Not everything goes as planned. And after a year in Arkham coming home to a disaster of an apartment was not part of her plans. And finding out she's a mom was never even a thought.
"Mom!" (y/n) said as he jumped on me. "I'M UP!" I said in shock. "So when were you gonna tell me you had a kid?" a woman said as I sat up.
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"Stranger danger." (y/n) said, "Fuck, Harles I meant to shoot ya a text, but...I've been busy." I said, "I can see that." Harley said, "Well now that you're here I think you and (y/n) should uh, um, get to know each other! Yeah, that!" I said as I pushed my son into the arms of the psycho clown.
Harley POV
I sat awkwardly with (y/n) on the sofa, "WHERE THE FUCK DID SHE GO!" I snapped, "Coffee." (y/n) said, "Tsk tsk tsk...sooo, um what are...do anything over the weekend?" I said awkwardly, "I could've been your other mom." I said.
Ivy POV
"Can I get a large mocha, a medium decaf, and a hot chocolate. I've got my ex at home and she's hyper as is." I yawned, "Twenty-six thirty-three." the barista said I swiped my card and took a seat.
"I'm back." I said, "GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT!" Harley yelled, "MOMMY!" (y/n) said as he hid behind me and pointed Harley's gun at her, "Wow! Ok, let's take two steps back. Take a breath and..." I said before (y/n) pulled the trigger and shot Harley's bat. We watched him put the gun in a potted plant and scooch away, "Tucker did it." he said innocently. "What happened?!" I asked as (y/n) tried to sneak away, "Not another step!" I said as I tied him in vines, "Damn it." he said. "The little bastard set my hat on fire!" Harley said, "It was a dumb hat Harles." I said, "But it was the dumb hat you gave me!" she said, "Oh, oh no. Harles I'm so sorry." I said, "It's fine. I blew it out of proportion again." she said, "You've changed Iv. Clearly. You're a mom now, no time for your crazy ex/bestie, I get it." she said, "Don't do that. Don't make me feel like shit 'cause you're insecure." I said, "Yeah I'm a mom, yeah. I don't have a damn clue what I'm doing, you know I don't. BUT...I swear I had a point with this." I said, "Look Harles, I'll try my best to make time for you, and I'm gonna be the best damn mom!" I said, "Yeah the kid ran off three minutes ago babe." Harley said, "Fuck! That's on me, I rambled." I said.
"LIMP DICK TWATS!" (y/n) shouted as he was thrown into a trunk before the car sped off. "Did my kid just get kidnapped?!" I said, "Yeah, and outside your apartment too. What are the odds?" Harley said, "We have to get him back! He's all I've got!" I said, "You've got me." she said, "HARLEY!" I snapped, "Fine, let's get the little shit." she groaned.
(y/n) POV
"You idiots kidnapped the wrong kid!" the boss snapped, "Look, I'm so sorry kiddo, the 77th Street Slashers pride ourselves on our attention to detail. Now I'd love to let you go and forget all about this, but I can't. What I can do is allow you to win your freedom in honorable comb..." he said before I shot him in the head, "I did it." I said smugly, "CLEAN THIS SHIT!" I yelled, "Yes boss!" Goon 1 said.
Ivy POV
"WE'RE HERE TO SAVE YA, LITTLE SHIT!" Harley said as we burst through the roof, only to have the entire gang pointing guns at us, "Mommy!" (y/n) said happily as he ran to me, "Aw I'm glad you're safe, now get down. Mommy's gonna fuck some bitches." I said, "It's fuck up some bitches, Iv." Harley said, "What did I say?" I asked, "HEY!" (y/n) yelled drawing all attention back to him, "BACK TO WORK!" He yelled and shockingly the gang ran back to work. "Lazy fucks." he grumbled as he poured a pixie stick on a table and snorted it, "Iv, I'm starting to like your kid!" Harley said.
