, a fast death, or a painful death, or even a painfully slow death. y'know?" he said, yawning. "but with you," he started. "i just want to stay forever."
caspar smiled. "jojo, your forever is all i need. "
can life fuck me over anymore than it already has
love u all even if you hate yourself love yourself (??? sorry bad at advice)
word count 823 words
