Secret Admirer

21. Betrayal

Kayu stumbled into his apartment, shutting the door behind him as his composure finally crumbled. He felt his chest tighten, every breath a shallow gasp as he struggled against the emotions he had held back for so long. 

Staggering into his bedroom, he threw himself onto his bed, clutching the large, soft teddy bear, Blue, beside him. 

Blue had been his comfort, his confidant, for as long as he could remember. And tonight, Kayu needed him more than ever.

Burying his face into Blue's familiar softness, he sobbed, his words muffled and broken. "Blue...why didn't June tell me?" His voice shook as he clutched the bear closer. "Why keep it from me? Does he think I'm a fool?"

Tears soaked into the plush fabric as he continued, his voice wavering. "I never judged him, never questioned him...even when he told me about that night he spent with Buri—the night he proposed to me. I believed him. I trusted him." Kayu's voice broke, and he hugged Blue tighter, as if the stuffed bear could shield him from the heartache. "He said he didn't want Buri. He promised me."

The thought of June's recent coldness only deepened Kayu's sorrow. For three weeks, June had barely spoken to him, claiming he was swamped with work. 

The little communication they had had felt strained, forced—Kayu could tell that something had changed. 

June had told him he was on a business trip in Japan, and their schedules had clashed so often that their few calls had been fleeting, mere minutes. Yet Kayu had pushed aside his suspicions, convinced himself that it was just the distance. But now, it was all too clear.

His red-rimmed eyes drifted to the nightstand, where a vase of purple lilies stood in full bloom, their vibrant petals a bittersweet reminder. 

That is when it clicked. The flowers, the snacks, the ring Ciro had made him wear—it wasn't just kindness. Ciro knew. He had known about Buri and June all along. 

Kayu's heart twisted at the realization. "I was just a joke to them, wasn't I, Blue?" he whispered. "They must have laughed at me, all of them." 

He thought back to every time Ciro had brought him flowers, the lunches they had shared, the little gestures of care that had started to feel so real. 

A small part of him had begun to hope that maybe, just maybe, someone actually cared for him. But it had all been a ruse, a kindness meant to push him away from June and Buri. To them, he was just a pawn.

He forced himself up from the bed, wiping his cheeks, determination hardening his expression. Crossing to the kitchen, he grabbed a large trash bag and strode back to his bedroom, his eyes fixed on the lilies with a bitter resolve. 

He yanked them from the vase, shoving them into the bag with clenched fists. 

Then he moved through his apartment, collecting every single purple lily Ciro had given him. Kitchen, living room, dining room, even the washroom—anywhere the flowers stood, Kayu cleared them away, until his home was devoid of the blooms that had once brought him such warmth.

Dragging the heavy bag outside, he dumped it into the building's trash collector, watching as the bright petals disappeared among the refuse. 

He let out a shaky breath, a small part of his pain released with the flowers. 

Just then, his phone vibrated in his pocket. Kayu's pulse quickened. It was June calling.

Taking a moment to calm himself, he inhaled deeply, then pressed the answer button. "Hey," he managed, his voice steady.

"Kayu!" June's voice was warm, enthusiastic, and it made Kayu's heart clench. "I just landed! I'm finally back in Thailand."

Kayu swallowed the bitterness that threatened to rise, keeping his tone even. "Great. Can I come over? I would like to see you."

"Of course!" June replied cheerfully, unaware of Kayu's inner turmoil. "I have missed you so much. Come on over."

As Kayu flagged down a cab, he braced himself, feeling both numb and painfully raw. He couldn't go on with this uncertainty. He needed answers, no matter how much they hurt.

When he reached June's apartment, he pressed the doorbell and waited, his heart heavy. The door opened, and June's face lit up with a smile as he pulled Kayu into a warm hug. "I missed you," June murmured, holding him close.

Kayu let himself be led inside, past the entrance and into the bedroom, where June's luggage lay unpacked on the bed. 

"I got you a bunch of gifts from Japan," June said, digging excitedly into his suitcase. He pulled out small boxes, souvenirs, clothes, babbling with enthusiasm, oblivious to Kayu's silence.

"Sorry for the mess," June said with a laugh. "I haven't unpacked yet; I just had to show you everything right away."

But as he laid item after item in front of Kayu, he finally noticed the quietness, the stoic look in his fiancé's eyes. He stopped mid-sentence, his brow furrowing. "Kayu? What's wrong?"

Kayu's voice was calm, though his heart raced beneath the surface. "I met P' Buri today," he said softly, his gaze fixed on June.

June blinked in surprise, clearly not expecting that. "P' Buri?" he echoed. "How...?"

Kayu didn't waste time with evasions. "Why didn't you tell me you were seeing him again?"

The color drained from June's face as he processed Kayu's words. "What...what do you mean?" he stammered.

Kayu let out a bitter laugh, glancing down before meeting June's eyes again. "Buri was wearing the shirt I bought for you. You told me you would keep it close to your heart, but it was on him. I gave you my trust, June. I believed you."

Panic flashed across June's face as he rushed over to his wardrobe, digging through his clothes with desperate hands. When he found the shirt was missing, he froze, guilt and worry written across his features. "Kayu, I can explain," he said, his voice trembling.

Kayu's expression was calm, though his eyes betrayed the hurt and betrayal simmering beneath. "Then explain," he replied, his voice low.

June took a shaky breath, his eyes darting away before settling back on Kayu. "He came by the night before I left for Japan. He said he wanted to talk, to...try again. But I stood my ground, Kayu. I told him I didn't want him back. I told him that I wanted you."

Kayu's gaze softened slightly, but his guard remained up. "You expect me to believe that, after everything?"

June nodded earnestly, reaching for Kayu's hand. "Please believe me. He insisted on staying the night, and I let him sleep in the guest room. I didn't want to push him away completely, but I also had no intention of getting back together. I don't know how he ended up with that shirt, I swear."

Kayu's fingers trembled as he took in June's words, his heart wavering between skepticism and hope. "You never told me he came over. Why keep that from me?"

June swallowed, his gaze falling. "I didn't want to worry you. I knew how you felt about him, and I didn't want you to think there was anything to fear. I just wanted to be honest...without causing you any more pain." 

He reached up, cupping Kayu's face with gentle hands. "I'm sorry. I would never go behind your back like that. You are my best friend, Kayu. You are everything to me."

The sincerity in June's voice pierced through Kayu's walls, and he felt his anger ebb away, replaced by a deep sadness. He let out a shaky breath, his voice breaking. "You have no idea how much it hurt, seeing him wearing that shirt...thinking you had lied."

June pulled him close, wrapping his arms around him as Kayu's shoulders shook. "I am so sorry, Kayu," he murmured, his voice thick with regret. "I didn't mean to make you feel that way. I am sorry for every misunderstanding I caused."

Kayu clung to him, his heart raw as he felt June's arms around him. He had feared he had lost him, but in June's embrace, he felt a glimmer of reassurance, the warmth of a promise he could still believe in. 

They held each other in the quiet of the room, each apology mending a part of the rift between them, until the fear and pain began to fade.