Set Fire To The Rain

Bad

Cassie

November 2000

He's never not called me when he's late...I hope he's doing ok.

I had finished packing my last carry-on bag for our flight to California, and tried to keep myself busy checking our bags, in case I forgot to pack something important.

Anything to keep me from worrying about Noe, the later it got.

I should've gotten used to it by now, being married to a firefighter and knowing that plans like "just us" can change without warning.

The trade-off to marrying the man I love being that plans will most definitely change, quick as a match, and I have to be ok with it and ready when he is, whenever his pager suddenly goes off.

I'm ok with it.

I know I can't have him to myself always when the city he loves needs him too.

It just hasn't got "easier" yet, like the other firefighter's wives told me it would.

And admitting that it hasn't, even after almost 2 years of marriage, my friends only joke about it now. How enamored I am with Noe, and how I've never really gotten over the "honeymoon phase", even after playing so "hard to get" before we officially dated.

But by no means was I a tease, or had anything to gain out of playing hard to get.

When I want something, I just go for it. I'm that type of girl.

It's not like I picked up a Cosmo magazine one day and thought, "Hm, send him mixed signals by pretending I don't want him? That'll cure my lonely nights."

If I were Noe, I would've given up on me and moved on.

And if he weren't also a "when I want something, I just go for it" type of guy, he damn well should've given up. Knowing that giving somebody the run around about how I feel just wasn't like me...unless it was absolutely necessary.

That said, I loved going out and I'd gone on plenty of dates before I met Noe.

Even though I tried to hide my very slight country twang, and threw my hair up in a no-nonsense ponytail by noon, it didn't stop guys from asking if I had a pager.

I had no problem going out for a drink with a guy, if he liked country music, whiskey, and honey BBQ hot wings.

No playing hard to get there.

And I'm not saying either that I had something against firemen...generally speaking.

I mean, yeah, in theory, they're great. They serve a noble purpose. They save lives, yadayada.

But at the end of the day, I can put out my own stove fires and save my own kittens....At least when I'm sober.

Some girls dig the hero thing though, and that's totally ok.

The word fireman is a noun--I think--but some ladies want to make it an adjective.

Before my girlfriend Mandy took the plunge for marriage, she swore she would remain single and childless. She refused to--and I quote--let herself be shackled down by a ring, serving pancakes to snot-nosed-kids.

That lasted about six months.

When I asked her what about Adrian made her change her mind, she replied, "Well, duh, he's a fireman".

As if that should say everything about him.

But I'm always telling Mandy, you know, it's not like firemen are the only people capable of doing nice things on this planet.