Ivy POV
"God not again." I groaned as I flipped through the mail, "What?" (y/n) asked, "The Legion of Doom wants me to join them, again. The last time I said yes was three years ago and they fucked me over! I want nothing to do with that boys club." I said making (y/n) gasp, "I'm a boy!" he said, "No, no! I know that look, Harley had it all the damn time!" I said, "WE'RE GOING!" he said excitedly.
"OMG! Poison Ivy, we are so excited to have you back. The LoD is trying a more inclusive model. Oh where are my manners, I'm Tabitha and I'll be your tour guide today." Tabitha said, "So Lex only wants me back 'cause I'm a woman and wants to be "inclusive"?" I said, "Oh god no...it's 'cause you're a mom." she said.
"And this is our early childhood development center. Your son will learn everything from the ABCs to arming a nuke. Oh, looks like he's taking a liking to the mafia course." Tabitha said, "SHOW RESPECT DAMN YOU!" (y/n) yelled as he punched a man, "I'M SORRY DON!" the man cried, "Give 'em da boots." (y/n) said as he put a cigar in his mouth and walked back to my side, "Light?" he asked, "Hey no smoking. It's bad for my plants, and your three." I said as I threw the cigar away, "You looked like you were having fun in there." I said, "Got some ideas." he said as we walked, "Here's the daycare." Tabitha said, "Wait there's other moms here?" I asked, "God no, that'd be terrible for their careers, great for their Instagrams though. No, this is here 'cause Joker couldn't keep it in his pants. He's got like nine little clowns in there. Then Deadshot and Black Manta's kids are in there too. There's more, but who cares! Up next is the break room." Tabitha said, "I'll rule as a god!" (y/n) said.
"And that's our tour. Now would you like to sign on for ten or fifteen years?" Tabitha asked, "Baby, do the thing." I said, "ON THE FUCKING GROUND!" (y/n) screamed as he waved around a gun, "Oh how cute." Bane said before (y/n) jumped on him and put the gun to his head, "Who taught you this? It's rather impressive for a baby." Bane asked, "Aunt Harley!" (y/n) laughed, "Makes sense." Bane said, "If you're gonna kill him do it. Saves me from giving him a severance package." Lex said, "Oh..." Bane said sadly, "Hey. I appreciate you." (y/n) said as he got off Bane and gave him a business card, "PUT THE MONEY IN THE BAG!" (y/n) ordered as he took Tabitha hostage. "Damn it, he's got someone useful. What do you want." Lex asked, "We want five hundred million. And a van with a forty-gallon fuel tank, and it has to be fuel efficient." I said, "That's not too hard as long as it's not a...", "And it has to be a hybrid.", "YOU MONSTERS!" he said, "Fine, it'll be at your door in two hours." he said, "Money now." (y/n) said, "Do you accept checks?" Lex asked, "I'll kill her!" (y/n) said, "A simple no would suffice." Lex said as he wired me the money, "We're leaving." I said, "AND WE TAKE BANE!" (y/n) said as we left.
"Why'd we take Bane?" I asked, "I like him." (y/n) said, "Would anyone like some pasta?" Bane asked.
YOU ARE READING
Poison (male child reader X Mother Poison Ivy)
FanfictionNot everything goes as planned. And after a year in Arkham coming home to a disaster of an apartment was not part of her plans. And finding out she's a mom was never even a thought.
