Spectator

Chapter Forty-three: Now

They all stared at her. Even Nari, who knew everything, hadn't seen this coming.

Zakariah was the first to break the silence. "Well," he scoffed. "It was pretty obvious."

"Shut up, Zakariah," Nari said coldly, and Zakariah did. That was it. Whatever camaraderie and understanding that had somehow fostered between her and Nari was gone. Obliterated, like the shuttle. The only thing she had left was to convince Jae, who was shaking his head.

"Kali, you don't have to-"

"It's the truth. The General gave me the device and I applied it. We blew up. Most of us died. End of story." It wasn't the entire story. She hadn't mentioned that it was supposed to be one last fuck you to her mother, that she hadn't really expected the shuttle to crash. That part didn't matter. Part of her had known what was happening was her fault during the crash. Every death, that was on her. And not telling the others sooner, that was on her too. Let them think that it was all because of her.

"No. Kali, you wouldn't." Jae insisted.

"That's why she wanted to save the others. Amon, Augus, Kadent. Because it was her fault. All of this is her fault." Zakariah's eyes were wide, and more than a little manic. He took a step towards her and Sh'an's grip tightened, the warrior growling out a wordless warning. "We should go. Leave her."

Jae shook his head. "No."

"Jae, don't be an idiot. She did it on purpose."

"She couldn't have."

"I did," Kali said. She looked Jae in the eyes. "Don't you remember what I told you on top of the climbing wall?"

He went pale.

"She's telling the truth, Jae." Nari spoke up. "The pieces fit. She worked with the General to cause the accident."

"But... why?" Jae said, running his fingers through his silver hair.

"Because it would piss off my mom," Kali answered.

"No."

"You were sent to sabotage the station, weren't you?" Kali asked softly. Gently. "By Genesis. But you couldn't do it."

Jae's jaw ticked.

"You've got to be kidding me. Two traitors?" Zakariah threw up his hands in frustration.

"No," Nari corrected. "Jae chose not to sabotage anything. That's why the station was attacked; that's why we had the blackout. He was sent for one thing and couldn't follow through."

Jae's eyes locked with Kali's.

"I couldn't do it," he said simply.

"I know." Her heart squeezed. "But I could. And I did. And you need to leave. Now."

"Come on," Nari tugged at Jae's arm in a rare show of contact. She was almost gentle.

"She could just be saying all this so that we'll—"

"She's not." Nari said. "And we need to go."

"Go," Kali said. "There's nothing for you here."

The look Jae gave her was grief stricken, and for a moment he did struggle. Then his shoulders slumped, and he let Nari pull him away. One by one, they all disappeared into the gorse, until only Sh'an, Kali, and the watchful Sentinel remained.

They had left her. As she deserved.

She fell to her knees as her sobs wracked her body. Sh'an knelt with her, holding her tightly.