The Deep End

Uncertain feelings

The following week felt like a slow burn, each day dragging on as Leehan tried to process the new dynamic between him and Taesan. There was an undeniable shift—a tension that had always been there but now felt palpable. No matter how hard he tried to deny it, he couldn't shake the fact that something was happening between them, something neither of them had fully acknowledged yet.

The school was quieter than usual as Leehan sat at his desk, working on a homework that seemed endless. His thoughts kept drifting back to the night before, to Taesan's words, his touch—everything felt charged, heavy with unspoken promises. And yet, Leehan couldn't bring himself to confront the feelings building inside him.

He had always prided himself on keeping control, on maintaining distance. But with Taesan, nothing seemed to go according to plan. There was a part of him that wanted to give in—to let himself be swept away by the raw intensity of Taesan's attention. But another part of him was terrified. Terrified of losing himself, of letting his walls come down only to be left vulnerable, exposed.

As Leehan pondered, the door to the office creaked open, and in walked Taesan, his presence filling the room like a storm. He looked effortlessly cool as usual, his usual confident smirk playing at the corners of his lips.

"Busy?" Taesan asked, his voice low and teasing.

Leehan glanced up at him, trying to hide the emotions that flickered across his face. "Just a little," he replied, trying to sound nonchalant.

Taesan didn't seem to buy it. He stepped closer, leaning against the desk with that all-too-familiar intensity. "You've been distant lately. Keeping your thoughts to yourself?"

Leehan shifted uncomfortably in his chair, feeling the weight of Taesan's gaze on him. It was like Taesan could see right through him, into the parts of him he hadn't even fully understood himself. And it was unsettling.

"I've just been... thinking," Leehan said, his voice a little quieter than he intended. "About everything."

Taesan raised an eyebrow, his smirk shifting into something more genuine, more curious. "About us?"

Leehan hesitated, unsure of how to answer. He had spent so long building walls around his emotions, pretending like nothing could get past him. But now, Taesan was making it impossible to keep pretending.

"Maybe," Leehan admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.

A flicker of something passed through Taesan's eyes—something like relief, mixed with a touch of amusement. He straightened up, taking a step back as if giving Leehan space, but his gaze remained fixed on him.

"You know, you've been pushing me away for so long, I started to wonder if you even cared," Taesan said, his tone teasing but laced with a hint of vulnerability that caught Leehan off guard.

"I do care," Leehan shot back before he could stop himself. He immediately regretted the words, wishing he could take them back. It was too much, too soon, but it was already out in the open.

Taesan didn't respond right away. He just stood there, staring at Leehan with an intensity that made his heart race. For a moment, it felt like everything around them had stopped—the ticking of the clock, the hum of the fluorescent lights, even the air between them seemed to hold its breath.

"You don't have to say it if you're not ready," Taesan said softly, breaking the silence. "But I'm not going anywhere. I won't leave you hanging."

Leehan's heart thudded painfully in his chest. He wanted to say something—to explain that he wasn't running, that he wasn't rejecting Taesan, but it was hard to put into words the whirlwind of emotions that swirled inside him. He wasn't ready for this. He wasn't ready to let someone in again, not after everything.

"I don't know how to do this," Leehan admitted quietly, his voice thick with uncertainty. "I don't know how to let someone in without... without being afraid."

Taesan's expression softened, his usual playful demeanor fading into something more sincere. He took a step forward, reaching out as if to touch Leehan's arm, but then he stopped himself, as though sensing Leehan's hesitation.

"You don't have to have all the answers right now," Taesan said gently. "But you don't have to be afraid either. I'm not going to hurt you, Leehan."

Leehan swallowed hard, the words sinking in. Could he trust Taesan? Could he really let himself believe that this—whatever it was—was real and not just a fleeting moment, something that would end in pain?

The silence stretched between them, thick and heavy with unspoken fears. Leehan felt himself retreating inward, instinctively protecting his heart, but there was another part of him—something deep inside—that was pulling him toward Taesan.

Without even thinking, he found himself asking, "What if I can't handle it? What if I can't handle you?"

Taesan's gaze softened further, and he stepped even closer, the distance between them now almost nonexistent. "Then we'll take it one step at a time. No pressure, no rush. Just us, figuring it out."

Leehan didn't respond. Instead, he closed his eyes for a moment, letting the weight of Taesan's words settle over him. He wanted to believe it. He wanted to believe that it could be that simple—that they could just take their time, that they could slowly build something without rushing it.

But Leehan knew better than to think things would be that easy.

"Do you trust me?" Taesan asked, his voice low, his breath warm against Leehan's skin.

Leehan opened his eyes, meeting Taesan's gaze head-on. For a moment, it felt like the world had narrowed down to just the two of them, standing there in the quiet of the office. He didn't know what to say, didn't know if he could truly trust anyone again.

But then he realized, with a quiet, terrifying certainty, that he already had.

"Yes," Leehan whispered, his voice barely audible.

Taesan's eyes lit up with something that made Leehan's heart skip a beat. Without a word, Taesan stepped even closer, closing the space between them until their bodies were nearly touching. He placed a hand on Leehan's shoulder, then tilted his head, his gaze locking onto Leehan's lips.

Leehan froze. His breath caught in his throat as the moment seemed to stretch endlessly, and all at once, he felt both terrified and exhilarated.

Then, without another word, Taesan leaned in.

Their lips met in a kiss—slow, hesitant, but charged with a tension that had been building between them for weeks. It was nothing like the other times when Taesan had teased him or pushed his boundaries. This was different. This was real.

And as Leehan kissed him back, as his heart pounded in his chest, he realized one thing: maybe he wasn't as afraid of losing himself as he had thought.

Maybe, just maybe, it was time to stop hiding.