Bittersweet Marriage (Jella)

Chapter 10

Jema pov

Maybe what I'm doing is wrong, ah no, what I do is definitely wrong. I wonder what's in my head until I exist in this place at this time... Oh wait, what if Ella know about this? No, Ella wouldn't know. Beside what if she knows?

After all, I'm not having an affair.

"so what your order?"

I sighed, since before my eyes on the menu but didn't really read it. My head is full of the other thing.

Hastily I mention the top menu that are on the list. I'm not even hungry at this time.

Actually, why am I here?

I look at the man in front of me while squinting my eyes. Why would I go when he asked me to meet me again today? Ah yes, he said he would return the earrings this time.

I should go immediately after receiving earring but James wouldn't let me go before eating. He knows I can never resist.

Maybe all sound confusing. It all started this morning, while I was busy watching a morning talk show on TV suddenly my phone rang.

I didn't expect that James would call me, saying that he was around my house and asked me to meet. Again, he reasoned that he wants to return my earrings. Bago pa ako makapag isip ng maayos, my mouth already agreed to James invitation. And I know, this is not the right thing to do.

We met at a family restaurant within a few blocks from my apartment. I'm little worried that there are neighbors who will see us both.

Somehow, I feel guilty.

I don't understand why James still want to see me. I recall when we first broke up it really upset him. I'm not sure he will forgive me. Today too I don't know what is on his mind. Could he still hate me?

I squinted earring in my hand.

"wait, this is not my earrings."

He smiled, "oh yeah?"

I looked at him confused, "it's not my earrings. Hindi ako pwedeng mag kamali."

James just smiled while eating his salad. I still wrinkled my forehead. I don't understand, what this really is.

"James..."

"yes, hindi talaga sayo yan because I just bought it."

I raised my eyebrow, "for what?"

James put his fork on his plate. His eyes looked straight into my eyes, "I want you to come back to me."

I was speechless. James still looked at me seriously. I tried to wait a while, hoping he would laugh and say that everything he said was just a joke to make me laugh. But unfortunately for a joke, what he just said was not at all funny, and for one thing I also know that James is not the type who like to joke. What he just said was really serious and I don't know what response should I give to him.

I opened my mouth to say something but no single word come out. For a moment my mouth open and close without being able to say anything, to the person at the table across from us I must have looked like a fish that is placed outside the tank. I don't understand why James can seem so calm during and after saying something like that.

After all this time why should it now?

--

"I'm home..."

I took a deep breath before saying, "Welcome home Ella."

I tried to be as normal as possible in front of Ella. I know we don't love each other but somehow, we were married, and I don't want to cheat on her.

The word 'cheat' itself has sounded horrible in my ear.

I walked out the kitchen towards Ella who just threw her body on the couch after removing her jacket. I stood not far away still thinking how to behave in front of her tonight after was has happened today.

"hhaaaayy..."

we looked at each other. We just sighed simultaneously. I blinked my eyes, as well as my partner. She stopped her movements. Her eyebrows drew together as she looked at me anxiously.

"what?"

I shook my head, brown eyes looked into my eyes, look for signs that I was lying or hiding something, "no... You?"

She hurriedly shook her head but I know that she was hiding something from me. I moved toward her and pointed to her chest with my index finger. She took few step when I forward to her direction.

"Ella..." I hissed, "you're hiding something, right?"

"n-not important."

"oh yeah?"

I knew she was lying with her eyes avoiding my gaze.

"Ella..!"

"w-well I'll tell you later.." Ella said finally, "only if you tell me what's wrong with you."

I flinched.

A pretty dodgy deals. I folded my arms across my stomach bulge that had been thinking that my partner submitted bids. Of course, I still have another alternative move that is pretending to sulk until she tells what happened to her, in any way to be pregnant woman with her hormones are ready to explode at any time provide a distinct advantage for me, but I dismissed that possibly. The only option if I wanted to listen to what my partner long sigh behind it is to give her reason why I sighed.

A difficult choice. But this is life.

I don't know how Ella will react later.

--

Either I should feel happy or sad. Or both at once?

First person ever taught me that everything that happens must have positive and negative aspects at the same time, just how we react to it. And this time, how should I respond?

I glanced at Ella who still silent beside me. Apparently, I'm not the only one among who lost for words and didn't know what to do. Actually, I was surprised by what she had just told me. Actually, when I asked her to tell me what she was hiding something from me before, I don't imagine that it is something like this.

"so..." I swallowed, "you lose your job?"

Ella shook her head, "Hindi naman ko natanggal sa work," she tried to laugh but her laugh sounded not powered, "Suspended lang hanggang sa new school year."

I wrinkled my forehead, "Okay, I understand. But why?"

Again, brown eyes refuse looked into my eyes.

"Ella..." I'm getting frustrated because since she had not yet telling me with clear explanation and I need to know. When my partner lost a job because of something, I as a wife is entitled to know why, right?

Ella sighed deeply. For a moment she hesitated but then finally she opened her mouth to tell me, "there are rumors that I had special relationship with one of my students."

"what?!" I stood up from my seat.

I looked at Ella who was still sitting on the couch we were in disbelief. I never saw Ella as someone who could have an affair, especially with her students. Ella probably not the smartest woman that I've ever met but I know she was not stupid enough to have affair with her own student. But still, human is human. We never know when they will be tempted by another human... Wait, of course she would be tempted, wouldn't she just marry me because she had to. But.... If she thinks this kid certainly she would not do anything like that.... Yeah, right?

"Jema... Do you hear me?"


I blinked my eyes and realized that Ella apparently was trying to talk to me.

Her eyes looked at me anxiously, "are you all right?"

I shook my head, hand massaging my temples that suddenly felt dizzy. I sat down again, but this time shifted slightly away from her.

"I don't understand," I muttered, "why all of a sudden?"

"my students, one of my girl student, is in a trouble..." Ella told me again, "I take the time to listen to her problem, and then somehow strange rumors begin..."

I shook my head, "I still don't understand, the school can't go around it.."

"never mind," Ella suddenly laughing, when I threw an angry glare at her, she looked at me apologetically, "good thing, we can take a vacation that you want, right?"

She always like this. There is always a 'good thing' of all things. Yes, it is one of the things she taught me. I throw breath and shook my head. It seems useless as well to be angry about this.

"so.." Ella looked at me timidly, "what about you? What is the thing that had been bothering you?"

I gasped. Suddenly I remembered about what James had told me. Yet for a while before I managed to forget until Ella asked me about it again.

When seeing how Ella looking at me, somehow, I feel that is not right thing to do.

Looks like this time I have to lie again.

"ah, I was just thinking about our next vacation."


To be continue...

Sorry maikli lang yung Chapter 10, bawi po ako later sa Chapter 11.