Bittersweet Marriage (Jella)

Chapter 9

Jema POV

I know what I'm doing and makikipag kita talaga ako sa ex boyfriend ko, this is not true. I mean I am married and over again, Ella and I will soon become a parent, but today I will actually meet my ex-boyfriend. Of course, I will not do strange things with him, we will just meet because he wanted to return some stuff I left in his place. This is not cheating. Yes, I don't need to feel afraid or uncomfortable on my partner, because I didn't do anything wrong.

I know I'm not wrong but at the same time I'm not right. I feel bad to Ella because I will meet James and I can't say it to her? I mean, what kind of wife asked her partner for permission to see her ex-boyfriend, right?

Ah no, normally, a wife will not see her ex-boyfriend behind their partner.

James and I broke up because I have to get married with Ella. The day we parted he was very angry at me. I distinctly remember the moment I saw his expression. His face is usually quiet and rarely shows the mean reaction, that day he punched the glass table in front of him until it shattered. For the first time since I've known him, I felt frightened at the sight.

James is handsome and educated, the ideal figure of a man who always everyone wanted to marry. At that time, when I saw his eyes full of anger at me, I know, he will never be able to forgive me. I know, it's too late.

For the first time, I learned to let go of something so I wanted.

"Saan ka pupunta Jema?"

I was standing in front of a long mirror in the living room and saw the reflection of myself in the mirror when Ella who was lying on the couch in front of the television take her eyes from the television and looked at me.

Typically, before this, she never asked me anything. This is the first time she asked something like this to me. From the look in her eyes I knew she was serious and want answers from me.

Napalunok ako. Bakit ngayon pa? Hindi ko alam kung dapat ba akong mag sinungaling. Ella already knows me long enough to know the signs when I lie.

But I tried to relax, I must not look suspicious.

"I have an appointment with my old friend," I'm not entirely lying, James also include old friend, right?

Ella who was lying on the couch "where? Hahatid kita."

I hastily flick of my hands, trying not seem to panic, "no, we'll just eat cake in the cafe just opened in front of the station next to the city. I'll be back before dinner."

Ella frowned but didn't say anything. Somehow, I felt she was considering to let me go or not.

"I promise I will only eat piece of cake to keep my sugar levels," I said, forcing myself to smile, Ella still looked at me without saying anything, "and I take blood booster supplements the doctor gave just in case, okay? Aasarin kasi ako ng friend ko pag nakita nyang hinatid mo pa ako." I laughed nervously.

Ella sighed, "well,okay basta wag ka masyadong mag pagabi ng uwi."

I nodded, secretly relieved that I managed to go without supervision and felt a little guilty for lying to her.

"Sige, una na ako ha?"

I hurriedly left our apartment before she changed her mind.

I turned once in the direction of our apartment building and sighed before stepping away from the building that has not been year it has become my home.

Actually, I feel strange. A month ago, I will not feel guilty at all when lying to Ella. I will not bother ask her permission to leave the house.

I think, a month ago, Ella was not going to bother about where I'm going and what I would do outside the home. It's was strange, because in a month's time, we were both changed. It feels like we have ourselves back once when we still friends.

I walked to the station while remembering what causes we both changed. I feel that lately I feel more comfortable around Ella. Perhaps now we can begin to make friends again like before.

Friends?

I chuckle with that term. Make friend with your partner is a thing that sound ridiculous.

When I was on the train, I looked at my watch. Time show at half two in the afternoon. I will arrive on time. I was relieved because James didn't like being delay. He was always on time and he hopes that everyone around can be just in time to make an appointment to see him.

I still remember when I was late half an hour from the time an appointment because my professor who wishes to add our class hours. When it took all our dinner to apologize to him. I really love James but at certain times he almost made me cry with violent attitude.

The first time I met James was when my friend invited me to a gathering with young lawyers from a firm. That's where I met him. He looks striking than the other with his dark brown hair and white skin. His face was very handsome and made me fall in love at first sight to him.

I was very happy when he came up and asked me to get acquainted. We then chatted and exchange phone numbers. Three days after the gathering that he sent me a text message to ask me out to dinner. Of course, I was very happy!

We ate out a few times. Every time he would take me to a place of luxury and class and treated me like a princess. He doesn't talk too much, but he listened to me carefully. In our fifth date, he asked me to be his official girlfriend. Of course, I don't have reasons to reject a man like him.

Handsome, rich, have confident and smart. What I want from a man it's all in James. It's like I won a lottery when I became his girlfriend. Many girls are jealous of me, I guess I've become like Cinderella, managed to steal the heart of the prince.

I snapped out of my daydreaming when an announcement over the loudspeaker announced that the train will enter the station for a while longer. I was getting ready to go down.

My chest was pounding when I got off the train and walked out of the station. It has been almost half a year I didn't see James, I don't know what to put face like what is currently dealing with him later.

I took deep breath and prepare myself. I know since I gain weight containing eight kilograms. Suddenly, I wanted to turn away and go home.

I am now definitely look fat at all compared before. What if James was so disgusted with me?

Suddenly I panicked but I tried to calm myself. I don't need to worry. I tried to convince myself that I'm married and James opinion of me doesn't mean anything.

I promise to meet with James just five minutes from the time the train station. In an instant I was in front of the cafe. A cafe terrace with French-style design. The place is quite popular to date.

I saw him.

It didn't take long to find James. He looks like sparkling among others.

He sat there while drinking a cup of coffee. Black coffee without cream and sugar. I know his habits. He looks very handsome with red polo shirt and faded gray jeans.

My breath as interrupted when he looked at me and waved briefly as a sign that I approached.

Shit.

I swore to myself.

Shit.

Shit.

Shit.

--

"What will you order?"

I took the book list the menu while checking the list of menus available while James uses his hands as a gesture to the waiter came to our table.

"can I help you? Asked the young waitress who is old enough and look neat.

"ah, I order beef pepper rice and peach tea." I smiled at the waiter. Then I turned to James, "you didn't order food?"

James shook his head.

"let me repeat your order, one beef pepper rice and one peach tea?"

I nodded.