Au'jaeuh Johnson
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We just got done setting up and appointment for me to get this abortion. My parents are stressed and mad as fuck.
They're still having a hard time tryna understand why this taking place to begin with.
According to them I'm stupid.
My appointment is Monday.
Today is Wednesday, so I gotta walk around like this for the next few days. They not gone do nothing, but give me death glares.
Great.
My bump is showing, so that's really pissing them off. I'm upset about the abortion because apart of me do want this baby.
At first I didn't, but the more I look at my stomach I do. Kenan don't wanna get rid of it either, so apart of me wanna be disobedient.
I'm not going to cause I know I'm not ready for no baby. My parents would be pissed too.
I just don't like the fact that they're making a decision for me. That makes me angry, and I just wanna crash out.
I'm feeling so many emotions.
It's like I don't know whether I should be happy or sad, mad, angry, confused — I don't know. I'm not in control of my emotions and I hate it.
"Ain't nobody doing nothing or going nowhere" I heard ma say out loud before I sighed
She been tweaking every second for no reason. Her ass need to go do crack or something cause that weed ain't working.
"Look, you not about to be mad and have aggression towards me. Where is my keys?" my momma asked for the third time
"Angel wherever you left them, ain't nobody got no keys. I don't know where they at"
"Why you saying nobody going nowhere?"
"What you want?" ma spat out
"Help me find my keys so I can take the twins to camp" my momma said before it got quiet for a few seconds
I eventually heard them migrating upstairs before I got off the couch. I've been tryna avoid my parents because they just give me death glares.
It's hard avoiding them.
They have nothing to say to me, and I ain't got nothing to say to them.
It's kind of like I do, but I can't form the words. I wanna go outside, I've been in this house trapped.
They won't let me leave.
I found my way to the kitchen, and started finding something to eat. My momma ain't cook in a long ass time, all she do is order food or something.
For breakfast, she warm up instant grits or something. Like, what the fuck is that gone do for me?
I'm always hungry, and having no food makes me angry. If I want a breakfast I cook, order food, or Kenan order it.
I could hear my parents stomping back down the stairs. The garage door eventually closed, which indicated that my momma was leaving.
I continued to fix something to eat before finishing. For a minute, I sat down and started eating while just feeling crazy.
I need to go outside.
I took a deep breath and got up from the table before finding my way to ma's office. She been there all morning doing god knows what.
It ain't got nothing to do with me.
I stood in the middle of her office while tryna form the right words.
