HIDING HIS DAUGHTER (TAGLISH)

CHAPTER 7

ANGELA'S POV

"WELCOME TO THE PHILIPPINES!"
Masiglang bati sa amin ni Althea nang makababa kami ng eroplano, hawak-hawak niya yung kamay ko nang mahigpit. Muntik na akong mapahinto kasi biglang kumirot yung dibdib ko – parang may kung ano na pumipilit pumasok sa puso ko na ayaw kong tanggapin. Pero kinaya ko lang, ngumiti ako kahit alam kong pilit lang 'yon.

"Mommy, is there something wrong po?" Tanong niya sa 'kin ng mapansin siguro na medyo nanlaki yung mata ko o medyo nanlamig ako bigla. Yung boses niya sobrang bait at mahinahon, parang alam niyang may kakaiba sa 'kin ngayon.

"No baby, but I think your Mommy is not feeling well" sumagot naman si Kuya Adrian bago pa ako makasagot. Kilala niya kasi ako ng sobra-sobra – kahit konting kilos ko pa lang alam na niya kung ano nararamdaman ko. Napailing na lang ako, kasi totoo naman pero ayaw kong iparamdam kay Althea na may problema.

"Mommy are you okay na po?" Althea asked again, still holding my hand. Her eyes were exactly like her dad's – Jaiden's eyes. Every time I look at her eyes, it's like cold water being dumped all over me.

"Yes baby, Mommy's okay na talaga," I said with a smile, even though deep inside, it felt like a huge rock was sitting on my chest the moment I heard her voice. I touched her cheek – still warm from the plane ride and the heat coming from our trip all the way from the US.

"Are you really sure po, Mommy? You look so pale kasi," she asked once more, and I knew she wouldn't stop until she got the answer she wanted. But I couldn't let her see I was struggling, especially since it's been three years since she last came home to the Philippines after Jaiden and I split up.

"Sure as can be baby! Promise 'yan," sabi ko pa rin, pero napansin kong nanginginig na yung kamay kong hawak sa pisngi niya. Kaya tumango na lang ako ng paulit-ulit para hindi na siya magtanong pa – kasi kung magsasalita pa ako, baka maluha na ako sa harap niya.

Ang kulit naman talaga nitong bata 'to… manang mana ka talaga sa tatay mong si Jaiden! Lahat ba talaga ng bagay, pati na yung kakulitan, kay Jaiden mo namana? Bakit hindi na lang yung ugali ko ang namana mo ha? Iniisip ko habang nakatingin sa mukha ni Althea na puno ng pag-aalala para sa 'kin. Parang biglang bumigat yung dibdib ko ulit – ang hirap palang makita yung anak mong nag-aalala para sa 'yo, lalo na't alam mong ikaw mismo yung dahilan kung bakit hindi ka makapagpakita ng tunay mong nararamdaman.

Kuya Adrian just picked Althea up so she’d stop asking me so many questions. I followed them as we walked to his car. While we were walking, I could feel people staring at me – maybe they noticed how breathless I was getting, or maybe they saw the tears I was holding back in my eyes. I just forced myself to look away, at the sky that was blue but covered with clouds – just like my life right now.

When we got to the car, we hopped in right away. I sat in the backseat with Althea while Kuya Adrian drove. As we headed to my mom's house, I just sat quietly staring out the window. I looked at Althea who was smiling as she watched all the houses and people on the street – like she was seeing a whole new world for the first time.

"Mommy, pipinta po ba tayo kewla Mommy La?" Biglang sabi ng anak ko, at natawa naman si Kuya Adrian sa pagkakamali niyang pagbigkas. Sa totoo lang, natawa rin ako ng konti.

"Hindi baby, pupunta tayo hindi pipinta. At doon hindi kewla, ha?” Pagtatama ko sa kanya nang mahinahon. Hinawakan ko pa yung kamay niya para sabihin na hindi ako galit – baka isipin niya na mali siya at mapasama siya.

"Mommy why is it so hard to speak Tagalog po? Spanish is way easier to pronounce than Tagalog, promise!" Sabi niya sakin, at bigla akong nagulat – hindi ko alam na marunong na siyang magsalita ng Spanish.