Fluid Heart, Firey Soul (Peeta Mellark x Reader)

Chapter 50 - War

The room feels even colder once the screen shuts off, as though all warmth and life has been drained away. I am left with nothing but the hollow echo of my own thoughts. My body feels heavy and my mind is exhausted from watching these videos day after day. I hate the sound of Peeta's voice, dripping with contempt and hatred, playing on a never-ending loop, each video worse than the last.

I close my eyes tightly, hoping for some reprieve, but the images are so burned into my head that it only brings more torment. I see Peeta's cold, unrecognizable gaze, the sneer on his lips as he mocks me, the ruins of District 12 under his feet. It's been like this since Snow's visit. Each morning, my drip is changed and I'm injected with the murky liquid. They fill the room with these videos for hours and leave me to sit with it all. They say it's to help me remember the truth, to heal my damaged mind after the Quarter Quell, but it feels torturous.

I am not allowed to question their methods. Any hint of doubt will result in punishment. And bringing up my old memories of Peeta is strictly forbidden. He is not who I thought he was, and that's all there is to it. President Snow used to attend these sessions, watching me to gauge my reactions to the videos. But now that I've started to accept them as the truth, he no longer bothers. Only one Peacekeeper remains on guard during these sessions. They trust me now, and I trust them.

They saved me from the Games, and now they are saving me from him— from the boy I thought I loved. Or the boy I thought loved me back. Part of me still clings to the belief that another version of Peeta exists, that it wasn't just an act for the cameras. Maybe he didn't abandon you. The thought creeps in, unbidden, and I hold onto it. Maybe there's a reason. Maybe Snow is lying.

But as soon as I allow myself to entertain these thoughts, guilt and anger wash over me like a tidal wave. He betrayed you. I grit my teeth, trying to tell myself that this lingering hope is nothing but weakness. He turned his back on me and everything I thought we had. And I hate him for it. I hate that he left me alone. I hate the way he looks at me in those videos, as if I am the traitor, as if I am the one who walked away.

Every day, the lines between love and hate blur together. I struggle to decipher which emotion is stronger, which one is even real. I can almost hear his voice, not the one in the videos, but a gentler version. But then I am reminded of the Capitol's words, that it was an act for the camera, the evidence it was never real. Peeta was always a liar. He never loved you. I feel a tear roll down my cheek as I manage to drift off.

The white room fades away and is replaced by a misty landscape where soft light filters through the trees, casting a gentle glow on everything around me. It feels oddly familiar and I feel at ease as I walk through the forest, the leaves softly crunching beneath my feet. The mist clears slightly and then I see him— Peeta— standing ahead. His eyes are gentle and filled with warmth. This is not the Peeta from the videos.

"Peeta?" My voice comes out small and uncertain.

"Hey," he says with a warm smile, and the relief that surges through me is almost painful. He holds out his hand and I take it eagerly, yearning for comfort, for connection.

"Are you alright?" I ask.

"I'm fine now," he responds, giving my hand a gentle squeeze. "I've been waiting for you to find me."

I turn to face him and his lips fall onto mine in a tender kiss. This feels real, like everything else without him has been nothing but a nightmare. I feel his grip on me tighten as he pulls away from the kiss.

"Peeta?" my voice cracks, the warmth draining from my body as he stares at me.

"Did you really think I cared about you?" he sneers, his warm eyes now replaced with the cold stare I'm familiar with. His grip on me tightens painfully, and I feel his fingers dig into my wrist, holding me in place as I struggle against him. "You were always so easy to fool. So desperate for someone to love you."