How Much Is Too Much

CHAPTER 4 - A New Reality

5 MONTHS LATER...

"Carina?" Maya calls through the closed bathroom door knocking gently. "Are you ok?" She asks.

Maya and Carina were having breakfast when Carina bolted from the table to the bathroom and is now apparently throwing her guts up.

"I'm ok. Just leave me... I think I ate some bad sushi yesterday." She says though bouts of heaving.

"Ok... There's a glass of water outside the door for you, and I don't need to leave for another 30 minutes so shout if you need me, I'll be in my room." She says

Carina holds the vomiting noises, breathing deeply. "Thank you." She tells Maya, who nods despite the closed door between them retreating back down the hallway making her way to her bedroom.

It had been 5 months since Leo died. 5 months since Maya left hospital needing to stay with Carina - well anyone, but Carina offered, and it afforded her a benefit too. What was a temporary agreement for 2 weeks, became, a month, then 2, and when Maya's lease was up Carina told her it was stupid to pay for two places, and officially asked her to move in.

Maya took some time to think about it, Carina thought it was because of the implication of living with someone versus having her own space. A thing that was part of Maya's existence ever since Carina had known her. But the truth was that now Leo was gone, and Carina was relying on Maya more and more, the two of them being almost constantly in each other's company, she was finding it harder and harder to ignore the feelings that had always languished just below the surface for the Italian woman.

And what's worse is the time spent together and them basically living together since Leo's death meant that she not only struggled with the feelings, but that they were quietly growing. And the thought of living together permanently... Well that worried her, how long could she pretend? Would it all come crashing down around her if Carina found out? Would she lose another best friend?

So Maya decided she would tell Carina, thank you for the offer but that she thinks it best that she moves home and renews her lease. Well that was what she MEANT to say... But then Carina looked at her with that head tilt and told her how much easier her being around has made things.

How Maya being in the house has made staying there bearable for her, that she is able to think about starting to live her life with the strength that Maya's presence brings her. And well, you try saying no to that... Feelings or not. And so she stayed.

Maya officially gave up her apartment 2 months ago, not that she has spent a night there since before Leo's death. Since that awful event, Maya has basically used it as a very expensive storage and wardrobe facility.

Maya sits on her bed sighing softly, thinking back over the last few months, the differences in their friendship dynamic now it's just the two of them. Simple plans made through one conversation, rather than multiple phone or text message links. Compromising over disagreements instead of majority wins. The way that whether Carina is aware of it or not she touches Maya constantly.

Maya's thoughts are interrupted by the sound of the toilet flushing and the bathroom door opening in Carina's ensuite. She gets to her feet, going out into the hallway. "Hey, you doing ok?" She asks, voice full of concern.

Carina smiles, waving her off. "Yeah, don't know what that was about. Weird. I feel so much better now." She says with a shrug moving past Maya and down the hall back to the kitchen.

Maya follows her as she watches her gather her lunch and a few other bits, making a coffee for the drive to work. "Maybe you should stay home today Carina... You're sick." She says.