Khao slowly blinked open his eyes as pale morning sunlight filtered through the curtains. He inhaled deeply, trying to clear the lingering fog of sleep from his mind. Fragments of the previous night replayed in his thoughts - the feel of First's skin against his, the scent of expensive cologne, the taste of salt and sweat. Shame curled like a lead weight in his gut.
Carefully, so as not to disturb him, Khao extracted himself from Podd's slumbering embrace. Podd mumbled incoherently, seeking out the warmth Khao's absence left behind, but didn't fully wake.
Khao tiptoed out to the kitchen, the smooth hardwood cold under his bare feet. He started the coffee and leaned a hip against the counter, one hand scrubbing over his sleep-mussed hair as he stared blindly out the window.
He needed a moment to gather himself before facing Podd, before putting on a mask of normalcy over the roiling mess inside him. Because how could he explain the guilt eating him up inside? How could he admit that despite his love for his boyfriend, a part of him yearned for someone else?
Khao clenched his jaw, his thoughts drifting to First. The man he shared a bed with three nights a week. The man who paid the bills, who put a roof over his head. The man he had unconsciously compared Podd to the night before.
First's face from last night replayed in Khao's mind - that shuttered expression, the brief flash of hurt and betrayal in his eyes before it was smoothed away. Khao swallowed back the wave of nausea, knowing he had handled the whole situation badly.
The kettle's whistle pierced the air, snapping Khao back to reality. He poured steaming water over the waiting tea leaves, his movements automatic. As he added sugar to two mugs, Podd's sleepy voice cut through the silence, making Khao jump.
"Morning babe," Podd mumbled, ambling into the kitchen. Khao pasted on a smile and thrust one of the mugs into his boyfriend's hands.
"Morning. How you feeling?" he asked, instantly wincing at the breath wafting from Podd's mouth. So much for easing the awkwardness between them. Podd clearly needed to brush his teeth.
"I could be worse," Podd said, cracking open one bloodshot eye. He downed half the coffee in one go and Khao stood back with an amused smirk.
"Rinse your mouth out and brush your teeth, you'll feel better in a minute," he instructed.
Podd grunted but shuffled off to do as he was told. Khao cracked some eggs into a bowl, his mind once again circling back to First as if magnetically drawn. Forcing his thoughts away, he focused on cooking, trying to center himself in the mundane tasks.
He'd deal with First later, try to figure out how to navigate this new tension in their relationship. For now, he owed it to Podd to be present.
Podd reemerged a few minutes later, looking marginally more human. "Smells good," he said, coming to press a soft kiss to the side of Khao's neck and rest his chin on his shoulder. "Love you."
"Love you too," Khao replied, turning his head to reciprocate the kiss. He served up the eggs and they sat at the small table, eating and passing bits of conversation. It was comfortable, familiar, the easy camaraderie of a long-term couple.
Podd was his future, Khao reminded himself. The man he had chosen, the man he loved. First was just...something else entirely. Something he couldn't let himself dwell on, not if he wanted to keep his boyfriend and his job.
◑◑◑
The mansion's opulent pool deck resonated with the raucous chatter and laughter of the three friends as they lounged, sipping cold beers.
Neo pointedly inquired to Earth, "Hey, what happened with you and that guy last night? You vanished pretty quickly after meeting him!"
First chimed in with a mischievous chuckle aimed at Earth. "Yeah P'Earth, couldn't wait even a second date before jumping his bones, could you?"
Earth shot them both a sarcastic look as he recalled the passionate night with Mix, admiring the guy's thick, sexy physique. "Screw you two, yeah I did. You saw him too – he's exactly my type."
Earth then turned the tables. "What about you two? Didn't get any action yourself last night?"
"No, because I had to take 'someone' home," Neo replied with a laugh, deliberately avoiding eye contact with First.
First playfully smacked Neo on the arm. "Hey! Stop saying that, it makes me sound like I'm your girlfriend!"
This prompted the two to erupt into uncontrollable laughter at First's expense.
Earth joined in, "Hey, didn't you get laid too First?"
First's face flickered with an unreadable expression before reverting to normal. But Neo caught the fleeting look.
"Well let's just say I may or may not have fucked someone in the bathroom last night," First revealed casually.
The others gasped in shock. "What the hell First? What if Khao's boyfriend had caught you?" Earth scolded.
"He was drooling away sleeping, and I don't give a damn if Podd caught us," First replied with a shrug.
"First, don't say that. Khao could lose his boyfriend because of you. Is that what you want?" Earth asked, looking genuinely concerned.
"Yes, P'Earth. It would be better if Khao was single. And Podd is a good dude," Neo added.
"Guys, I really don't care about Khao and Podd's relationship problems. As long as I get to fuck Khao's brains out whenever I want, I'm happy," First stated bluntly.
Earth looked at his friend with some worry. "First, I just hope you know what you're getting into here."
First patted Earth's shoulder reassuringly. "Don't fret Phi, I can take of myself just fine."
Neo chuckled. "You're always a stubborn asshole. Remind me of aunt."
The others laughed fondly. "I know right? I miss her so damn much," First said wistfully, as memories of him and his late mother flooded back.
"We all do," Earth said.
Neo poured them each another drink of whiskey. "Before we get too sentimental, let's just get shitfaced first!"
"I actually have work tomorrow so can't drink too hard," First warned.
"C'mon First!" Neo coaxed, tugging on his arm.
"Stop it Neo. He won't say yes unless it somehow involves Khao," Earth joked.
But their night of drunken reminiscing, laughter and debate continued on regardless.
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