Carved in Her Bones

Tomas(NOW)

She left me a week ago.

I'm sitting across from Damian at a pub in Krakow, nursing a whiskey I don't even want. He's mid-sentence, detailing his latest conquest with his usual crudeness, oblivious to the storm in my head.

"She left me," I interrupt, cutting through his tale about a girl with the "best blowjobs."

Damian blinks. "What? Man, are you serious?"

"Yes."

"Fuck. I thought she loved you."

"I know," I mutter, staring into the amber liquid, as though the answer to how everything unraveled is at the bottom of the glass.

"Why?"

"She found the file."

Damian freezes, his expression darkening. "The file? The file? From when you were watching her?"

"Yeah." My voice is flat, hollow.

"Jesus, Tomas." He exhales sharply. "That's... fuck. What happened?"

I lean back, replaying every detail of the day. It was just a normal day. We had just returned from Berlin, and I was planning to ask her to marry me. The ring was hidden in my jacket pocket, and I had spent the entire afternoon imagining how I'd do it.

She had been sitting cross-legged on the couch, reading—Pride and Prejudice again—while I worked at the desk in the corner of the room. It was peaceful, ordinary.

"Tomas," she'd said softly. "Can I use your laptop? Mine's upstairs, and I don't feel like getting up."

"Sure, baby," I replied, not looking up.

I didn't think twice about it. I should have.

The silence stretched for several minutes before I noticed her sniffle. I turned around, and there she was—tears streaming down her face, my laptop clutched in trembling hands.

My stomach dropped.

"What is this?" she whispered, her voice barely audible.

I knew immediately. I tried to stand, to go to her, but the look in her eyes froze me in place.

"Rhian, let me explain."

"When?" Her voice cracked. "When was the first time you saw me?"

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out.

"Was it before the first date ?  Before..." Her breaths grew shallow, ragged. "How did you even know me, Tomas?"

I didn't know what to say. How could I tell her the truth without destroying everything? She didn't wait for an answer.

Her voice broke completely as she asked the next question, her body shaking violently. "Was this all about the marrow? Did you..." She sobbed. "Did you just want me for that incase you got sick again?"

"No!" i reahced out to grab her hand. She flinched, yanking them away, the recoil cutting deeper than any knife. "Rhian, listen to me. It wasn't like that. It was never like that."

"Then tell me the truth!" she screamed.

I did.

I told her everything: how I first saw her , how i searched for , how i watched her, how i made sure she didnt date anyone and how she had unknowingly saved my life. How I'd become consumed by thoughts of her, how matchimg with her was noo coincident

"I love you," I whispered desperately, tears in my own eyes now. "Rhian, I fell in love with you, not because you saved my life but --because of you."