Carved in Her Bones

Now- Peter

Watching my mom draw out that laughter from Rhianon—the way she gets her to smile so freely—makes my chest feel tight, and I hate myself for it. It's not like I want to be jealous, especially not of my own mother. But seeing Rhian light up in that effortless way around her stirs up this prickly, uncomfortable feeling. Every soft laugh, every shared look between them, reminds me of how badly I want to be the one who makes Rhian smile like that. It's pathetic, maybe, to feel this way, but I can't seem to help it.

Mom's always had this knack for putting people at ease, for making them feel seen, and Rhian is no different. They talk as though they've known each other forever, connecting over things I can't even begin to understand. When Rhian tells her that she hasn't played in a long time, Mom reaches over, squeezes her hand, and gets this look on her face—a mixture of understanding and approval—that I realize, with a bitter pang, I've rarely seen directed at me.

I shouldn't feel this way; I know that. I should just be glad they're getting along. But it's hard to ignore how warm and open Rhian is with her, or the fact that I can't remember the last time I've seen her so relaxed. And then there's that new way she calls me "Tomas," soft and familiar, like she's already a part of my family in ways I'd only hoped for. It's a small thing, but it makes my pulse race each time she says it.

Then Mom announces her dinner party, as casually as if she's suggesting we all have coffee.

My mind stutters, and I interject. "You didn't mention anything about guests."

"Oh, Tomas." She waves a dismissive hand. "It's a spur-of-the-moment thing."

Knowing her, a "few friends" will be at least a dozen. Mom's "spur-of-the-moment" gatherings have never exactly been small, and this one, with Rhianon here, feels... strategic.

A glance at Rhian tells me she's both nervous and excited, and somehow it puts me at ease. It's like she's looking to me for reassurance, for a sign that we're in this together. I give her a small nod, feeling that flicker of jealousy start to settle into something else.

I want her to feel at home here, and as much as this dynamic between her and my mom stirs me up, I realize I'd do anything to keep seeing her this happy. 

The intensity of the moment hit me like a tidal wave, my mind clouded with the overwhelming desire to be close to her, to make her mine in every possible way. But even with the urgency of the need coursing through me, there was a part of me that fought to hold back. Rhian wasn't like the others; she was different. She was untouched, innocent in ways I couldn't just ignore. I knew what I wanted, but I also knew the importance of moving at a pace that respected her boundaries.

As she stood there in my bedroom, I was overwhelmed by the need to have her, i wanted her more than i had wantedd anything in my life, it made my stomach ache, i was so hard it ached, but I had to remind myself of that — to be gentle, to be patient.

With a slow, deliberate movement, I leaned in  kissing her softly at first, letting her feel my restraint, my patience. But then it was as if a dam broke between us, the tenderness giving way to something more raw, more desperate.My lips still burned with the taste of hers, but I took a step back, regaining control over the storm inside me.

Take off your clothes

With my back against the door, she discarded all her clothes, each piece falling to the floor like a quiet promise. My breath caught in my throat. I had never seen anything so beautiful, so raw. In that instant, I realized everything before this moment would forever be overshadowed by the truth of her standing before me, vulnerable, trusting me with a side of herself I hadn't earned yet. But somehow, I had.

Her curls cascaded down her shoulders, hiding parts of her I wanted to memorize. My gaze lingered, hungry, as I took in the sight of her—her body, soft and perfect, like nothing I had ever imagined. I wasn't ready for the overwhelming flood of desire, the way my chest tightened, my heart pounding so hard I could barely catch my breath.