Hopeless War

Chapter 1

     I flopped down on the bed, sighing as I lay back, staring at my ceiling. It still had those silly little stickers I put up ages ago. The little hearts and flowers just reminded me of when I had my mom, and didn't have to care about being too quiet in my room, or walking "too loudly" when I got home from my school. All things my dad loved to blow up at me about. I always knew it was gonna happen whenever I heard him yell my name at the top of his lungs. I'd walk downstairs, bracing myself, but it was never enough. Never enough to prepare me from the bruises. Never enough to prepare me for the man who I thought was supposed to love me unconditionally proving me wrong time and again.
On the subject of love though, I had almost no experience. Never had a boyfriend, no one ever confessed any crushes to me, and I was so close to giving up and becoming an old dog lady, cause I'm not a cat person. Sure, there were guys I found hot, but they were all never gonna happen. There was a bunch of random guys in the hallways that I never talked to that I found hot, but the main two were Sodapop and Dally. Sodapop was maybe one of the most attractive guys I've ever seen, but obviously every other girl in Tulsa feels the same, so it was not gonna happen for me. And he had Sandy. She's gorgeous, and perfect, and they're perfect for each other. And Dallas. Dallas was attractive, reckless, and a total player, so even if I did have a chance with him, it was not one I was gonna take. But I can always admire them. I hung out with them and the gang sometimes, and they were all nice, but they were definitely a lot. There aren't any other girls, so it's... interesting hanging out with them, to say the least.
The gang had a lot of characters. There was Darry, who was uptight a lot of the time, but I admired him. Honestly, I don't think I could ever be like Darry. He takes care of Sodapop and Ponyboy, and a lot of the time he takes care of the rest of the gang too. He works two jobs, and I can barely go to school. Even though he's always uptight, and doesn't show emotion a lot, I still believe that he's just a big teddy bear. He also gives the best hugs ever, they make you feel like you're safe, no matter where you are. Then, there was Two-bit. Two-bit was a jokester, but he actually cared. He was always fun to be around, and he would do whatever it takes to cheer you up, which is impressive. He thinks about other people before himself, but you can't really tell until you spend a lot of time with him. Then, Dallas. Dallas was obviously attractive, like I said earlier, but he was more than that. He could be a real jerk at times, and he really wasn't good at showing vulnerability, but I can tell he cares about people. Specifically Johnny, and sometimes Ponyboy, but the rest of the gang too. He was kinda scary at times, like when he was angry. Next, Steve. I like Steve, but he's kinda on and off for me. He's real fun and interesting when he's with Sodapop. But he's kinda... I don't know how to explain it, but he's just not deep. Like it feels like being funny and energetic is all he has going for him, and he wasn't about to start spouting his emotions, and he definitely wasn't gonna start talking feelings. And he was always around Sodapop. Soda is... perfect, basically. He was handsome, he was sweet, he cared, he was deep, interesting, and funny. I've never met anyone like him. He's the type of person you wanna be around, and he always makes you feel like he wants to be around you too. Some people will act annoyed, or not be as friendly or energetic all the time, but not Soda. He would always be the same. It was nice. You never have to worry about him or how he thinks of you or anything. Then there was Johnny, who is one of the best people I've ever met. He has parents like my dad, but I don't think he knows how similar they are. No one in the gang really does. Or anyone, for that matter. But back to Johnny. He's super sweet, and shy, but every once in a while he'll open up to me, and it's one of my favorite things in the world. It makes me feel like I'm a good friend, and that I'm doing something right for him. I always hope I am, cause he's not really younger than me, but he seems like he is, and he feels like my little brother, because I know exactly what he's going through, even if I don't tell him that. Lastly, there's Ponyboy. Pony's a sweet kid, he's a reader, and Darry gets on his case for not thinking a lot. But I think he thinks a lot, just not about some of the stuff that Darry thinks is important. He reads a lot, and watches movies. Sometimes he'll let me tag along with him, and that's always fun. He's always so interested, it's impressive how much he can pay attention to. I'd get distracted after the first hour.
They're all special, and I love all of them individually. I wouldn't really consider myself "part of the gang" though. I hung out with them, and they all liked me, but it's not the same as actually being one of them. I'm okay with that though. I have other friends that I hang out with, so I don't mind. I'm definitely not a soc, but I don't hate them. I think every time I've talked to Cherry, or Marcia, they've both been super sweet and cool. I don't really like Bob, or Randy or Paul, but it's not only cause they're bad people to everyone. They're bad to greasers, sure, but they're only doing that cause that's how they were raised. That's all they know. I live by the policy "People aren't born with hate, it's taught". I know most greasers don't really think like that, and I totally understand why, but I started thinking that way about my father, and it made me feel a lot better about it. So I started applying it to all the other aspects of my life. Like the socs. Dally always says he never understands it. But he doesn't need to, it makes me feel better, and that's all that matters.
That night, I fell asleep before my dad got home. And thank god for that. He doesn't like it when I'm still up when he gets home on nights like this. He doesn't really have a steady job, but he always tells me he has "to do some work" at the most random times, like right now. It's ten at night, and he's still out "doing work". He never tells me what he's doing, so I'm almost sure it's illegal. He used to be in charge of the roofing company Darry works at now, but he got himself fired after mom died. He didn't move for months after she passed. At first I felt bad for him, but then he stopped caring about anything. Me, work, friends, anything. Except his liquor. He stopped going to work, and obviously they fired him. He tells me I should get a job, but I'm not helping the guy who hits me and gets mad at me for dumb things. I don't have a job, but every once in a while I help out at bucks, so I have some money saved for when I need it. If he knew I had it, I wouldn't have money anymore, and he'd had four more bottles of whatever alcohol he feels like at that moment.
The next morning was a Saturday, so I got up and got dressed in some Jeans and a t-shirt. I braided my hair back, (guys rereading this I made it sound like 2016 style just picture the fit cute pls 🙏)and put on some light makeup. I put on some shoes and decided to go walk over to the Curtis house. When I got there I opened the door and walked in, kicking off my shoes and walking over to the couch, finding Soda sitting there. He grinned up at me and said, "You're really getting comfortable in my house, aren't you?"
"You mean our house?" I said, sitting down on the couch next to him, laying my legs over his.
"So, whatcha doing?" He gently rested his hand on my leg
"Not much. Got back from work not too long ago." He always had girls going to the DX just to watch him, or get a chance to talk to him, and it was kinda silly to me, but I never really judged them.
"Did the girls leave you alone today?" He laughed,
"What do you think?" I chuckled, and we heard the door swing open, and Dally walked in. He eyed Soda's hand on my leg, but didn't really say anything. It was just friendly, so it didn't really matter. He walked in and sat down on one of the arm chairs, but his eyes kept darting around the room. I knew that look, he would always act like that after he did something bad, whether he got caught or not. It was like he was making sure no one was following him, even if there was no way anyone was gonna catch him. I finally spoke up
"Dal? What did you do?" His eyes finally slow down enough to regard me for a second. Then, he says slowly in his New York accent,
  "What makes ya think I did something?" I rolled my eyes,
"You always look like that when you do something bad." He grins at me slyly
"You know me too well, darlin'. Just took a few packs of cigarettes from that corner store. The employees never pay attention." Soda just shakes his head and looks at Dallas,
"You're gonna get caught one day, you know that?" Dallas just chuckles and stares back
"Not if I'm this good at stealing. You wouldn't understand, Soda." He jokes. I laugh, then ask the two of them,
"So, what are we gonna do? I'd rather not sit around with you guys for the rest of the night." Dally grins,
"I say that once Darry gets out of work and the rest of the guys come, we can go to the Drive-in and catch a movie. I heard they're playing that new Paul Newman movie, Cool Hand Luke." Soda and I both agreed, and we all just kind of talked and hung out until everyone got back. Ponyboy and Johnny were hanging out at the lot, so they came back pretty soon after. Steve came back maybe fifteen minutes later cause of his shift at the DX, and then Two-bit stumbled in, he had been on a date with this blonde he'd been into lately, Kathy, and lastly, Darry. For a while we all just sat and talked and cracked jokes, but then Dally told them the plan and asked if they wanted to join. Everyone agreed, so we just hung out for a bit longer, till just before the movie was gonna start, and we started walking there.
We got there and the movie started, and the only person in our group really paying attention was Ponyboy. I'll never understand that kid. But soon, a group of Socs pulled their fancy mustang into the parking lot of the drive in, and for a while they didn't talk to us. I was hoping it stayed that way, but they just couldn't leave us alone, so, Paul, Randy and Bob came out, acted like they were gonna go get some drinks, but as they walked past us Bob sneered, and said, "Didn't know they let trash into the drive-in." Dally got mad, but he didn't do anything yet. I knew he was just holding back though. He would've fought them at any moment. The socs started walking back over, and Dally stood up, about to say something, but I stood up as well, gave him a pointed look, and steered him out of there.
"Cmon Dal, you know we can't start fights when they're not actually doing anything. The whole world is gonna be on their side. It's unfair, but it's true. Let's just, take a walk or something, kay?" He gritted his teeth, but nodded and let me pull him out of the drive-in. We kept walking for a while, not talking. Everyone knows you don't talk to Dal when he's mad. But I couldn't just leave him alone, so, we walked in silence. After a while he looked over at me, the fire in his eyes dying out a bit.
"You should've let me take care of those socs. I coulda beat them, no problem." I answered,
" I know you could've, Dal. But I also know that that wouldn't have been a smart move for you. Those socs got connections everywhere. You don't. You have people that have grudges with you everywhere." He scoffed, but I could tell he knew I was right.
"You think too much about these things, yknow that Sydney?" I just laughed, shaking my head. I stepped up on some of the bricks next to the path, balancing as I walked, and he held out his hand, so I wouldn't fall. I took it gently, making sure I didn't trip or anything. I hopped off and grinned up at him, letting go of his hand. He chuckled, and studied me.
"I don't know many girls like you, Syd."
"Is that a good thing?"
"Course it is" I smiled softly. "So where'd that come from?"
"I don't know. Guess I just felt like telling you that." He smiled down at me softly, in a way that I had never seen him with anyone. Whenever he was with one of his girlfriends, or one night stands, he would have this huge cocky grin on his face, like he just won the Olympics, but he already knew how good he was. And whenever he was with the gang he was pretty low-key. But this was different. He looked like he actually cared. But I'm not gonna fall into that trap. Sure, he's good looking, cool, and there's a chance he actually cares about me? I'm sure he's done this with every other girl he's been with. He's probably just gonna ditch me after a few weeks like every other girlfriend he has. I'm not gonna go down that road, I know how it ends. A dead end. So if I just don't look into his eyes, I'll be fine. His big, brown, beautiful eyes. I shook my head, trying to shake any thoughts of any of that off.
After we walked for a bit longer, I looked up at the sky, and saw all the stars, and planets, and the moon, and whatever else was up there. So I pulled him off the sidewalk, going to sit down on the grass. We lay back on the grass, staring at the sky, before he sat up and interrupted it,
"This is stupid. Sydney, there's no point to this. They're just stars, they'll be here tomorrow. Let's do something fun." I shook my head, gently grabbing his arm and pulling him back down.
"Just try to enjoy it, okay?" He sighed, leaning back against the grass, and I knew I had won.
"You think they're gonna be here tomorrow, and I guess you're right, but there's never a guarantee. There could be clouds, or something like that, and we'll never be able to predict those, so we're gonna sit here and enjoy it, cause we never know if it's gonna be here later. You gotta start thinking about the future Dal, not just the present." He looks over, staring at me
"I am thinking about the future." He keeps staring at me, and he doesn't elaborate. I'm not sure what he means, but I don't really pay attention. I look over, and stare back at him, taking in his brown eyes, fluffy brown hair, and small freckles. He doesn't have many, but they're light and scattered around his face. He's one of the only guys in the gang that doesn't wear grease in his hair, and I love it. I've spent so much time just admiring him that I can just about name every little detail on his face. That sounds creepy, but he's gorgeous so that's my only defense. Finally, after a minute of us just staring at each other, he grins and asks,
"You gonna say something or just drool over me?" I just rolled my eyes and looked away
"Don't flatter yourself."
"Oh no, I saw the way you were looking at me. I know you want me, baby."
"I am not your baby." He just chuckled, and said,
"Maybe not yet." I shook my head,
"Maybe not ever."
"Oh, you'll fold eventually." I just stood up
"You wish, Dal" he stood up next to me, grinning down at me. He looked me up and down,
"Hell yeah I do." I just laughed, I assumed he was joking. He had never acted like he had any feelings for me, it couldn't have just changed now.
"Come on, let's go home. It's getting cold." His facial expression changed a bit, and he didn't take a second to think before he pulled off his leather jacket and wrapped it around me.
"What if you get cold?"
"Don't worry about me, darlin'." I was a bit skeptical, but I just started walking back to the Curtis house. I knew it was getting late, my dad might get a bit mad, but I was seriously enjoying hanging out with Dally. Today was... different. I don't know what changed with him, but he's never acted this way before. It's a welcome change though, usually he's just cool and a bit cold. Whatever, can't worry about it too much. I'll just enjoy it while it lasts. That's the thing about Dally, he always switches up around me. One day, he's sweet like this, the next day, he barely talks to me. It's gonna take me a while to understand how he thinks, but I guess I can't think about it too much.
We walked for a bit longer before getting back to the Curtis house and walking in, and all the guys looked up at us, before Two-bit spoke up,
"Well look who it is! You missed the movie, ya know." We laughed, and sat down on the couch before Dallas said sarcastically,
"Yeah, we figured that out, thanks." Soda was staring at me, and it took a while to figure out why, till I realized I still had Dally's jacket on. I kinda just ignored it though. It's not like I was gonna let anything happen between me and Dally. After a while I looked up, and saw the time, and knew my dad would be pissed if he knew I was still out.
"Hey guys, I think I'm gonna head home now, it's getting late." Soda looked up and asked
"You need someone to walk you home?" I stood up and shook my head pretty fast, I never let them walk me home. I don't want them to see, hear, or meet my dad. I don't want them to worry about me. I stood up and said,
"Nah, I'm fine. Thanks though." Dallas popped up anyway, and said
"It's okay Syd, I'm gonna head home pretty soon anyway, I'll just walk you home. Don't want the Socs to see you all alone." My eyes widened a bit, but I shook it off. Now I had no excuse. There was no good reason to not have Dally walk me home.
"No, really, I'm okay. I don't mind walking alone." Dally looked at me weirdly,
"No... it's fine. It's on the way. Let's just go." I sighed, knowing there was no way he'd just let this go. So, I nodded, praying my dad would be asleep, or doing whatever he does for "work". The gang can't know about this, they all have way too much to worry about without worrying about me.
"Okay, fine. Come on."
We said goodbye to the other guys, and started walking. We walked in silence for a few minutes before Dally spoke up.
"So, you gonna tell me what that was about?" My head jerked up when he said that. I needed an excuse. Something he would buy.
"Um... what do you mean? What was what about?" Dally gave me a pointed look.
"You know exactly what I'm talking about. You deflecting being walked home. Why?" I shrugged, trying to play it off
"I generally just like walking alone. It gives me a chance to think and not have to talk to people." He seems to buy that, no matter how crappy of an excuse it was. Then, he jokes
"You saying you don't like being around me, darlin'?" I laughed
"Course I like having you around Dal." We kept walking for a while, and when we got to my house, I saw the light was still on. I cringed, and hoped Dally would walk away fast enough that he wouldn't hear my dad yelling.
"Um... Bye, Dal." He looked at me a bit suspiciously.
"Bye, darlin'" I walked up to my door, pretty slowly, and hoped Dally was walking away. I think I got lucky, because Dally was already out of sight, so I stood outside until I knew there was no way he'd be able to hear me. Plus it gave me a chance to prepare myself before I got yelled at. Most likely worse.
Once I was sure he wouldn't be able to hear anything, and that he wasn't coming back, I turned the doorknob and gently pushed the door open walking inside as quietly as I could. My dad was sitting in an armchair, beer cans all over the table next to him, and a beer can in his hand. He blew out smoke from the cigarette in his other hand and walked towards me.
"Where have you been? It's 12:30." I stammered back,
"S-sorry sir. I was with some friends." He looked me up and down and raised an eyebrow.
"Friends? Not boys? I know you were out with boys. Figures. You're too shallow to think about much else." I winced at the insult.
"N-no dad. Just with my friends." His eyes land on the leather jacket, and my eyes widen. I forgot about that. I pulled it off my shoulders and just held it in my arms. He just scoffed,
"Yeah. Friends. Friends who are trying to get you in their bed."
"They're not like that dad. Really." He took a step towards me, putting his cigarette out on my arm. I winced, but didn't say anything. I knew it wouldn't help if I did. I just stood there. That's when he shoved me back. That's always how this started. I have the cigarette burns to show it. Luckily he always does it high up enough on my arm so my shirts cover it. Then he just hits me. Or, that's how it usually goes. This time though, that wasn't enough for him. After he got the usual amount of hits in, and I was crying, my head was reeling from pain, I begged him to stop. Something I usually try to avoid, but he was showing no signs of stopping, and the pain was making it hard for me to think straight.
"Dad- please, please stop I won't do it again, I swear." He stopped for a few seconds, taking in my tears and pleading. Then he sneered at me.
"Weak. I didn't realize I raised you so weak. I'm doing you a favor. Showing you that you can't get through life without getting what you deserve. You deserve this. You better learn that, girl." He pushed me to the ground and hovered his boot over me, shoving it into my stomach. I yelped in pain, and he just scoffed, shook his head and walked away. I lay there, crying and whimpering from pain, and I ended up falling asleep, exhausted from everything that had happened that day.

GUYS I HAVE A QUESTION
Soooo should I make this a really sad fic and include that one thing S.E Hinton said about Soda getting drafted?? It makes me so sad but it could be interesting. And y'all, I'm not abt to get political on here, but project 2025 is probably gonna ban The Outsiders, and now all the seventh and eighth graders won't get to read it and it makes me so sad
I know this was mainly Dally but I swear Soda will be a bigger part of it soon.
Sorry if that story wasn't the best, it's my first one and I'm not too accustomed to writing like that. I'm for sure not good at writing talking scenes, but I hope to get better at that, so if you have any tips PLEASE share, I need them.