Rediscovering Us

To Seal The Deal

Over the next few weeks, Kacchan and I are getting along, sort of. As much as Kacchan can get along with anyone. It's nice, being proper friends with him again, talking. 

He's still rude sometimes, most of the time even, but that's Kacchan. I don't expect any different from him, and I'm not sure I'd want him to be different anyway.

He asked me to let him come to my dorm, he doesn't like people in his dorm. So, I let him, though that's obvious, I don't think I'd be able to say 'no' to hanging out with him.

He's on my bed. My Kacchan is on my bed, leaning his back against the headboard, staring at the ceiling as though it's the most interesting thing on the planet. I think I'm staring at him the same way, I tend to do that, without thinking about it. He hasn't said anything since he arrived at my room, like not a single word, just walked in and sat on my bed like he and I were-

I'm not sure, like we were not friends, but not like we were anything else either. If we were anything else, he would have said something, but just friends, you wouldn't walk in like it was were you were meant to be this whole time.

This is dumb, I'm just his friend, and he's Kacchan, he's odd. I don't know what's going on in my head anymore, I can't stand that he's on my bed. He's near me.

And he's not mad.

He's sitting on my bed, hanging out with me, and he's not mad-

"You're... not as annoying as I thought you were." He breaks me out of my trail of thoughts, he probably wouldn't be saying that if I were mumbling my thoughts like I normally do. Thank God I wasn't though, because that was almost nice.

"That's nearly a compliment." I reply in a laugh. To his standards, that's a compliment. Kacchan complimented me.

"Closest to one I'd be giving you." He says, as though I didn't know that. Not that I mind, I'm very happy with the level of almost kindness I'm receiving from him now. He's looking at me now, I can't tell the expression in his eyes, it's not his normal roughness or rudeness, but I've never seen this look in his eyes before. It's oddly comforting though, Kacchan is always relatively comfortable to be around. Maybe that's just me though.

I think I was staring at his eyes too long because he fakes a cough and nudges me with his foot, it's a weirdly gentle action.

He's been weird around me since our conversation, gentler and almost kind. It reminds me of him online, him as Dyna, so opposing to him in middle school.

"Kacchan," I start, my voice sounds strangely panicked, I shouldn't be nervous like that. "I don't know how to feel right now, I'm still a little offset... about middle school, everything you did and you said, what if you do it again?"

I can see Kacchan's eyes widen, he doesn't interrupt me though, he sits and he listens, like he cares, and maybe he does.

"I'm not the same dumbass dick of a preteen anymore, you know that right?" He asks once I'm done talking, and it's not the nicest thing he could say in response, but I know what he means.

"I know, trust me I know, Kacchan. I'm just... scared?" Kacchan's expression breaks my heart, he looks so apologetic. "I don't want to get hurt."

Kacchan just stares at me for a moment, I can't tell if he's trying to figure out what to say or if he is trying not to punch me.

"I know I can't undo everything I've done, but," He starts finally, his expression pained. "I'm not going to hurt you. I don't want to."

His hand and his foot move closer to me, maybe, but maybe I'm imagining it. I do imagine things I want sometimes.

The look on his face, though, I am not imagining. His eyes are narrowed and his cheeks are flushed, I don't know what to do.

I only know that I wasn't imagining his movements when fingers brush by mine, but he quickly moves his hand away. It happened though, and he made the decision to do it, I just don't understand why.

The feeling in my chest as it happens reminds me of Dyna, except more, there's so many things I want but I don't know what any of them are.

Kacchan and I are just staring at each other, neither one of us are speaking, and I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack. Then I notice his mouth move, no sound comes out but it means he wants to say something.

"I'm shit at this, Izuku." He says and, oddly enough, I know what he's talking about. "I want to try though. With you. I want to so bad." He curses under his breath after. His voice is practically a whisper, but my dorm's quiet so that makes no difference.

I can't say or do anything in response, I don't know how I'm supposed to feel or react. I'm happy though, I think, it's just odd.

I reach my hand out over his, hoping that's answer enough. I think it is, because he smiles for a quick second before he catches himself. He's oddly very pretty, that's probably not a normal thing to think, but he is.

We sit there for a while, my hand on top of his, and we're staring at each other. We were never good with communication, never talked about feelings, but we know them now, and that's a start. Maybe one day we'll be able to just sit and talk, until then a comfortable silence is all we need.

"Does this mean we're dating?" He asks me, rather suddenly, but at the same time it's not sudden in the slightest.

"I think so." I reply, and his hand moves to my knee, as if he were waiting for a moment to do that the whole time. Knowing him, he might have been.

"A kiss to seal the deal?" He asks, as if that's a normal thing to say, and maybe it is in this situation, but it's not between us. Not that I'd ever say no.

So, I kiss him. It's gentle and nice, and I feel less panicked now. Something about this is calming, I'd kiss him forever if I could.

Unfortunately, I do have to pull away after a moment, and Kacchan just stares at me, again. I'm tired of staring. He's smiling slightly, and he's not trying to hide it this time.

"Wow, my boyfriend." He says with his smile, I never get to see that smile.