𝐅𝐀𝐖𝐍•ᵉ ʲᵃᵉᵍᵉʳ

29 ˢⁱⁿᶜᵉʳᵉˡʸ, ᵉ ʲᵃᵉᵍᵉʳ

𝚝𝚑𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚍𝚊𝚢, 𝚓𝚊𝚗𝚞𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝟸𝟹𝚛𝚍

𝐌𝐔𝐂𝐇 𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐀𝐘, at around 7 PM, I'm sitting on my bed, typing away at my computer, trying to finish a paper for my thesis. The glow of the screen casts a pale light over my cluttered room, illuminating the piles of books and the remnants of half-finished assignments that have become my constant companions. The rhythmic tapping of my fingers against the keyboard is the only sound in the otherwise quiet space, a monotonous reminder of the pressure I've placed on myself to succeed.

I pause for a moment, staring blankly at the screen, the words blurring together into an unintelligible mess. My mind drifts back to Y/N, and I can't help but feel a familiar ache in my chest. It's a feeling that's become all too common these past weeks—a mix of longing and regret that weighs heavily on me. I shake my head, willing myself to focus on the thesis, but it's no use. The thoughts of her invade my mind like an unwelcome guest, refusing to leave.

What is she doing right now? Is she studying, laughing with her friends, or scrolling through her phone, maybe even thinking about me? I wish I could know. I wish I could reach out to her without the fear of being met with anger or indifference. I know I messed up, and the thought of facing her again sends a wave of nausea through me. But the desire to make things right is stronger than my fear.

I glance at the clock on my wall, the hands ticking steadily onward, each second a reminder of how much time has passed since I last saw her smile. The truth is, I feel utterly lost without her. She was the spark that ignited something within me, and now, without her presence, everything feels dimmed, as if the color has been stripped away from my life.

With a frustrated sigh, I push back from my desk and stand up, pacing the small confines of my room. I need a break from this. I need to clear my head. I grab my jacket from the back of my chair and head out the door, hoping that some fresh air might bring a little clarity to the chaos swirling in my mind.

As I walk through the dorm halls, I catch snippets of laughter and chatter from the other students, their carefree banter reminding me of what I once had. The contrast stings. I step outside, the cool evening air hitting my face, and I breathe deeply, trying to ground myself. The campus is quieter now, the sun dipping below the horizon, painting the sky with hues of orange and purple.

I find myself wandering towards the courtyard, my feet taking me to the familiar spot where Y/N and I shared laughter and late-night talks. I sit on a bench, staring at the ground, and for a moment, I let the memories wash over me—the way her eyes sparkled when she talked about her favorite books, the soft sound of her laughter that felt like a balm to my troubled soul.

The emptiness around me feels suffocating, and I can't shake the feeling that I've lost something irreplaceable. I pull out my phone, hesitating as I scroll through my contacts. Should I message her? Should I take that risk?

The thought of reaching out sends my heart racing, but I don't know what to say. How do you apologize for breaking someone's heart? How do you express the depths of your regret without sounding pathetic? I take a deep breath, steeling myself, and type a message anyway.

Hey, it's Eren. I know it's been a while, but I've been thinking about you...

I stare at the message, my finger hovering over the send button. I want to hit send, but fear grips me. What if she ignores me? What if I'm too late? The thought of her moving on without me feels like a knife twisting in my gut.