Carved in Her Bones

Rhian

Tomas left yesterday. I couldn't bring myself to say goodbye. I am happy he kicked cancer's butt.

I'm driving Gigi to pick out a new Chanel suit for my birthday. The woman loves birthdays—any excuse to dress up, drink with friends, and celebrate. She hasn't visited Joey since he got sick again, though she does arrange weekly activities for the two of them outside the stench of death—her words, not mine.

"When I turned 18, my parents shipped me to America," she says. "Best four months of my life."

"I never knew that," I glance at her briefly before refocusing on the road.

"Oh, darling, it was heaven. That's when I met the love of my life."

"Gigi, I thought you met Grandpa at a theater in London?"

"Oh, yes, I did." A pause. Then it hits me—Grandpa wasn't the love of her life.

"His name was Arnold," she continues wistfully. "A farmer. Absolute unit of a man. He was sex on legs, and I knew immediately—I had to climb that."

"Okay, Gigi!" I groan. "Spare me the details!"

She just laughs.

"Why didn't you marry Arnold, then?"

"Oh, honey, times were different. Your great-grandfather would never have approved. Arnold and I both knew we wouldn't last when the affair started—that's what made it so great. Oh, the shenanigans we got up to..."

I park her Range Rover across from Chanel on 4th Street. Her personal shopper, Jacques, is already waiting. Gigi keeps talking as we walk inside.

"I was staying with my great-aunt Marjorie in New York. Arnold was from rural upstate. Absolute chance that we met at a farmers' market my first Sunday there. The next day, he took me to the movies. Four months of pure bliss and adventure. But I didn't cry when we said goodbye—I knew my life wasn't with him. We would have consumed each other."

We follow Jacques into the private viewing area. He disappears to collect Gigi's selections.

"Did you love Grandpa?" I ask.

She exhales, thoughtful. "Not at first. But I grew to love him. He had a quiet strength about him—a maturity I hated in the beginning but came to depend on. He let me be."

Jacques returns with Gigi's clothes, already packed and ready. She kisses him on both cheeks, and we head out.

I get to the hospital later than usual, and Joey's already asleep. Blue's nowhere to be seen, and I feel the glaring absence and emptiness Tomas left behind. It's odd how he thought I was the type of person who lingers, because he lingers in places like the cafeteria, surrounded by people who'd become his friends. But now, all that's left is an empty bed in Joey's room.

I've read about people who just make you feel more than you've ever felt, people who make you feel like you belong, like you've lived your whole life just to experience them. I'm not sure if it's love or just friendship, but for the first time, I liked having a friend that was just mine. Not Joey's, just mine.

I snap out of my messy thoughts when I notice the gift on Joey's bed.Wrapped neating in teal wrapping paper. I immediately grab it, opening the card. I don't really respect my brother's privacy, but I don't care right now. It's for me. I open the box and inside, there's an iPod, along with a note: "All my favorite songs, just the instrumentals." Beneath it, there's a ticket to Frederic Chopin: Piano Concerto No. 1 in E minor, with my favourite pianist, Olga Scheps. He remembered. And a return ticket to Warsaw.