How Much Is Too Much

CHAPTER 7: Push & Pull

The following morning Carina makes her way into the kitchen, stopping as she see's Maya making one of her signature smoothies. She breathes a quiet sigh of relief, thankful for the noise of the blender at that moment, as it covers the noise of her shuffling into the kitchen.

She takes a moment to just watch Maya, frowning as she tries to zero in on the thoughts and feelings the sight of the other woman is suddenly stirring in her... Or is it sudden? She stands staring hard as she thinks, but her concentration means she isn't paying attention to Maya as she turns off the blender.

She spins around stopping dead as she notices Carina - a wide smile spreading across her lips. "Hey!" She says causing Carina to jump slightly, bringing her back to herself.

"Sorry... Didn't mean to startle you." Maya says with a laugh.

Carina shakes her head. "Sorry, just, um, tired..." She waves off.

"How are you feeling? You doing a little better than last night?" Maya asks gently, moving into Carina's space as she reaches out to rub her upper arm in comfort.

Carina looks at Maya's hand on her arm before moving away out of her reach, trying not to notice the confused and possibly hurt expression that washes over Maya's face at the less than subtle brush off. "Yeah... Fine." She says shortly.

Maya sighs. "Carina, please... Don't push me away. I know this is hard but-"

"But what? There is nothing anyone can say or do Maya... Talking isn't gonna bring back my baby's Father, so please, just stop." Carina huffs in annoyance, pushing down the guilt she feels at the fact that the real problem is about her confusion over how she feels, and how Maya feels, and she is using the excuse of her dead husband to dodge the issue. It feels, well, gross, but she can't seem to stop herself.

Maya nods sadly. "I get it, I do... but Carina no."

"No, what?" Carina rolls her eyes.

Maya smiles timidly, like she is trying to endear herself to a bear to stop it attacking. "No, I won't stop. I won't stop worrying, I won't stop asking how you are, I won't stop caring."

Carina huffs, but says nothing further as she sits at the table with a cup of decaf coffee. Maya continues making her breakfast before sitting down with her shake and some muesli. "How was your date?" Carina asks, breaking the silence.

Maya looks surprised for a second, although whether it's over Carina speaking or the topic she has chosen she isn't sure. "Um, good." She says.

"Good? That's all I get?" Carina asks.

Maya chuckles. "Fine, it was really good. He's great, we had more in common than I thought and he wasn't like a douchey dude, you know? Like grounded and real. I like him." She says.

Carina swallows the uncomfortable feeling rushing through her, instead nodding. "Oh, um, yeah that's... great." She forces out.

Maya nods. "Maybe, but let's not forget I have had plenty of great first dates, and substantially less were also great second dates... So whilst I like him and will see him again, I'm not counting my chickens yet." She smirks.

"Right. Smart." Carina says with a small frown.

Maya notices Carina's frown matching it with her own. "What is it?"

Carina looks genuinely confused as she lifts her gaze to Maya's "Huh?"

"You look... I don't know... Somewhere between pissed and nauseous?" Maya questions.

Carina shakes her head, despite the frighteningly accurate description of her feelings. "Oh, um yeah, Sorry, it's, ah, I guess some of the nausea is back... Just trying to ignore it." She shrugs.