Not everything goes as planned. And after a year in Arkham coming home to a disaster of an apartment was not part of her plans. And finding out she's a mom was never even a thought.
"It's good to be home!" I said as I entered my apartment and found it trashed. Soda cans and fast food bags littered the place, "Ok what the hell?!" I said annoyed, "Sup." a kid said as he walked past me. He hopped on the sofa and turned on the TV sipping a soda. 'And in breaking news, supervillain Poison Ivy escaped from Arkham Asylum earlier this evening and has evaded authorities.' Reporter Stacy Stewart said as my mugshot popped up on the screen.
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"Not my best day." I sighed before the kid changed channels to some cartoon. "Ok no you're gonna start answering some questions!" I said as I shut off the TV, "Who are you and why are you here? Answer or die." I said, "Bad Mom." he said, "Yeah well that's not exactly a new thing kid." I said, "Look I can't have you here. Is there somewhere I can drop you off?" I asked, "My mom's." he said, "Where's that?" I asked, "Here." he said, "No this is my place and I don't have any kids. The only time I came close was that one time with...Joyride...that motherfucker!" I snapped, "I think I'd remember having a kid though." I said before he threw a DVD at me. "Play it." he said. I put it in the DVD player and I came on the screen a few seconds later. 'If I'm watching this then I went through with it. I'm having Maxima erase these past ten months from my memory, and replace them with false memories of failed plans and a short stent in Arkham. The kid sitting next to you, he's our son. His name will be...is (y/n). Take good care of him.' the recording said, "That's stupid! Why go through the trouble?! Who's looked after you till now?" I asked, "Auntie Maxi." he said, "Makes sense. Look I'm not going to be a good mom, or a mom in general, but I'll help you find a decent family." I said.
A few days later, I found a single mom, Cheryl, with two adult kids. "OK, kiddo. Uh, have a good life, I guess." I said as I turned to leave, "Bye Mom." (y/n) said sadly, "God damn it." I said as I pulled (y/n) into my arms, "Um what's going on here? What are you doing with my son?" Cheryl asked before I wrapped a vine around her neck and snapped it, "Yeah he's not your kid, he's mine." I said, "What changed?" he asked, "Just stop talking. I changed my mind about you that's all. I do dumb shit clearly." I said, "Now ground rules, I don't change diapers, we recycle, you're gonna learn to ride a bike cause it's good for you and the environment, oh and we have family dinner at least twice a week." I said, "Also I'd appreciate it if you didn't mess with my plants. They're my babies." I said, "That's me." he said, "Yeah, yeah you are." I said as we went home.
"Baby, wait here for a second, Mommy has to break a bitch." I said, "Wait, you need a sitter. YOU! Stand here, hold his hand so he doesn't run off or I'll murder your whole family." I said as I forced a stranger to watch my son by wrapping vines around them, "Hey, Douchbag!" I said as I stormed into the parking lot, "Ivy? Haven't seen ya in years, not since Bloodhaven." Joyride said, "You knocked me up prick!" I said as I flipped his car, "I have a kid?!" he said, "Yeah I have a kid, you have an appointment with the coroner!" I said as I dropped his car on him, "I should take this and make it an EV. Nah, I'll just get a new one." I said.
