Innocent Girl - A Hunger Games Fanfiction

Chapter 21: Like a stab to my heart

1, 2, 3, 4. District 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9. And Districts 10 and 11. And Alek; the boy who saved me in more ways than one.

I resolve to deliver them to each family on my victory tour. But there's one I can do right now.
Willow was sick when I came back, and because she hasn't come to see me yet she must still be sick. So I'll go to her. Storing all the pieces of bark in the drawer, I quickly scrawl a note to tell anyone who needs to see me that I'm out, and head out with the small piece.

"Almond! Almond!" Calls a voice. I turn, and see Dean, and give him a wave. He jogs to me, so I wait.
"Where're you going?" He asks.
"To Willow's."
"Oh, well okay. By the way, did Haymitch do something? He says sorry." I can't help but laugh a bit. I thought the drunk old man couldn't care less!
"Well, except for pressing a knife to my throat, nothing," I say. Dean rolls his eyes.
"You're okay, now, though?"
"Yup."
"Well, I'll see ya later Almond, I gotta go. Bye."
"Bye, Dean!"

I stop at the Hob first. I buy a few things for Willow and her family, always making sure to secretly give more money then I need to when paying. I have all the money I could need in the world now. I also buy some extra things, like a new satchel for either Willow, or Benji, their six-year-old brother who's starting school soon.

Their.

I said their.

It's just Willow now.

I instantly shake that from my mind. I need, need to stop realising that.

It's odd, because now everyone recognises me. And I can pay, too, even extra.

It's an hour laater I finally get to Willow's house. Pausing in front of her house, I start to feel hesitant. Maybe they need more time, maybe they're not ready...

Now or never.

Before I can stop myself, I rap on the door, three times, and wait. And then a sense of deja vu washes over me like a wave.

I stand there, shivering in the cold holding just a lantern. I wrap the thin rag, not nearly large enough nor thick enough to warm me, closer around my body as I stare at the door. It's the dead of the night - how bothered will they be? I know that if someone were to turn up on my mother's door, Julien would sneak them in, yet mother would be furious. Would Alek or Willow let me in? Would they even be awake?
The doubt consumes me, but where else can I go? So before I can stop myself, I force my hands to shakily knock at the door. I wait. And wait. It feels like eternity, shivering in the darkness.
And then the door opens.
"Almond?" Alek asks in sleepy disbelief.
"I-i-it's r-really c-cold," I whisper, teeth chattering. Without hesitation, Alek pulls me inside.
"Why-what-where's Julien?" He finally asks.
"Mother kept him at home," I whisper, tears leaking out of my eyes. Alek gets me a blanket, and gets me to sit on a rickety chair.
"You can stay here, for tonight. Jesus, Almond, it's so cold out there it's literally snowing, why, how... You're ten... Why?" He's at a loss for words.
That was the day Alek found out the truth about me and Julien.

That day, Willow and Benji and their parents were all asleep, while Alek had been finishing off a late night assignment. It hadn't been much better in their house, but still, warmer.

Suddenly, the door flies open. Stands there, is Mrs Greenwood, her eyes puffy and demeanor frazzled.
"Hi, ma'am, I brou-"
"How dare you! How-how dare you come here, after, after, after you murdered my son!" She screams.
"But-"
"The audacity! You killed him, you disgusting girl, after all he did for you! And you have the nerve to show up here, like nothing happened, you revolting girl!? Get, out of here!"
"No, plea-"
"GET OUT!" she roars. Tears prick my eyes as I drop the satchel ono their door step and flee.

                                               ~~~~~

Julien finds me sitting at the desk, aimlessly carving strokes into the wood.
"Hey, Alm- Oh my god, Almond, what happened?" He ruses to me and wraps me in a hug, and I finally let the tears flow.
"You didn't tell me... you didn't tell me..." I sob. He realises instantly.
"I know... I'm sorry, I didn't think that you'd go..." he trails off awkwardly.
"Does WIllow hate me too?" I whisper.
"I dunno. I dunno. It's okay Almond... you still got me."
"I'm sorry." He doesn't reply. He knows the world that those two words carry, and he just hugs me tighter.

                                               ~~~~~

Three days later is his funeral. Me and Julien attend, though we hang around in the back. We know that we're not welcome.
The service is long. Too long, and they all say empty words about him that aren't true, they're not Alek, just the vision they've painted of him, but even though I feel annoyed Julien just squeezes my hand.

Too much. It's all fake, they won't remember him and none of them, none of them really knew him and he'll be forgotten in the next day and-

"Almond." The familiar voice snaps me out of my thoughts, and I turn. It's Willow. I search frantically for Julien, for his support, but he had left to go to the bathroom.
"Sorry- I gotta go," I mumble, quickly turning.
"Wait, Almond, please! I need- I need to tell you something," she begs, suddenly grabbing my arm. I spin back around, and before I know it, the words are spilling out of my mouth.
"Why? Why do you need to tell me something, if you really think I killed your brother?" I snap tiredly. Willow flinches, and for a fleeting moment I think that that was how she saw me whenever she made a sudden moment and I flinched.
"No, no, I'm sorry, no Willow-" I'm cut off.
"I think it's best we keep our distance," she says coldly; zero emotion, her tone so icy that it sends shivers down my body.
"Willow..."
"No, Almond. I'm sorry, but..." she trails off. And wheen she meets my eyes, I don't only see hurt in them; I can see something clouding them. The slightest hope that might object; rebel, for her.
And I don't.
"I'm sorry too," I whisper, knowing that I mean that in so many ways, and I know that Willow knows too. She turns, the hardness in her face returning.
"It's for the best," she says, her voice soft and vulnerable. And she leaves, heading towards her parents and Benji. When she reaches them, her mother just shakes her head, but Willow doesn't even look up. She just hoists Benji onto her back and they trudge off into the distance, to the Seam.
"Maybe one day... You'll forgive me," I whisper to the silence I'm left in, with no one else in earshot.

And the familar pang of guilt envelopes me again; a shadow, looming over me.
One that I now realise I'll never let go of - I'll never be able to.

And then Julien comes back and he wraps an arm around my shoulders, sensing my emotions.
And we go the opposite way.

A/N: A bit of a shorter chapter... Sorry about that! The next chapter might take a bit longer to update, since I'm starting to work on some other things, but I promise it'll be good! Well... Hopefully, in terms of quality. If you know, you know ;). Hope everyone is having a great week!