Bittersweet Marriage (Jella)

Chapter 8

Ella POV

Today I saw my child for the first time. Well, not really see it but there is a faint image on the screen in doctor's office and it was my child. Still very small but starting to resemble a human baby, with arms, legs, and tiny fingers. I could see it moving in the Jema's belly. He even sucked his thumb!

Jema and I don't know what's the gender of our baby but even so, I've fallen in love with a baby who was not even born yet. I know, from now on, the baby will continue to grow in Jema's belly until finally born into the world. I can't wait to meet my first baby.

First baby?

My face heated imagine the word 'second baby' and the next. Me and Jema didn't love each other and our marriage is happening because of a mistake. Me and Jema equally don't want another mistake occur. There will be no 'second' or 'third' time. Me and Jema have reached an nonverbal agreement. We have decided to make peace but that doesn't mean our feelings have changed, right?. But I know, deep in the corner of her heart, Jema will still blame me for all of this.

I opened my eyes and stared at Jema's room ceiling. We were both lying on the bed in the room she occupy before she got married and moved into our apartment. Rooms lights have been turned off so that the only light in room was only moonlight came through the sidelines of her window blinds that were on the other side of the room opposite the bed.

Beside me, my childhood friend fell asleep. Her body was next to me. Vaguely I could hear the sound of her regular breathing. I can smell the soft scent of her shampoo. Since we got married, this is the first time we sleep in same bed. Me and Jema didn't want to make her parents anxious and decided to behave like a normal couple to please both, including by way of sleeping in the same bed.

Although this is the first time I will sleep in her bed, but this is not the first time I was in Jema's room. First, as a child, I often come play in Jema's place. We were coloring picture book or doing summer homework. Jema's mother will go in and we're busy doing something and brought us a cake of fruit and drinks. On rainy days, at the moment we can't play outside, Jema's mother would make hot chocolate for us. Me and Jema will play cards or puzzle to pass the time.

In the past, been a few time Jema will fell sick and couldn't play outside. At that time I would come to visit and be with her. Jema would lie in bed with a fever compress plaster embedded in her forehead and thick blanket wrapped her body while I read a book or playing a PlayStation alone. When Jema was already asleep I remain there, until she woke up and will see me, I would ask if she's feeling better before I leave to go home.

I smiled at the memory of my childhood. Me and Jema are close enough. I've considered orphaned as a child by the Jema parents. We are very close to exceeding siblings.

I closed my eyes, trying to remember the reason we become away to each others. During our junior different class, but it was like when it was occasionally, we still often go home together.

I opened my eyes and suddenly. Naalala ko na. Naalala ko na ang dahilan kung bakit nag kalayo ang loob namin ni Jema.

I smiled at the thought of the reason. At the time we are still very young. Too young to be able to cope with small trouble as happened at the time.

Ah no. Even now we are still immature. Until this time was no different. Me and Jema still put our selfishness. And soon we will be parents and should set a good example for our child.

Our child...

Bigla ko nalang naisip si Samantha, one of my student who suddenly cried in front of me. I don't know what happened to her but somehow, I feel sympathy for her. Seeing her tears, I felt compelled to do something to stop it. Perhaps, as a teacher, this is beyond my responsibility but I couldn't let her sad like that. I wanted to do something for her. I want to make her feel better.

I don't know what's going on in her family, but I've seen, kung gaano nasasaktan si Samantha dahil sa magulang nya. Samantha is reliable model student I never thought that the real her was injured like that.

Maybe I'm too meddling but as a teacher, it is not a duty to help his student? I don't know what but I want to do something. Maybe I'll talk to her. By becoming interlocutor maybe, I can help ease the burden.

Suddenly, I feel sleepy. I don't know what time it is but I have to work tomorrow morning. I shouldn't wake up late tomorrow.

I wipe my eyes with one hand before turning around. I release a small yawn before my eyes closed.

"Good night, Jema." I whispered and then let sleepiness grabbed my consciousness.

--

When I woke up the next morning, I was alone in the bed. I wrinkled my forehead, trying to gather my consciousness. Window curtain in front of me had parted but the sun still look embarrassed. It shouldn't have been too late. I squirm before finally sitting up straight and stretch my muscle that are stiff.

The digital clock on the table shows that this is still six in the morning, Jema not usually get up so early.

Unless she woke up feeling nauseous.

I feel anxious, I know Jema often feel nauseous in the morning and spent nearly half an hour in the bathroom just to remove all contents of her stomach through her mouth. I walked downstairs to feel a little anxious. At least, in this house there are two parents, if there is anything something happen, they can help.

In the kitchen there is only my mother in law who was preparing breakfast, it looks like my father in law is not up yet. Quite reasonable when considering how many bottles of beer he spent last night at dinner. Lucky, I managed to refuse his invitation to drink too much last night with reasons to teach today, otherwise maybe I was lying in bed this time.

Mother in law to stop her movement which was chopping something and turned to me. She smiled at me before returning to work.

"Ella, good morning. Ang aga mo naman nagising. You still can sleep up to seven pa, right?"

"okay lang po, Nasaan po pala si Jema?" I asked, decided not to answer question from my wife's mother.

"she woke up a little while ago because of nausea and after throwing all her dinner last night she said wanted to run in the morning..."

"running in the morning?!" I said don't believing what I heard, what's in that woman's mind? I also don't believe my mother in law to let her go jog alone!

I immediately turned around and headed for the main door. If anything happened to Jema. If anything happened to our child.

Just as I walked a few steps, the main door opens to reveal the figure of Jema wearing a red shirts. Little bit wet towel hanging around her neck. Her hair little wet because of sweat.

"Gising kana pala?" she said with a casual tone when she saw me. She crouched down to take off her shoes, not realizing look that accompanied the wrinkles in my forehead to him.

"Saan ka galing?" I asked with furrowed brow, behind me my mother in law stop the cutting, seems to want to overhear my conversation with Jema, I don't care. Right now, I'm annoyed to this woman.

Jema put her shoes on the shoe rack before walking toward me and walked into the kitchen to see what her mother had cooked for breakfast. I followed her from behind, still insist on getting an answer from her.

"I just ran in the morning," said Jema as she saw a plate of fried shrimp on the table and take one to eat. She turned to me and said with her full mouth, "I woke up too early and I think it would be a nice morning run for me. Hindi na ako nakakapag exercise eh."

"Jema.." I sighed and massage my temples with one hand, she doesn't know how I got panic, "you don't need to exercise, you're pregnant! Don't push yourself doing something that you don't need!"

"Exercise is important!" Jema said as she took a piece of shrimp again and eat it, "just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I have to stop the activity. I don't force myself. I know the limits of my endurance. Anyway, I just jog in the park near here. Don't be too excessive."

"if there is anything in the way happened to you, who will help you?" I asked annoyed, "if you want to do something you could do something safer. Something that can be done indoor. At home!"

Jema put her hands on her waist, a pose she always did when she was ready to argue, "look, I just ran in the morning and it was not dangerous! Wag mo nga akong pangaralan, I'm not your student."

"Jema!!" scold from my mother in law, who had been silent listening, "Nag aalala lang si Ella sayo, wag ka ngang ganyan..."

"but she treats me like disable!" Jema said pointed at me.

"I just don't want you to act recklessly! You have to remember that you are pregnant this time!" I said that began to be provoked, "don't underestimate. The condition of your body can change suddenly on the road. If that happens you think who would bother?"

"what? So that, huh?!" Jema turned to her mother before going back to look at me, "see? Hindi naman sya nag aalala, ayaw nya lang magulo sya!"

"hindi naman sa ganun!" I was just going to raise my tone when I saw the tears started rolling down her cheeks. I swore to myself. Great, now I made her cry at her parent's home, in front of her mother!

"she just think I'm a troublesome," Jema began to sob.

Pregnant women and her crazy hormones..

"listen, it's not what you think," I sighed, I glanced at my mother in law and she just gave me a look sympathy. I was a little relieved because my mother in law seemed to understand that all of this is only because of excessive estrogen in her daughter, "I didn't mean it like that."

"then what do you mean?" Jema challenge me still with her tears in her eyes.

I slapped my forehead in my mind and reminded me to be careful when talking to a pregnant woman in the future. I can't deal with woman who was crying. I wanted to smack myself.

"Sorry Jema," I said more gently, "Nag aalala lang talaga ako sayo. Ayaw kong may mang yaring masama sayo sa daan."

Jema turned away but didn't say anything. Wrinkles on her forehead I knew she was still not forgiven me. I sighed. Apparently, I have to try better.

My eyes met the gaze of my mother in law who stood not far behind Jema. She smiled sympathetically at me as if giving spirit.

I tried again, "Ganto nalang, next time if you want to run in the morning, gisingin mo ako, okay? Para masamahan kita. How's that?" I don't know what to do if this doesn't work, "Jema?"

Jema snorted.

I looked at her.

"Okay."

I looked relieved to hear.

"there, there," said of my mother in law intervened, "see what time is it? Ella should be getting ready and we can have breakfast together! Jema, wake up your father for breakfast!"

--

I went to school with different paths today. Jema decided to stay longer at home and spend time with both parents. Before dinner, my father in law will take her home by car.

Actually I was happy because Jema can spent time at her home. Hindi kagaya sa bahay mag isa sya, At least at her parents' home there are two in-laws that could watch her so I don't need to worry. Jema is not a feminine girl who can sit still. I always worry about her when I leave her alone at home. She could have accidentally burned our home.

I often feel irritated because Jema clumsy personality but after the events of the day I learned to be more careful when talking to her. I shouldn't raise my tone when reprimanded.

Bigla kong naisip, dati naman kahit nag aaway kami hindi naman sya umiiyak ng ganun, paano kung umiiyak pala sya behind my back.