Secret Admirer

33. Confess

Kayu's chest burned as he slowed to a halt, his breaths ragged and uneven. His legs ached from running, but his mind raced faster than his body ever could. He found himself in an isolated part of the fairgrounds, away from the bright lights and lively chatter. 

The quiet here was unsettling, and the distant hum of the festivities only made the moment feel more surreal.

He turned sharply, his eyes scanning the path behind him. He didn't need to look for long—Ciro was there, catching up to him effortlessly. His long strides and calm demeanor were in stark contrast to Kayu's panic.

Kayu's eyes fell to the objects in Ciro's hands—the bracelet and teddy bear that Kayu had discarded in his frantic escape. He clenched his fists.

"What the hell do you think you are doing, Khun Ciro?" Kayu demanded, his voice cracking slightly from exhaustion and emotion. "Was it fun? Teasing me like this?"

Ciro didn't flinch at the accusation. He stepped closer, his expression calm yet resolute. "I wasn't teasing you, Kayu."

"Then what were you doing?" Kayu's voice rose, anger masking the vulnerability underneath. "Creating a fake account in that dating app, calling yourself Honeybear, and chatting with me for days—what was all of that supposed to mean?"

Ciro exhaled, his shoulders slumping slightly. "I didn't have any other choice," he said softly. "What else was I supposed to do? You wouldn't talk to me when we met in the office everyday. You avoided me every chance you got. I... I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You had been so quiet and gloomy in these days. I wanted to cheer you up somehow."

Kayu stared at him, his disbelief evident. "Why?" he asked, his voice trembling. "Why would you care if I am okay? Why do you care if I am sad or gloomy?" His eyes glistened, tears spilling over as he spoke. "What do you want from me, Khun Ciro?! Haven't your best friend gotten his boyfriend back from me? What else do you want?"

The accusatory look in Kayu's tear-filled eyes was like a dagger to Ciro's heart. He stepped forward, his voice steady despite the storm of emotions within him. "It has nothing to do with Buri and June. I care about you, Kayu. I have always cared about you."

Kayu let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head as fresh tears streamed down his cheeks. "You have got a funny way of showing it," he spat. "Is that why you helped Buri ruin my relationship with June? Was that another way of showing how much you 'care' about me? Or was it just a stunt to make yourself feel less guilty about everything you have done to me so far?"

Ciro inhaled deeply, his gaze unwavering despite the sharpness of Kayu's words. "The only reason I helped Buri wasn't because he is my friend," he said quietly. "It was because I was jealous."

Kayu's scoff was immediate and filled with disbelief. "Jealous?" he echoed, crossing his arms. "Jealous of what, exactly? Quit joking around, Khun Ciro."

"I am not joking." Ciro's voice was firm, and there was a raw honesty in his tone that made Kayu falter.

Ciro hesitated for a moment, gathering his thoughts. Then, with a deep breath, he continued. "When I first heard from P' Mike that you had a boyfriend, I felt hurt. At the time, I convinced myself it was because we were close friends, and you hadn't told me about dating someone. But it wasn't that simple."

Kayu's brows furrowed, confusion clouding his expression.

Ciro pressed on, his voice tinged with vulnerability. "When I went to the resort to meet you and June... I saw him proposing to you. He was on one knee, in front of everyone, and you said yes—even though it was obvious you were uncomfortable with all the attention. I couldn't stand it. I was annoyed—furious, even. And that's why I agreed to Buri's plan to lure you away from June that night. I couldn't stand the thought of letting you spend the night with someone like June who doesn't understand your boundaries"

Kayu's eyes widened, shock flickering across his face.

"I kept telling myself that June wasn't the right guy for you," Ciro admitted. "I tried to convince you to rethink things, but you wouldn't listen. The way you always defended June in front of me always made me so angry. And... and I thought my frustration came from wanting the best for you, from being protective. But that wasn't the whole truth." He paused, his eyes meeting Kayu's.

"It wasn't until recently that I realized the truth, Kayu," Ciro said, his voice dropping to almost a whisper. "I... I was actually jealous because you were with someone else."

Kayu's heart thudded painfully in his chest. "Why?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. His tone was laced with disbelief, almost a plea. "Why would you be jealous that I was with someone else?"

Ciro's gaze softened, and he stepped closer, closing the distance between them. "Because I love you, Kayu."

The words hung in the air, heavy and unrelenting. Kayu froze, his mind blank as the world seemed to tilt around him. His eyes locked with Ciro's, searching for any sign that this might be another cruel joke. But all he found was sincerity—an unguarded vulnerability that he had never seen in Ciro before.

Silence stretched between them, the only sounds coming from the faint hum of the fair in the distance and their uneven breaths. Kayu's mind raced, memories of every interaction, every moment they had shared, flooding his thoughts.

Ciro stood still, his heart pounding as he awaited a response. For once, the ever-composed and confident man felt exposed, his emotions laid bare before someone he couldn't afford to lose.

Ciro took a deep breath, his voice steady yet filled with emotion. "Kayu, I know I have hurt you, and there is nothing I can say to undo that. But the truth is, I was jealous—jealous of June because he had you, when all I wanted was to be the one standing by your side. I thought I was protecting you, but really, I was protecting myself from admitting how I feel. I love you, Kayu. I have loved you for longer than I realized, and seeing you with someone else made me understand how much you mean to me."

Kayu's lips parted, but no words came out. Instead, tears welled up again in his eyes, blurring his vision.

The two of them stood there, suspended in a moment that felt both infinite and fleeting, as the truth hung between them like a fragile thread, waiting to either be severed or woven into something new