Sins And Sinners (Marvel X Male!Reader)

Chapter 10

On the other side of the mansion, Tony finally had the good sense to talk to the only stable and emotionally available adult he knew, Virginia 'Pepper' Potts. He waited a bit after you left to ask her what he wanted. And he did so in true Tony Stark fashion when it comes to emotions.

Awkwardly.

"Hey uh, there's this thing that I want to talk about with someone but I don't know how to, so....."

"Erm... it depends. What exactly do you want to talk about and to whom?" She replies, perplexed by his awkward approach to the conversation. Although she needed more context, she had an inkling as to what this was about or rather who.

You were the only person who'd inspire such a reaction out of him. She knew better than anyone that Tony had very few people around him. All of whom he talked to on the regular, except for one, you. She continued to look at him, silently encouraging him to continue, but not rushing him, to allow him to gather his thoughts.

Tony knew that what he said came out more awkward than he had intended. He was silently trying to gather the words needed to ask what he wanted. He'd never been good with things like this. But this was way too important to mess up. Part of being a genius is knowing when you need help and he knows it too. After struggling to find the words that he needed, just breathed a sigh, conceding to the truth for this.

"I'm not a good father.....

Hell, I'm not a father at all.

In that cave when I thought that I was going to die, I had a lot of regrets. But the most important or you could say that the one thing that I regretted the most in that moment was Kai.

I mean, I should have been there when he walked for the first time. I should have been there when he said his first words. I should have been there when he got sick, when he must have had nightmares as a kid. I should have been the one to check in his closet and under his bed for monsters when he was afraid. I should have been there dropping him off on his first day of school, being there for when he made his first friends. When he scored well on his first test.

I just-I have missed so much and now.....

Now, he's all grown up. I asked JARVIS how long he's been working at the company, cause I know I only started when I was 18, but he.....

He started when he was 7.... Seven!

He was dealing with business when he should've been enjoying life like a child. But I took that from him. I took his entire childhood from him. He was spending his days with tutors when he should've been playing with other kids his age. He was working before he was even in the double digits. He was getting his PhD when he should've been having a crush on a girl for the first time. I ruined all of that for him. All this time he's had no one to turn to.

I... I-I don't even know what he likes. Everything that I know about him is either from JARVIS or the internet. I have to look up my own son to know things about him."

He takes a pause, the anguish clear on this face. It felt a little surreal to Pepper who had never in the half a decade that she had worked for him, ever seen that much pain and sincerity on him. He looked like he was holding back tears, and he was.

Tony was trying to breath through his mouth in an attempt to get rid of the lump in his throat and the burning behind his eyes. His chest ached with the admission of his guilt and the sheer lack of knowledge he had about his own son. What kind of father has to look up his own son's birthday.

He remembered having vowed to himself that he would never turn out like his father, when he was a child. Looks like he made good on it, considering he turned out to be so much worse.