𝚆𝚑𝚒𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚆𝚒𝚕𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜

𝙵𝚒𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚗

"What are you doing out here?" 
Violet turns around from her spot on the deck, having snuck out of the cabin only mere minutes ago to try and clear her spinning head. 
Violet tilts her head at Jackie, giving a small shrug, "I'm just looking at the stars," 
"Could you maybe wish on one to get us out of this hellhole?" 
Violet laughs at the comment, the smile sticks to her face as Jackie carefully takes a seat beside her. "Believe me," she begins, "I've tried," 
Jackie lets out a soft hum, keeping her attention on the brunette, "You know, the starlight really makes your skin glow," 
Violet rolls her tongue over her teeth, "Thanks. I've been using a new 'all natural'  dirt exfoliant," she jokes, leaning back on her elbows, keeping her eyes up towards the dark, starry sky. 
"Hm, I'll have to give it a try," Jackie smiles softly. 
Violet tilts her head to look at the captain, feeling her stomach flutter intensely when she locks eyes with Jackie who has been looking at her the entire time.  
"Why are you up? It's late," Violet's head tilts, watching as Jackie seems to have conflict in her mind regarding how to respond. 
"The truth?" 
Violet nods, playfully rolling her eyes "Obviously," 
"Well..." Jackie sighs, scooting closer to the shorter girl, "I was waiting for everyone to fall asleep so I could sit and your bed and we could talk, like we've been doing the past few nights," 
The statement tugs on Violet's heart in the best way, heat rises in her cheeks. "Really?"
Jackie nods, "Yeah," Jackie's face is now mere inches away from Violet's, so close Jackie can now clearly see the rose that shades her cheeks, even in the darkness. 
"I just...I really like spending time with you Violet," Jackie whispers. 
Violet doesn't know what comes over her as she closes the gap between the two, Violet's lips meeting Jackie's. The kiss  makes Violet's heart beat rapidly, the adrenaline courses through her veins. The kiss was nice, it was until Jackie pulls away violently, looking at Violet with a look she can only identify as pure disgust. 
"What the fuck, Violet!?" 
Violet's heart hammers louder in her throat, her ears ring so loud it makes her head spin. Tears are spilling down her cheeks, she feels her soft cries get locked in her chest and throat. 
"I-I'm sorry-"  she tries to tearfully reason with the captain, but is interrupted. 
"Did you-" Jackie laughs, "Did you seriously think I liked you like...like that?" Jackie lets out another laugh, "Oh my god. You're so fucking naive." 
"No I'm not-" 
"Yes you fucking are, Violet" 
Violet's lip quivers, she tries to speak but the only thing that comes out are pathetic stutters. 
Jackie's previously sweet, soft expression is now one of  mockery and disgust, it makes Violet feel like she swallowed a bunch of rose thorns. 
"I'm sorry. I didn't-" 
"But I think you did. So what? Have you just been fawning over me the entire time? Has your inability to fall asleep just been a cover to spend more time with me? Are you that obsessed with me that you need to make shit up just for me to be around you?" 
"No-" 
"God, all this time and I never would have guessed you would be one of them," 
"Jackie-" 
"Do you really ever think I would lower my standard to date someone like you?" 
"I just-" 
"God, wake the fuck up Violet!" 

"wake the fuck up Violet!" 
Violet's eyes shoot open, her heart beats rapidly in her chest so hard it feels like a brick. She sits up quickly in a cold sweat, her eyes dart around the dark room with shallow breaths looking at  where all of her teammates are fast asleep, including Jackie. 
The relief feels like ice water is dumped on her head, her heartrate slows down as she realizes it was just a dream. It was just a dream. 
"Hey, Violet, it's okay," 
Violet jumps, forgetting someone had saved her from the nightmare that plagued her mind. 
Natalie comes into Violet's line of vision, her face is painted with concern as she stares at her best friend, "It's okay. Everything's okay," she soothes. 

Violet lets out a shaky exhale, placing her hands over her face, "Fuck, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up,"
"You didn't," Natalie tries to reassure, but Violet knows based on the rasp in the blondes voice that she indeed was just woken up. 
"Was it about Cabin guy again?" 
Violet removes her hands from her face, sighing as she brings a knee to her chest. 
"No," she softly admits looking at Natalie, "It wasn't," 
"What was it about?" Natalie's hand gently rests on Violet's sweater, moving her thumb soothingly as Natalie always did when Violet had nightmares. 
The tears that well in Violet's eyes are uninvited and something Violet does not appreciate, they fall down her cheeks before she can stop them. 
"Hey, it's okay, Vi. It's alright-" 
"No," Violet shakes her head, "No, no it's not alright, Nat." 
Natalie lets out a small exhale, "Was it about your parents?" 
Violet shakes her head again, wiping the tears from her face, Natalie bites her lip, "Well?" 
"You're going to think it's stupid," 
Natalie shakes her head, "I won't," 
"Swear?" 
"Swear,"

"It was about Jackie," she meekly admits after a beat of silence, watching as Natalie's eyes rave with confusion. "Jackie?"
Violet nods, "Yeah. About Jackie,"
Natalie's eyes shift around, it seems as if a million puzzle pieces are finally coming together in her head. "Holy shit," she gasps softly, "Violet, do you-" Natalie pauses, trying to read Violet's face. "Violet, do you...like Jackie?"
Violet's hands cover her face in embarrassment, giving a small nod.
Neither say anything for a moment, Natalie just moves beside her best friend, nudging her slightly. Violet removes her hands from her face, resting her head on Natalie's shoulder, taking a deep breath. 
The two friends sit in silence for what feels like forever, both being worried about saying the wrong thing. After another eternity, Natalie finally speaks. 

"Jackie Taylor hey?" 
"Jackie fucking Taylor," Violet almost laughs.
Natalie shares a small chuckle, "I gotta say, I didn't see that coming," 
"Trust me, me neither," 
"Does Jackie even swing that way?" 
The question gives a painful jab to Violet's heart, dread sinks into her veins, goosebumps scatter all over her body along with the ice cold chills. 
"No," she says bluntly, "I don't think so anyway," 
"I mean...you never know?" 
"Even if she was, she's with Jeff. Despite how on and off they are, it's clear they really care about each other," she sighs. 
Natalie gives Violet a small frown, "I'm sorry. That's gotta be tough," 
"It doesn't matter. We have more important shit to be worrying about," 
There are a few more beats of silence, Violet fiddles with her rings trying to focus on the cool metal opposed to the fact the girl she has developed a crush on was straight with a boyfriend waiting for her back home. 
She feels a familiar ache in her chest, one that she has learned to adjust to her entire life. 
Violet doesn't say anything when Nat adjusts to lay down, or when Violet also reluctantly lays down. 

She feels Natalie's eyes linger on her for a minute but Violet just turns on her side and tries to get her brain to shut up for once in her life. 
It doesn't. 
Not at all, not even in the slightest bit. 
But Violet's use to the chaos that plays in her brain 24/7. She's been learning to adapt to the chaos since she was a kid. 
Whether it was what was running through her brain or the chaos in her own home life. 

Violet was good at adapting to things. 
It's what she does best. 
So, adapting to the probability of Jackie Taylor not liking her back shouldn't be too hard. 
That's what she's been trying to convince herself for the rest of the night anyway. 
It isn't until she hears everyone else getting up and beginning breakfast and chores she realizes just how long she had been stuck in the raging storm that was her mind.