The Insanity of Tokyo's Shadows | Manjiro Sano

◇chapter nine◇

It had been a few weeks since Akiko had returned to Japan. The initial excitement over her return had faded, and daily life at the university had settled in. Despite the new experiences and acquaintances, Akiko often felt like an observer in her own life. A shadow from the past followed her, and she couldn’t shake the feeling that a part of her had been left behind in Germany.

One morning, while quietly sipping tea in her comfortable bed, she decided to call Misabell. As the familiar buzzing on the line sounded and Misabell finally picked up, a small smile spread across Akiko’s face.

"Akiko! Finally, you’re calling! How have you been?" came Misabell’s cheerful voice.

"I’m fine. People here are all kind and polite, but sometimes it feels like something’s missing. You know, that sense of familiarity.."

Misabell laughed softly. "Oh, Akiko, with your quiet, observant ways. But honestly, haven’t you made any friends there yet?"

Akiko smiled. "Well, I have Kaori and her family but it’s just not the same. Friendships here feel, how should I say.. more controlled. Not as free as ours."

"I understand." Misabell replied. "But honestly, sometimes I think you’re holding on to a past you should let go of. Memories are great, especially the time with us back then, but sometimes, we need to make room for new people."

Akiko was silent for a moment. Her friend’s words struck her more deeply than she cared to admit. Was that what she was really doing? Holding onto the past, clinging to everything she had left behind in Germany? Was her longing for familiarity just a way of avoiding the here and now?

"Maybe you’re right, Misabell." she finally admitted. "But it’s hard. I can’t just forget everything that was."

Misabell sighed sympathetically. "You’re not supposed to forget. But don’t let it hold you back. Friendships can change, Akiko. And sometimes, that’s a good thing."

---

The conversation with Misabell left Akiko thoughtful. She walked over to her desk and took out a piece of writing paper. It felt strange to write an actual letter, yet suddenly, the words began to flow.

"Dear Mom and Dad." she began, and even with those few words, she felt memories and emotions rising within her. She told them about her apartment, the university, the friendly people she had met, and the family she was staying with.

"It’s a bit like an adventure here" she continued "but also a little frightening. Everything is so new and exciting, yet sometimes I’m overcome with a deep longing for home."

From time to time, she paused, uncertain of how much to write about Draken or her meeting with Masumi. In the end, she decided to briefly mention that she was thinking of many old friends. Part of her wanted to keep the pain to herself, not burdening her parents with her own sorrow. But she let slip that returning to open a new chapter was harder than she had imagined.

With a gentle sigh, she placed the final period, set the pen aside, and looked at the letter. She realized that this was more than just a letter; it was a small act of letting go. A letter that carried not only words, but also fragments of her longings and fears.

Late in the evening, she walked to the post office and mailed the letter. A small piece of her past was now on its way back home, and as she closed the mailbox, she felt a sense of lightness wash over her.

---

Back in her apartment, she sank exhausted into bed but opened a book to calm her thoughts. Instead, her mind wandered to Draken. The words of the letter she had just sent to her parents had stirred old memories.

She remembered the time when she and Draken had written each other regularly. Back then, the distance between them had seemed meaningless, each letter was a little bridge that connected their worlds. Now she wondered if the letters had really been enough to maintain their bond.

Without thinking twice, she got up, walked to her desk, and opened the drawer where she kept the old letters. It was a small bundle of yellowed envelopes she had carried with her for so long. His handwriting, the bold, angular letters, filled the pages and spoke of a time that now existed only in her memory.

Dear Akiko,

It’s strange, writing to you instead of sitting across from you and saying all this. Life here in Tokyo goes on, faster than I can sometimes bear. Since you left, I’ve had to make decisions that used to be yours, it feels almost as if I’ve taken on the role of a mom. Our friend group, of course, couldn’t just keep things simple, so they decided we had to form a gang to at least hold on to some sense of unity. You know what I think of all these big plans.

The gang is called the Tokyo Manji Gang. Three guesses who came up with the name.

Akiko had to chuckle a little. She hadn’t read these letters in a long time, and it surprised her to see just how chaotic her life had been back then.

Aside from Mikey and me, Mitsuya, Baji, Kazutora, and Hayashida are members. Oh, and Takemichi.. you’ve got to meet him! It’s amazing how much of Shinichiro is in him, as if he’s carrying all of Shinichiro’s energy within him. I see the same spark, that determination that changes everything around him. You’d definitely like him, he has this way of bringing people together without saying much, just by being there.

I know this isn’t the same as being together. We all miss you so much, but through the gang, we hope to grow closer. Someday, we’ll see each other again. Then maybe you can become a member too, depending on whether Mikey, that idiot, has come to his senses by then.

With every word I write to you, I feel a little closer to you, as if I could bring you here in my thoughts, even if only for a moment. Sometimes I wonder if you even need this world I’m describing to you. Maybe it’s better if you have peace and go your own way, far away from all of this. We argue a lot, and the fights are getting more brutal and serious. This is nothing like the childhood fights we used to have in secret.

But I can’t help myself. I want to tell you everything, to show you that you’re still a part of us and of Tokyo. It feels like words aren’t enough, yet I hope they reach you as a little bridge between us.

One day, Akiko, this won’t just be a memory. I believe you’ll come back and that we’ll be able to keep going together.

Until then, hold onto the stories I’m sharing with you, so you don’t forget the world you used to be a part of.

Thinking of you,
Draken

After reading that letter, she continued with the others, one by one, and with each line, she felt closer to him again. It was as if he were still speaking to her, as if she had never moved away.. or as if he had never faded into her past. In the quiet darkness of the night, as the first light of dawn crept through the window, she realized that these memories were an important part of her. Yet she also felt the weight of needing to let go, to move forward on her own path.

A decision began to form within her. She would visit Masumi and learn more about Draken and his life after she moved away. She needed to find out the truth about what had happened to him. Maybe she could finally find peace, and in a way, it seemed like the right step to find herself again.