How Much Is Too Much

CHAPTER 5 - Hope and Confusion

Carina stands, breathing heavily, hands braced on either side of the sink as Maya rubs her back in soothing circles. "Hey, it's gonna be ok... Just breathe." She tells the other woman.

Carina sighs. "What if it's not? What if... God what if they don't want anything to do with this child? If it's too painful for them... I mean come on you know how they have been with me. They limit their contact, they never come to the house... This baby deserves grandparents. And lord knows I can't give them that on my side." She says.

Maya shakes her head. "I think you are worrying for nothing. I know you think they don't want to spend time with you or avoid this place, but that's not totally true. I mean they agreed to come over today..." She says.

Carina stands up straighter taking a few deep breaths. "You're right, I know... I just." She sighs, choosing her words carefully. "I just feel like since the funeral they have wanted to be around me less and less." She says sadly. "I mean they even meet you for coffee or dinner somewhere rather than come to the house." She says.

Maya nods. "I know, but they always ask about you. I think... They don't know how to be, like do YOU find it too painful having them around, maybe. Perhaps you can talk to them about that when they get here... A sort of segway into the news..." Maya suggests.

Carina nods. "That's actually a pretty smart idea." She says.

Maya shrugs. "I AM pretty smart you know..." She smirks.

Carina rolls her eyes before pulling Maya into her holding her, hugging her for close to 30 seconds. 30 glorious seconds of which Maya lets herself pretend, that this could be something, that Carina could be hers. Snapping herself out of it the second the hug is over.

"What would I do without you?" Carina says, more a statement than a question, looking at Maya, in that moment, she feels something unknown stir within her. Frowning slightly, she moves back, out of Maya's arms, trying to shake it off.

Maya remains completely unaware but just smiles in return, watching as Carina moves around the kitchen. The doorbell catches their attention, as Maya looks to the door and back to Carina, who gives her a look as she makes her way to the door. Maya gives her a supportive nod, before Carina opens the door greeting Leo's parents warmly as they walk in. "OH! Maya... I didn't realise you would be joining us today?" Gloria says.

Maya shakes her head moving to hug Gloria. "Hey. No, I'm not... Just pretend I'm not here." She smiles, moving to say hello to Jim with a hug, before turning to Carina. "Good luck, I'll be in my room. Just shout if you need me." She whispers as she runs her hand down Carina's arm before giving her hand a quick squeeze.

Once Maya is gone, Carina makes coffee for everyone - her's being decaf - as they all sit in the living room. Carina watches as Gloria looks around the room.

"You've made some changes." She states in a tone Carina can't read.

Rather than talk about her and Maya's decorating choices Carina simply nods, clearing her throat. "So, I am sure you're wondering why I asked you here today... I mean I know since, um, since the funeral we haven't seen a lot of each other." She says.

Gloria and Jim look at each other, a knowing look passing between them as Gloria reaches out for Carina's arm, touching her gently. "I - well we - think we know what this is about..."

Carina looks at both of them with a frown on her face. "Really? You do? But how?" She asks.

Gloria tilts her head softly. "Honestly honey..." She starts with a soft voice. "It's ok... I mean we were a little surprised, but after we gave it some thought it seemed kind of obvious, and don't worry we aren't mad."