Like autumn leaves

Will I See You Again

"What would you do if I died?"

Winter looked up from his book to blink at his wife. She was staring into the fire, expression thoughtful.

"Where did that come from?"

"One of the toddlers lost her mom today. Marjorie's going to fill the staff in on the details tomorrow. But I was talking to her father and it made me think."

It wasn't exactly a fun subject. And certainly not a conversation Winter wanted to have. But he set his book aside and gave the question the thought it deserved.

"I would... keep living. It would be hard, and I might not always want to, but I can't imagine you'd be happy with me rolling over and giving up."

A small, satisfied smile twitched at Autumn's lips. "You know me so well. I'd want you to be happy, of course. Move on, if you could. Find someone else."

Move on. Find someone else. That would absolutely never happen. "For my part, I would haunt any man you tried to date. I would be an incredibly unhinged ghost."

Autumn hummed, her smile turning devious. "I guess I'll just have to date women then."

"I would be a very different kind of ghost in that case."

* * * * *

It had been a week since they took Autumn off the life support. A week since she had disappeared.

Winter didn't know if she was still around. Sometimes Caddie would stare a little too hard at a corner and he wondered. Sorscha said that they'd woken up several times to hear Quinn saying Aut Aut over the baby monitor, and it made Winter think. But why couldn't he see her any more? Why couldn't he hear her? Talk to her?

Then again... maybe he could.

He sat on the edge of the bed — their bed — staring at the wall. Caddie was curled up on Autumn's pillow behind him, sleeping. He took a deep breath. And spoke.

"I don't know if you're here, my love. Or if you can hear me. But if you can... I love you. In one year you completely changed my life and made it worth living. And I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world.

"And I know you wanted me to move on, and be happy." He twisted his ring on his finger as he spoke. "And maybe I could move on... someday. Maybe. I won't hold my breath. Honestly, if I never found anyone else, I think I'd be happy. I've loved you more in one year than I've ever loved anyone in my life. And I think that's enough. If you have to go, Autumn... then I've loved enough. But I'll keep living. I'll take care of Caddie for you. And Reece. And everyone else. If you have to go... I'll be okay."

He let out a long breath, finally allowing the tears he had been burying for so long to fall. For the first time it really felt like Autumn might not come back.

But he would be okay. Eventually.

* * * * *

"Winter!"

The last time Reece had called his name across the toddler room had been a dreary, rainy day. There hadn't even been a break in the rain to go outside, and the kids had been all wound up. They'd been in the middle of an impromptu dance party when Reece's panicked voice broke the jovial atmosphere. Autumn was in a car accident, he said. They had to get to the hospital.

Now it was a cold, albeit sunny day. They had just gotten back inside, and Winter was helping the kids get their coats off. He immediately abandoned that to straighten up and turn to his brother-in-law. Just like last time, Marjorie was waiting to take his place in the room so he could leave.

They hurried to the hospital, Reece relaying all the details the doctors had given him on the phone. It wasn't a much, but it was enough to make Winter immediately run out of the car as soon as they had parked, darting across the car park and into the hospital with Reece right behind him.

Autumn's eyes were closed when they arrived at the room. She seemed unbothered by the doctor and nurse working quietly around her. But her eyelids fluttered after a moment and opened, drawn straight to Winter like the universe had alerted her that he was there. She looked so painfully tired; but still she smiled when she saw him. As if everything was okay now that they were together.

"Autumn."

Winter hurried across the room, ducking around the nurse to take his usual seat and grab her hand. Her fingers twitched a bit, reacting to his touch, but she couldn't find the strength to fold them.

"She'll have trouble talking for a bit," the doctor warned Winter and Reece. "It's going to take time for her to build her strength back up."

Reece thanked the doctor, but Winter didn't look away from Autumn. They had never needed words to speak. She met his gaze, and he saw the exhaustion etched into every line of her face.

"It's okay, my love." He stood and leaned in to press a kiss to her forehead, still squeezing her hand. "Get some rest. We'll be here when you wake up."

There would be time later for talking. For Winter to learn that Autumn didn't remember anything from the out of body experience. That her last memories were kissing him before he left for work that morning while she enjoyed her day off.

There would be time later to learn that she would probably needs months of physical therapy to get back to normal, and for her to expression her anxiety and frustration about that.

There would be time to learn that Quinn had said "Bye bye Aut Aut!" and scared the life out of Charlotte right before Autumn woke up.

There would be time. Later.

For now, Winter was happy to brush his fingers through Autumn's hair as her eyes fluttered shut, reassured that they would open again soon. She would look at him again.

And everything would be okay.

Author's Note: This was a fun little experiment to dip my toes into the fandom, I've really enjoyed it. I hope you all have as well <3 If you've enjoyed it as well, I've also got a one-shot (mostly Wintumn) series and a little almost-murder mystery story ongoing.

And if you're interested in the songs that inspired the title and each chapter totle, you can find them here: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4mpRf6tAUzhmNmc6ovc9lX?si=8a73cce238fd4012