Bittersweet Marriage (Jella)

Chapter 2

Ella POV

When you hear the word "marriage" Anong pumapasok sa isip mo? Feast? Sex? Cake? Family?

I looked at myself in the mirror reflection in the bathroom. Young female figure with frowning face staring at me from the mirror behind. The woman's face looks some miserable with eyelids and the skin dull due to work related stress suffered in recent months. The young woman in the mirror it was Ella de Jesus, myself.

I complained as she put on me. This morning I felt unwell but what may make me have to keep teaching. A few more week midterms, I have to finish some of the subject matter before next week. If I may be honest, I never thought that being a teacher would be busy. I smoothed my hair and sighed. Initially I chose to become a teacher is because I think being a teacher looks fun, at the time when student having holiday, the teachers were able to have vacation and relax. Pero hindi pala ganun. I was naive, since I've always miscalculated and failed. Even before my friends often call me a loser. Alam ko naman na tama sila. So far there is not good thing that happened to me, including the marriage.

I looked at the figure of the woman in the mirror again, her face looks like want to cry this time, so pity.
Let me introduce the woman in the mirror, her name is Ella, since the summer of last year she taught at a private secondary school in Manila, has been married with her childhood playmates and about to become father.

Father....

I shook my head. Kahit na isa akong teacher at madalas na napapaligiran ng mga bata, I can't imagine myself as a father. I mean, I love children and I love to play with them, but playing with the kids and have a child are two different things.

I straightened my clothes once more before I left the bathroom. Since growing up I was always thinking about marriage and starting a family. Since childhood I have been orphaned because of that I crave a warm and happy family. I did want a family-wife and children-but not this way.

I've dated few times before this but everything always ends up in matter of months. I was never doing more than merely a kiss with the woman who became my girlfriend at the time, not because I put a moral or follow a particular religious stream, but because previously there was never a suitable opportunity to do so. When then the opportunity came, I never thought that it would do with my childhood friend, Jema Galanza.

I'm not someone who is conscientious and always be careful in doing something. Often, I make mistake, but only this time I did a fatal error. Mistake that this time, can only repair by doing with another mistake.

When you hear the word "marriage" what's in your head?

Honeymoon?

I wrinkled my forehead while looking up in the kitchen. My wife, who also wrinkled forehead looked at me with a look of dislike, every morning she would look at me with her dislike face and it makes me feel very upset. She always treated me like an enemy. As if all happened was my fault alone.

Hindi ba nya alam yung kasabihan na "it takes two to tango"?

Before all this happened, much earlier, we were both quite familiar. We used to play together. I still remember the first time I play with Jema often play pretending to be a princess. Even now, she is still entangled with her obsession to become princess. That is one of the reasons why she was so upset by the fact that she has to marry me, because I'm not a prince who she wanted.

Princess?

Give me a break.

"Toast again?" I half muttered, pulling up a chair in front of me and sat down. Jema did not like to cook but every morning she always prepares toast for me. If she does not like to do, she should not bother to make breakfast for me. Somehow, I feel annoyed staring at bread that was slightly charred.

I heard my wife sighed.

"ang ingay mo naman!" she said curtly, she looked at me in disgust, "This baby kept kicking my stomach when I'm going to cook something. Try mo kayang mag luto na may baby sa tyan mo. Hindi naman ako kangaroo!"

Again, she used her pregnancy as a shield. Silly reasons.

"Don't make a joke!" I said with a tone that is slightly higher that that I actually I mean, "4months ka palang buntis, which could probably kick your womb? Don't fool biology teacher"

This morning ritual begins again, as usual, Jema always insulting me and threw me rant. I know she hates me and blame me for all that has happened, but even though I knew I was wrong, I still couldn't prevent her word hurt me. Every day she would issue rant insulting my dignity as a person, and every morning I would go to work with anger.

Today I kicked off our dining table to end our debate. I went off to school with mixed feeling. Women are the one that always knows how to hurt my pride as a person.

Nag lakad na ako ng dahan dahan papunta sa sakayan. I left fifteen minutes earlier than it should. All of this because again Jema start a fight with me. Thinking since when the young sweet girl who lives next door to my house it grows into selfish woman.