What is there to lose? -Doukaza in MHA

A dull light

We need angst. 

Anyway I'm semi alive!!!!

...

Douma- 3rd person

It's been a long time since Douma's days felt somewhat bright like they used to. He had adjusted to the change well, or so he thought. But after some time it seems even he was melting to the endless dull in this household. It felt like every day was on repeat, and time seemed infinite and boring. It felt... strange.

It was like he was back where he started.

The silence in the temple. The screams at night. The numb smile and the blood. The haunting feeling of death loomed on his shoulders as the life drained from a person's eyes. It felt never-ending to look in a mirror and to see the scared wound on his chest. Douma sighed as he touched, feeling the scarred skin. I mean it was healed, yet the feeling of losing your life, even for a moment was terrifying. To lose Akaza. To lose his new chance at life like he always dreamed of.

Douma had everything anyone could ever dream of. He had Akaza and he could feel, his emotions were so strong and he could feel.
Yet.

He was losing it all.

Slowly.

...

"Douma dinners ready! Just letting you know if you want to eat!" Fuyumi knocked on the bathroom door and Douma snapped out of his thoughts.
"Oh, that sounds wonderful! Give me a moment to change!" He said cheerfully, grabbing his things.

...

Dinner was mostly uneventful, and the room was filled with a soft silence. Douma pursed his lips as he ate, an eerie feeling settling on him. The world felt dull, and no one seemed to blink an eye. He looked around, reading the tables emotions. Calm, numb, static, exhausted, tired. Douma leaned back in his chair, looking at his half-eaten dinner. He felt sick to his stomach with this situation. Who knew emotions were so.. overwhelming. Douma felt lost at sea with no anchor or lighthouse to guide him back to shore. He missed the calm and the warmth of Akaza. How real his emotions were and how he was so grounding yet now he was gone and barely smiled in his memory.

Douma took a deep breath to eat a bit more. He didn't want Akaza to be mad at him, despite how cute he was when he frowned. He gulped the last piece down and stared at his empty plate. A blank smile on his face, Akaza would be proud that he finished, right?

...

Right?

...

Douma got up and walked over to the sink, cleaning up dinner as the others slowly started dispersing. He got lost in thought as he scrubbed each dish and put it on the drying rack. Fuyumi had taught him how to clean by hand, and Douma thought it was nice of her so he's been helping with cleaning lately. The kitchen seemed quiet and dull, like most of the house.

Fuyumi watched him for a second, seeing him glaring at the plates like they were his worst enemy. She felt the room get colder and a slight slush of ice form in the soapy water. She scrubbed the counters and paused, seeing her breath in the air.

"Douma?" She called out.

"Douma..?"

"Hey, are you ok Douma?" She asked a third time, putting a hand on his shoulder. Douma jolted and dropped the plate on the ground and it shattered. They both flinched back as Douma pulled his right hand out of the now solid ice of soapy water that was in the sink. There was more silence and Douma sighed, kneeling to clean it up.
"Sorry about this.." he softly chuckled as he tossed the shards in the trash.
"It's ok, it happens to the best of us" she smiled softly. "After we clean up do you want to take a walk with me?" Fuyumi asked the other ice user and he smiled with a nod. "Of course! That sounds amazing".

—————-
30 minutes later
——————

The walk was nice for a change from being stuck inside all day training, sleeping, or doing school work. The wind blew by the two as they walked on the sidewalk. People seemed to give glances at the two but said nothing more.
"So... where are we going?" Douma asked, having a small hop in his step. Fuyumi softly smiled at this.
"Well, I thought I might show you something since you're gonna be staying with us for a while and it's only been like 4 weeks now? Hehe, almost a month?" Douma hummed in agreement.
"I also thought it would be nice, since you like seeing nature so much" she mentioned.
"That's nice of you... I'm not the nature one, my boyfriend, Akaza is more so. He just rubs off on me too much hehe.." his smile faded at the thought, oh how he missed him, god he missed him so much.

"Oh I didn't know you had a boyfriend, he sounds nice!" She smiled, softly clapping her hands together like a kid and Douma smiled.

"Akaza? Yeah, he's cute, a temper, but definitely cute. I'm sure if you meet him you'll like him. He can cook too, and I might be a little biased but he makes the best soups." Douma joked and Fuyumi giggled "Well I can't wait to meet him, you should invite him over some time?" She suggested. Douma thought about it, to have Akaza close, even if more than a few hours to just hug and kiss, and... it sounded nice. "Yeah, I'll ask him some time"

The two ended up at a graveyard, and despite their chatter, it seemed to fit the mood of the day. They walked in with Fuyumi in the lead. Their footsteps ended in front of a grave that Fuyumi smiled at. Douma looked at her and the grave again, its headstone read

Touya Todoroki

"This is my brother" she mumbled. "I know you're hurting, Douma, and I know I can't help you in the way you need" she continued, looking at the stone. Douma didn't know what to say, how to act.
"I come here to talk and to... run away from my feelings... I.. I thought it might help you" Fuyumi explained a soft blush on her face in embarrassment. Douma smiled at the other, he felt touched, that someone would care and be as kind as her. "Thank you, Fuyumi" he smiled at her and she smiled back, tears welling up. Douma took this moment to hug her and comfort her.

They stood there for a while as Douma pat Fuyumi's back and let her cry. It was weird for Douma, it wasn't like all those times in the temple where they begged for him to save them. He felt nothing for those people yet Fuyumi? He felt... sympathy for her and.. he cared. Not as much as Akaza but.. she was a good person with a gentle heart. Douma wished that she was in a better situation, with more support. Douma wished everything was better...

———

Sorry it was so depressing, it's late and I've just kinda felt meh and stuff.

Hope you're having a good day! And sorry that my writing is different, it's been a while hehe
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